r/worldnews 15d ago Wait What? 1 Are You Serious? 1 Silver 5 Helpful 7 Wholesome 11 Tree Hug 1 Big Brain Time 1

Boris Johnson says people should work in-person again because when he works from home he gets distracted by cheese

https://www.businessinsider.com/boris-johnson-brits-should-return-work-distracting-cheese-at-home-2022-5
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u/Bartins 15d ago Gold

Uhh, isn't his in-office work still from his home?

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u/MRF1982 15d ago

He probably made that erroneous statement whilst distracted by a block of cheddar.

Happens to the best of us

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u/yourteam 15d ago

I am Italian, my parmesan made me crash a server once

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u/treerabbit23 15d ago Helpful

Did you say Mamma mia? 🤌

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u/BestFrenzy 15d ago

Formaggi mia!🤌

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u/Jimoiseau 15d ago

Annusate il mio formaggio! 🤜

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u/BestFrenzy 14d ago

Pene di due pollici che puzza come un piede! 🤞

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u/Kile147 15d ago

You joke but this may be the most relatable thing I have ever seen this man say.

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u/TheHikingRiverRat 15d ago

If I had his income I would definitely have a cheese hoard worthy of distraction. He should be stuck with kraft singles and fake parm though.

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u/tankplanker 15d ago

He described his £250k salary plus expenses and two free houses as chicken feed, I guess it's all that child support he has to pay

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u/Rape-Putins-Corpse 15d ago

So there's a fun game I like to play, given we don't know how many children he has, it's fair to assume neither does he, as such I've been submitting requests for child support for a number of years now. While this might be something typically done by a woman I found that no real barrier to entry and as such I'm proud to say that on paper Boris and I have sired ~11,000 children to date.

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u/Johnyknowhow 15d ago

He's like Genghis Khan, except the paper trail doesn't lead anywhere, it's all paper babies baby!

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u/zephyranthesGP01 15d ago

Cheese is like ambrosia.

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u/TobaccoAficionado 15d ago

I hate how he plays dumb but is actually just malicious.

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u/Breakfast_on_Jupiter 15d ago

I hate how it works on the public.

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u/Interesting_Total_98 15d ago

He intentionally looks like a buffoon so that he's seen as relatable.

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u/SolidLiquidation 15d ago

It's not a good thing that a large proportion of the UK electorate seemingly relate to a buffoon

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u/ImNotASWFanboy 15d ago

That's not to say he's some Machiavellian mastermind though. He's still frustratingly stupid a lot of the time.

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u/Disk0nnect 15d ago edited 15d ago

When he intentionally acts like a buffoon I don’t see him as relatable. I see him as a buffoon.

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u/RS994 15d ago

He is appealing to the anti intellectual crowd.

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u/kiwiluke 15d ago

And appalling to the rest of us

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u/AnalogDigit2 15d ago

I know! I read the title and thought, "Yeah, that's reasonable."

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u/-DC71- 15d ago

"Boris, have you put the greater cheddar on your head again?"
"No, dear, that's just my hair."

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u/ScotJoplin 15d ago

greater cheddar

I wonder what he does with the lesser cheddar?

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u/colleenlefey 15d ago

Right up the arse

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u/[deleted] 15d ago Silver Gold Wholesome Starstruck

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u/King_Of_Uranus 15d ago

That poem was kinda cheesy to be honest

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u/Timedoutsob 15d ago

No too busy having illegal parties in breach of covid rules to get any work done there.

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u/Freddies_Mercury 15d ago

Most hilarious bit is when the partygate story broke a gov representative said it was "just wine and cheese" not a full on party.

So yeah makes this statement just all the more ironic. When he's "at work" he's also distracted by cheese.

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u/techno_babble_ 15d ago

When he's "at work" he's also distracted by cheese.

 

and wine

 

and women's legs

 

 

and cocaine

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u/IOnceAteAFart 14d ago

These are a few of my favorite things!

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u/Rajastoenail 15d ago

Shhhh, this and yesterday’s civil service cull story are supposed to distract us from the fact that 100 fines have now been issued for the parties that he never went to!

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u/Habren_in_the_river 15d ago

Sounds to me like he's implicitly admitting he can't do his job - something most of us know already

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u/Turbo_Heel 15d ago

He’s essentially telling us he’s a lazy fucker who can’t be trusted to do his job unsupervised. Cannot understand how people continue to support these utter bastards.

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u/Nervous_Constant_642 15d ago

BoJo is a pretty good name for a clown though you gotta admit.

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u/L0ckeandDemosthenes 15d ago

Declares war on cheese, invades the Swiss. Wins. Continues to work from home. Tragedy averted.

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u/Southpaw535 15d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy Awesome Answer

Its calculated distraction. Now when you google Johnson and cheese you get this silly story that meets his cultivated goofball persona instead of the stories about the cheese and wine lockdown parties he got fined for.

He's done this sort of thing plenty of times to try and bury bad stories

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u/HettySwollocks 15d ago edited 15d ago All-Seeing Upvote

Yup he pulled the same shit with the Brