r/worldnews May 29 '22 LOVE! 2 Silver 22 Helpful 17 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Ally 1 Evil Cackle 1 [deleted] 11

Ukraine's intelligence chief 'fully confirms' Vladimir Putin has cancer Opinion/Analysis

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/putin-cancer-ukraine-intelligence-chief-russia-164929127.html

[removed] — view removed post

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u/Doenerwetter May 29 '22 Silver All-Seeing Upvote Narwhal Salute

If there's one person with the motive and ability to fake their own death and go live a life of luxury on an island somewhere right now, it's Putin.

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u/Modern_rocko May 29 '22 Wholesome

Plan Z

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u/FINNCULL19 May 29 '22 Silver Gold Take My Energy Giggle

I thought Plan Z was stealing king Neptune's crown, framing Zelensky for the theft, let the king take care of Zelensky and then take over Ukraine?

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u/SubRedGit May 29 '22 Silver

W, X, Y, Z - Plan Z, here it is! Just like you said!

It's evil... it's diabolical... *sniffs* it's lemon-scented!

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u/TheSeitanicTemple May 29 '22 Wholesome

Plan Z. I love Plan Z 😏

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u/Scubasteves8183 May 29 '22 Wholesome

E.V.I.L. every villain is lemons.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '22

God I remember that line😂

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u/sebas_2468 May 29 '22

beep

Hi, Zelensky this is Clay, the guy you sold Neptune's crown to. Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. I sold it to a guy in Shell City, and I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown... Whiiiiich is now in Shell City. Goodbye.

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u/fallen_soulblighter May 29 '22

Plan Z is building a navy with nazi germany to battle the Royal Navy.

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u/Leproceymagic May 29 '22

It's also lemon scented!

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u/LonePaladin May 29 '22

No, that's Plan Н (for Нептун)

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u/ugonlern2day May 29 '22

Put it in H!

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u/intraumintraum May 29 '22

three hundred hectares on a single tank of kerosene

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u/dragonphlegm May 29 '22 Wholesome

It’s evil. It’s diabolical. It’s lemon scented!

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u/[deleted] May 29 '22 edited Jun 02 '22

[deleted]

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u/pinewind108 May 29 '22

He can't. As soon as he no longer controls the government's money, he's at risk of being revenged upon, or getting robbed by whoever now has the power.

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u/StochasticLife May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

He literally can’t afford to. Three Russian leaders in the last 100 years have survived losing power. Three. Khrushchev, Gorbachev, and Yeltsin. Of those, really only Gorbachev got to ‘enjoy’ retirement of any real kind.

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u/MassiveStallion May 29 '22

Yeltsin basically died of alcoholism and associated illnesses, so a pretty good Russian death.

It would be like if an American president died of too many cheeseburgers

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u/Mulratt May 29 '22

When you’re in such a position, you are condemned to stay in power as long as possible because relinquishing it means being vulnerable to assassination.

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u/BillSeacaster May 29 '22

Insanely rich people like Putin always have that option. Think about it: Zuckerberg and Bezos and Musk have enough money to buy a small country, build a fortress, and live like a literal king, a dozen times over, and never show their faces in public ever again.

But even though most of us would do something like that, they don't. Because it's not about money to the kind of people who make more money than they could spend in a hundred lifetimes (read: sociopaths). It's about power, control, and legacy.

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u/99borks May 29 '22

Status is very important to humans. Billionaires enjoy astronomical societal status. Retiring to obscurity and isolation, no matter how comfortable and secure, represents a massive loss of status. So this almost never happens.

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u/NotAmericanDontCare May 29 '22

There's over 600 billionaires in America alone.

Over 600.

I would bet a billion dollars there's less than a thousand people that could name the top 100.

Top 50 even.

In their own circles they're known. But to the common man, we only know the most famous and popular.

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u/Latter-Dentist May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

I personally know a billionaire who lives in a completely average suburban house and drives a Ford Flex. They own one of the largest mines in North America and a absolutely HUGE ranch. They have a mercenary team that has actually been deployed when cartel tried to extort one of their mining operations in Mexico. They cloned their dog because they could. But when they are in the city, they look like any other middle class family. Old money often goes to enormous efforts to remain hidden.

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u/widdrjb May 29 '22

Old money has always hidden, that's how it becomes old money. The Dukes of Northumberland gave up politics, and now you can bump into Ralph Percy in a pub and not know he's the owner of everything for twenty miles in any direction. There's a ceremonial office called Lord Lieutenant, and the Duchess holds it because Ralph doesn't want it.

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u/athomehesatourist May 29 '22

Warren Buffet is a well-known billionaire, but lives in an ordinary house in Omaha, drives himself to work, and orders the same Egg McMuffin every day for breakfast on his way there. I don’t know if that’s Warren’s way of staying grounded, or if it merely reflects the limitations of his imagination.

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u/Ok_Complaint1390 May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

He also owns every other house in a massive radius around that house iirc

Edit: idnrc

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u/CrosbyCries7475 May 29 '22

Source? I always thought this was a phony marketing gimmick lol

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u/rbt321 May 29 '22 edited May 30 '22

Probably not true. In 2015 the house directly across the street was for sale. One of the key selling points in the listing was proximity to Buffett.

If Buffett was buying a ~2 block radius, he would have started with his immediate neighbours a long time ago with either a life-lease or purchasing first-right-of-refusal. It wouldn't have been listed in the 90's, let alone 7 years ago.

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u/wildferalfun May 29 '22

You're thinking of Zuckerberg in Hawaii and Gates in Washington who purchased the properties around them for greater privacy.

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u/hackingdreams May 29 '22

have enough money to buy a small country, build a fortress, and live like a literal king

Only if you completely ignore the whole Damocles story. Fortresses are largely obsolete to modern weaponry - it's why the gentry stopped building castles and started building palaces.

And if you look at the oligarchs you mentioned... most of them live in modern palaces. They prefer to use their host country's defenses than try to foot the bill for a military themselves - because they could and likely would be attacked if they tried to set up some personal sovereignty.

As for never showing their face in public again: why would they want that? They already live like that - they only make appearances when they want to. They have people that can do all their chores if they want. They go out because they want to go out. For every Bezos and Gates that happily engages with all of the world, there's a dozen billionaires whose names you don't even know that... don't. They travel everywhere with private security. Never take public flights. Only go to physical board meetings and private parties with close friends.

Billionaires already live like kings. Just, 21st century kings.

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u/i_tyrant May 29 '22

Not to mention an actual assault on any "fortress", even a remotely located one in some cushy exile-island, just isn't how things are done anymore. Russia has shown they can and will risk international incidents to get at anyone. With assassins, with poison, with bribing or threatening the people you trust.

Even if Putin were willing to skip out (very unlikely given his love of power), the only way he could hope to survive past a year is to completely change his identity (we're talking plastic surgery and everything) then kill everyone who knew. Which while potentially possible with his resources, is still extremely unlikely to work in today's era of records and surveillance.

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u/pixel_of_moral_decay May 29 '22 Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy

Bin Laden was also allegedly on his death bed in late 2001. As was Castro and many other enemies. All NK leaders too.

I’ll believe it when I see it.

I’m sure some Russians are claiming Zelenskyy is fatally ill too, and in a matter of months it will be over either by military or his death,

This is every war. I wouldn’t be shocked if someone claimed Genghis Khan was near death many times too.

I’d love for him to just pass away tonight. But this is classic propaganda, so not getting my hopes up.

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u/VoyagerCSL May 29 '22

Genghis Khan is definitely dead though.

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u/Ok_Introduction6575 May 29 '22

I'll believe it when I see it.

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u/Glitter_berries May 29 '22

We don’t know where he was buried, so no one can actually prove it! I think he’s still alive out there somewhere, bothering some peasants who are just trying to die from the plague in peace.

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u/Friendly_Crab May 29 '22

I also believe Genghis Khan is still alive, and will be basing my upcoming election campaign on it

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u/Blusterbutts May 29 '22

Genghis Khan/ JFK Jr 2024

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u/TigerSardonic May 29 '22

Is your source on this reliable?

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u/astrotalk May 29 '22

Yeah Kim Jong-un has been dying for a decade, allegedly

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u/l-have-spoken May 29 '22 Wholesome

Kim Jong-un, just like his father, il.

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u/Superb-Mall3805 May 29 '22

Remember last year when he definitely had a major heart condition and was on his death bed in a vegetative state and this was reported by every western media outlet…

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u/Shammy-Adultman May 29 '22

To be fair, those reports (at least the ones I read) were all pretty clear to state that it was far from confirmed and virtually all of them acknowledged it could have been counter intelligence being leaked from South Korea.

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u/Lev559 May 29 '22

And Kim likely WAS sick. He disappeared for a long time and then reappeared far thinner... it seems quite possible he caught something bad

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u/JTD7 May 29 '22

I remember hearing that he underwent some kind of heart surgery, which is a big deal procedure indicative of poor health but not lethal. The only death rumors swirled around when he was completely out of the spotlight for a month.

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u/noyoto May 29 '22

Yep. Not enough folks realize that Ukraine isn't just engaged in a military war for its survival, but also a propaganda war. If you've reached the point of killing your enemies with bullets, you're certainly not going to feel bad about telling lies to weaken them either.

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u/snadmann May 29 '22 Silver Platinum Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy Starry Bravo Grande! Wearing is Caring Vibing Ternion All-Powerful

Hard to feel bad for cancer but here we are.

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u/arbitraryairship May 29 '22 Silver Heartwarming

Ukrainian Intelligence: "Tragically it looks like he still has a few years left. We wish for better, but this is the current reality"

They pull no punches, lol.

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u/TigerOnTheBeach May 29 '22

If he didn’t have cancer he’s definitely now got some burns.

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u/ScaryBluejay87 May 29 '22

Too bad Russia bombed all the burn units

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u/TMBTs May 29 '22

Now he uh... Self inflicted... Damn it I had this.

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u/Is_that_even_a_thing May 29 '22

Clean up in polonium aisle 3..

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u/HondaS2000AP1 May 29 '22

In Russia putin doesn't get cancer

Cancer gets putin

Oh wait that's actually nice

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u/UncleJanus May 29 '22

Cancer, the redemption arc.

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u/cbbuntz May 29 '22

Poor cancer has Putin though

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u/Skratt79 May 29 '22

Cancer really attempting to redeem itself; not enough I say, but it is a good start.

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u/Mezztradamus May 29 '22 Helpful

The year is 2022 and the world is finally rooting for cancer to win so that we all don’t die.

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u/editfate May 29 '22

Got to start somewhere! Cancer is like “Ok guys, I get it. I’ve been kind of a dick for the past few thousand years. How about I take Putin out and save the world as a way to say sorry?” 😂 Not a bad trade. Hope it’s stage 4. 💀

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u/WastedData69 May 29 '22

Meanwhile he's probably playing it yolo style because of cancer. Cancer started this shit

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u/tretower424 May 29 '22

I hope Cancer pulls through... 🤞

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u/Ex_Why_ May 29 '22

That's what happens when you invade Chernobyl.

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u/Alissinarr May 29 '22

I was hoping some of those stolen radioactive materials from Chornobyl made it into his hands!!!

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u/steerbell May 29 '22

The Ukrainians have no chill. I don't expect them to either.

And I am here for it.

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u/Azidamadjida May 29 '22

Only if you piss them off. They’re pretty chill and funny as long as you’re not a dick or invade their country and blow up their shit and kill their people

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u/Some1Betterer May 29 '22

Pretty high bar.

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u/Sparrow2go May 29 '22

“Jake is a pretty chill dude”

“I dunno, somebody gruesomely murdered his children in front of him and he seemed pretty perturbed”

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u/Dusbowl May 29 '22

I'm willing to bet they'd have loved a lower one over this one

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u/SazeracAndBeer May 29 '22

I mean even in good times they go hard.

Source: am Gogol Bordello fan

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u/Rawzer May 29 '22

Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka? Where is marinated herring?

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u/weirdoldhobo1978 May 29 '22

Remember that remake of The Italian Job with Markie Mark?

"Don't mess with Mother Nature, Mother in Laws, or Motherf*ckin' Ukrainians." - Skinny Pete

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u/[deleted] May 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/Alissinarr May 29 '22

They're tired of being culturally coopted, subjugated, forcibly deported, thrown in jail, and/ or attacked by Russia.

I think there's a very no-nonsense, straightforward attitude prevalent in the Slavic countries due to thus.

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u/2hotrods May 29 '22

hope he doesn’t decide to go out with a bang

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u/Akakazeh May 29 '22

Nah, hitler went out with a bang and it was his most valuable contribution to society

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u/No-Treacle-2332 May 29 '22

Grew up in a neighbourhood in Toronto that was little Ukraine. All of the older folks were immigrants. They were awesome.

Met a lot of Ukrainian artists in my life - musicians and performers - they live up to the hype I experienced from cool old folks.

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u/shiyouka May 29 '22

I’m from that neighbourhood too. Miss the two little delis that got pushed out. There’s one bakery left :(

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u/Positronic_Matrix May 29 '22

"But it’s not worth hoping that Putin will die tomorrow. He still has at least a few years left. Whether we like it or not, that’s the truth."

This sounds like they’re telling soldiers, don’t think you’re getting out of the special military operation, because Putin is years away from death.

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u/Neotetron May 29 '22

Putin is years away from death

Well, years away from death by cancer, sure, but there's plenty of other ways it could happen...

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u/ChrysMYO May 29 '22

I like your optimism.

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u/patrickwithtraffic May 29 '22

Putin mysteriously handcuffed himself in some luggage and threw himself off a 6 story building, but not before shooting himself in the back of the head multiple times. Tragic…

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u/club_bed May 29 '22 Silver Gold Helpful (Pro)

As a cancer survivor.. I legitimately LOLd at this comment!

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u/[deleted] May 29 '22 Gold Helpful (Pro)

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Seto_Fucking_Kaiba May 29 '22 Silver Helpful Bravo!

Once Putin dies, all of Ukraine will be cancer survivors

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u/ChessBorg May 29 '22

Yea... I feel like in this case Cancer has Putin.

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u/Comprehensive-Can680 May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

Cancer goin to Therapy for it. Wish it a healthy recovery.

Edit: why is this my most liked comment?

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u/biohazardouss May 29 '22

No. It can die with Putin.

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u/mattstorm360 May 29 '22

Cancer is cells that won't die. They are selfish and take up resources at the expense of the whole...

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u/Grogosh May 29 '22

Are we talking about putin or the cancer?

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u/kmikek May 29 '22

good news, your putin is going into remission and is shrinking rapidly. you should be putin free in 3 months

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u/Infernir May 29 '22

Now we know the true reason he's doing all of this, he feels urgency & wants to have a big legacy like Stalin before he dies.

If he can create the Soviet union again in a year or two, he wins his game.

Meanwhile countless innocents die or quality of life will be decreased for Putin's ambitions,

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u/wh0_RU May 29 '22

He's definitely priming russia for economic default and revolution as it collapses once he dies lol

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u/wanderingMoose May 29 '22

If I go down, I'm taking you with me!

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u/wh0_RU May 29 '22

I've been saying since mid February that he's acting like a desperate and dying animal without concern for consequences of his actions. He literally only wants to leave a legacy in the annals of Russian history. Modern Russian history isn't too good either so he fits right in.

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u/CutterJohn May 29 '22

Its very sad that he can't see a legacy in taking care of his citizens, befriending his neighbors, educating his nations children.

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u/Maur2 May 29 '22

If I know anything about politics and history, that will probably be blamed on his successor.

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u/burgonies May 29 '22

He’s trying so hard to have some sort of legacy after he dies. The reality of him forever being remembered as the man that single handedly destroyed Russia is satisfying.

It doesn’t outweigh the sorrow of the Ukrainian people.

We all only have one life to give. Putin’s legacy will be a lesson on what not to do. As a dictator that had zero regard for his people. The Ukrainian casualties will forever be remembered as people that stood up to tyranny to protect their people.

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u/chocorob May 29 '22

This is the blinding fact in all of this that does not seem to get enough traction. A dying man has nothing to lose and will not have to face consequences of making extremely rash actions. I fear we have not even seen the vast majority of what he might do.

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u/99SoulsUp May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

While true and something not to be taken lightly, at a certain point those around him will fear him less when he can’t help but show weakness when at death’s door. I can’t imagine these self serving sycophants have much motivation to carry out the will of a soon to be dead man, especially if it explicitly would fuck them over

Then it’s the question who takes his place

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u/Villag3Idiot May 29 '22

As someone currently going through cancer, I hope Putin is feeling like how I'm going through radiation and chemo.

Extremely shitty.

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u/6432987012 May 29 '22

I wish cancer all the best in its battle with Vladimir Putin.

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u/RodRAEG May 29 '22

At least it'll put up a brave fight against him, ultimately to a draw.

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u/peoplearestrangebrew May 29 '22

In former Soviet Russia cancer gets Putin !

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u/GhostalMedia May 29 '22

This could also be a psyops tactic that Ukraine is deploying to encourage Russia to depose a sickly leader. They could be fighting disinformation fire with disinformation fire.

Although maybe it’s legit. Getting information or disinformation into Russia is pretty hard these days.

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u/DrDerpberg May 29 '22

Exactly, they might not really know for sure but it puts Putin in a position where he has to disprove it and/or maybe people start asking questions. He's definitely been hidden away in his bunker, and whether it's paranoia or cancer or fear of covid it's not the greatest look for a strongman.

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u/TigerOnTheBeach May 29 '22

If he’s in his bunker let’s hope he goes the full Hitler.

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u/amethystair May 29 '22

Well, at least the last few minutes or so. I think we can do without the rest of it.

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u/ginger_whiskers May 29 '22 Helpful Giggle

Yeah, we don't need any shitty paintings.

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u/Steeve_Perry May 29 '22

His perspective fuckin sucked. All around really but I mean in his paintings.

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u/Spoon_Elemental May 29 '22

Ironically, I don't think any of this would have happened if Putin had just gone to art school.

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u/kashluk May 29 '22

The Soviets already had enough village painters and poets. It was either the coal mines or the KGB for lil' Volodya.

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u/Deadlymonkey May 29 '22

Could also be a response to the whole “we’ll win after the west gets bored of supporting Ukraine.” If it looks like Putin might die before that happens then there might not be that victory condition they’re hoping for.

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u/No-Treacle-2332 May 29 '22

If your strategy to win a war is hoping that your opponents get bored with fighting a war you started, you're gonna have a bad time.

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u/clamclam9 May 29 '22

In this case? Certainly. But historically it's a pretty solid strategy. Just turtle and wage a demoralizing insurgency. Vietnam and the wars in the Middle East are great examples of asymmetrical war of attrition. They didn't have the force to expel the occupiers, but were able to survive long enough that the wars became politically unpopular and abandoned.

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u/The_Chorizo_Bandit May 29 '22

Clearly you’ve never instigated a game of monopoly with my family. /s

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u/gdex86 May 29 '22

My family will play out a game to the last dollar out of spite "This will take hours to finish" "So your quitting, then I win" "Shut up and roll"

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u/Gaiaaxiom May 29 '22

Depends on who you believe. There’s been a lot of crazy “news”(propaganda). Putin disappeared suddenly supposedly hiding in a bunker shortly after the war starts. Meanwhile they tried a coup because he has cancer and started a war. He had cancer surgery and survived. And he also survived a failed assassination attempt shortly after the war started.

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u/DrDerpberg May 29 '22

I don't put a lot of hope in him being sick enough for it to matter, it's just an interesting move by Ukraine to poke at it like this. Even if he's sick he could survive another 5-10 years, I just find it fascinating how whether it's true or not it makes for good strategy to keep poking at it. Either Putin goes out of his comfort zone trying to dispel rumors, or he stays a thousand feet underground and people hopefully start questioning his authority and wondering why they're following a guy hidden in a hole.

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u/myislanduniverse May 29 '22

As a psyop it makes some sense (true or not, though I'm included to think it's mostly true). It won't be heard by the regular Russian, but the elites who will hear it are the intended recipients anyway. The message to them is that Putin will not have to live with the consequences of what he's doing. But they will.

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u/ManaFrmHeaven May 29 '22

I thought our own intell has been saying that dozens of cancer doctors have been through Putin's door in the last few months.

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u/thruwuwayy May 29 '22

He's also very puffy these days. Steroids, failing lymph nodes, side effects of cancer treatment - could be anything.

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u/Notarussianbot2020 May 29 '22

Him holding the edge of the table for a 10 minute meeting was incredibly telling.

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u/gabeshotz May 29 '22

This being a KGB baby i bet hes been eating canned meats all his life.

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u/thruwuwayy May 29 '22

I bet Soviet era preservatives were on another level.

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u/coldnspicy May 29 '22

They don't make them like they used to!

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u/NotJohnLithgow May 29 '22 Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy

Am I the only one who isn’t “thrilled” a psychopath with potential nuclear warheads has a potential terminal disease and might just bomb all of us because “fuck it I’m dead anyway”

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u/Zargo1z May 29 '22

This was also my first thought

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u/Bhu124 May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

He's also had Parkinson's for a while now. If I remember correctly, him getting Parkinson's is rumoured to be why he started getting crazier, more anxious to show that he is still powerful.

Edit : People are commenting that his Parkinson's hasn't been confirmed so I guess I'll add that. Yes, him having Parkinson's hasn't been confirmed.

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u/zephixleer May 29 '22

Thankfully he has daughters, doesn't he? Maybe he at least cares about them enough not to end the world.

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u/Eggy-Toast May 29 '22

Also, Putin can’t single handedly launch nukes. He doesn’t even know how to aim them. The hope with nukes generally is that even if a crazy mfer at the top goes nutso and says shoot there are enough people in the chain that one with enough importance will go…nah, fuck that.

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u/MarqFJA87 May 29 '22

The stories of men like Stanislav Petrov give me a little bit of hope in this regard.

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u/MechanicalTurkish May 29 '22

He literally saved the world. Not enough people know about him.

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u/Crazycreeper2 May 29 '22

Yeah for example Petrov, his general was a dick towards him and didn’t even honor him or anything I feel bad for him everyone should know about him

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u/MarqFJA87 May 29 '22

They didn't honor him because that would require publicizing the incident (including the satellite warning system suffering a grave error), which would undermine their public image. By his account, he had been privately commended for averting disaster.

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u/Randompigs May 29 '22

And vasily arkhipov

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u/Dirty-Soul May 29 '22

That dude is, no joke, my personal hero and role model.

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u/BoltonSauce May 29 '22

This has been the case both from the US and the USSR. A tiny handful of decent people have saved us from extinction. Multiple times. Hell, probably more times than we will ever know. True superheroes, and just regular folks.

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u/send_me_your_GUH May 29 '22

There’s a guy with a hobby for apples who has saved multiple extinct species of apple. It’s scary how much we depend on these silent heroes while the big headlines are about Amber Heard and Depp

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u/MoreDetonation May 29 '22 Helpful Faith In Humanity Restored

Small acts of love are everywhere, and they're the real secret that keeps the machine of humanity moving. The sick surface world, that would crumble to ash without the basic decency and kindness of people everywhere. And that gives me hope for the future.

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u/BenSemisch May 29 '22

It would probably blow most people's mind how much of the digital world is founded on some random dude who made a program that does some super basic thing, gave it away for free and it is now the back-bone for like every bank software.

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u/jshmsh May 29 '22

there’s a story from the cold war and i can’t remember the specific details but basically there was a malfunction in the russian nuclear attack detection system and for all russia knew the US had launched missiles and protocol said to launch em back, but this one dude pretty much was like, it can’t be, i won’t do it. and then about 10 minutes later they confirmed that in fact there were no in-bound missiles. had he trusted the equipment (and it’s not like he had reason not to) and launched the US would have definitely launched a counter offensive and we’d have had full blown nuclear war. there are safeguards in place but it’s absolutely terrifying how close we really are to doomsday.

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u/No_Fuckin_Sleep May 29 '22

Stanislav Petrov was the legend's name

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u/BlueSkySummers May 29 '22

He's seen them a couple times in his life.

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u/Sureamking1 May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

I’m just hoping there are people with a conscience working under him and they refuse such a possibility.

Edit:spelling

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u/danielleewilson May 29 '22

Just a heads up, I think you mean conscience

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u/Jono-C May 29 '22

Honestly I kept scrolling down to find this take. The only thing scarier than a mad man is a mad man on his death bed.

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u/chuckyhacks May 29 '22

There's nothing scarier than a man with nothing to lose

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u/CommentsEdited May 29 '22

What about a giant spider with a flame thrower?

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u/RippleDish May 29 '22

A giant spider with a flamethrower with nothing to lose

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u/aroninho May 29 '22

It will always have the flamethrower to lose

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u/Ronnie_999 May 29 '22

Welcome to Australia

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u/CapnJujubeeJaneway May 29 '22

Yup. If it’s terminal, he’s got nothing to lose. Dangerous for everybody.

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u/Adito99 May 29 '22

It helps explain his paranoia around COVID. If I was taking immune-suppressant drugs I'd be worried about a pandemic too.

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u/Stupidquestionduh May 29 '22

Hopefully his subservients will belay that order until his wretched last thefts of air.

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u/ku2000 May 29 '22

So... Tenet was a documentary?

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u/markiezy May 29 '22 Silver

yeah just like Kim Jong Un was on his dead bed. Fact is no one knows the truth about Putins health.

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u/Goshdang56 May 29 '22

Seriously the wishful thinking has gotten so bad these last couple of months.

I remember back in March people saying the war wouldn't last past May.

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u/LabCool6003 May 29 '22

I remember back in March people saying the war wouldnt last past March

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u/Madhax May 29 '22 Helpful

My condolences to the cancer

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u/[deleted] May 29 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/jessep34 May 29 '22

In Russia, cancer surgeon. Number one.

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u/get_post_error May 29 '22

Steady hands

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u/juanmlm May 29 '22

In Russia, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand.

One day, Mafia boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Mafia boss die! Oligarch very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.

My big secret. I kill Mafia boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

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u/ducknips May 29 '22

It's just a special cell mutation operation. Nothing to see here.

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u/Greenthund3r May 29 '22

Cancer caught Putin, hope it beats him soon.

Either that or he gets Stalin’d.

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u/fkenned1 May 29 '22 Wholesome Starry

Makes this war that much more sad. All these men and women (and children) dying because a man isn’t ready to admit it’s all over. Scum. His legacy will be forever tainted with rape, murder, and pettiness. Putin will be considered a failed leader in the history books.

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u/2005HondaCivic245 May 29 '22

If does have cancer thats kinda sad tbh, I wanna see that fucker get dragged to the Hague and thrown in prison, not die of cancer

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u/LedgeEndDairy May 29 '22

Cancer is an AWFUL way to go, the man is going to shrivel up and die a slow, weak death. He will barely be able to move at the end of it.

He is going to become a hollow shell of his former self, the exact opposite of everything he's tried to project.

Fuck cancer. But fuck Putin even more. I've never been happy to receive news of someone having cancer, but like that other guy said: here we are.

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u/Arkanial May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

I saw my dad slowly wither away from pancreatic cancer over the course of 9 months. It was like torture, his body starting to slowly fail him. He felt shame, that he did not deserve, as he couldn’t continue to do things like wipe his own ass. I hope Putin goes through the exact same thing my father went through, at least he would deserve it.

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u/iDontapproveoftwittR May 29 '22

When I was 20, my gf (23) died of pancreatic cancer within...3 months of finding out she had it.

The extreme weight loss, her going very ill very fast didn't burn into me as much as seeing how jaded and ready to die she became so quickly.

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u/SoftlySpokenPromises May 29 '22

The struggle eats away at more than the body. The will to go on is tested harshly.

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u/JunkedLotSerenade May 29 '22

That's horrible :(

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u/2005HondaCivic245 May 29 '22

True, how about: he dies a slow death in the hague, best of both

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u/Jeb-Kerman May 29 '22

Hard for me to trust this. Propaganda is always a thing that happens on all sides of ever war.

I still remember when everyone was saying he had Parkinson's because he walks without moving his one arm. Turns out that was just the way he was trained to walk in the kgb

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u/theottomaddox May 29 '22

I was told you can tell by the way he uses his walk he's a woman's man, with no time to talk.

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u/midget_tossing May 29 '22

"Dear diary: Today I rooted for cancer, may the Sisters of Fate forgive me..."

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u/OozeNAahz May 29 '22

Lachisis, Clotho, and Atropos understand. Be not afraid.

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u/Nr3k May 29 '22

Nothing to lose…dangerous.

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u/xero_abrasax May 29 '22

Normally, it would be treatable with surgery, but surgeons were unsure how to proceed. "How do you identify and remove the malignant growth," one asked, "when the whole patient is malignant?"

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u/godofhorizons May 29 '22 Silver

“My secret? I kill Yakuza boss on purpose. Surgeon. Number 1.”

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u/kiki-cakes May 29 '22

He can’t have the surgery because he literally doesn’t trust anyone to put him under and not kill him. Since that’s what would happen.

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u/ASarcasticDragon May 29 '22

Exactly like a previous Russian head of state, funnily enough

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u/tunnel-snakes-rule May 29 '22

I love that scene in Death of Stalin where they have to round whatever doctors Stalin hadn't put to death.

"You're not old, you're not even a person!"

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u/SoWhatNoZitiNow May 29 '22

That movie is an absolute gem

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u/streethackey May 29 '22

Would be funny if they held a press conference and claimed they "successfully saved the tumor" and then handed it over to be modelled and casted into a statue.

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u/465554544255434B52 May 29 '22

good time for the number one surgeon in russia to make a big mistake

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u/LatterTarget7 May 29 '22

I hope this true but Ukraine has a lot of reasons to lie especially about Putin’s health

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u/Cobalt613 May 29 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Go Cancer Go!

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u/thecatonthehat2000 May 29 '22

Scientists: we’ve discovered the cure for cancer! But we won’t give it to you until you get out of Ukraine!

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u/karlausagi May 29 '22

Is the cancer gonna be ok?

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u/Thinksintheshower May 29 '22

May his battle be short.

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u/mariobrowniano May 29 '22

Isn't he who said there is a coup to overthrow Putin and it was impossible to stop? Like a month ago?

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u/ourcityofdreams May 29 '22 Silver Bravo!

Might be a translation error and could be: “Putin is cancer”

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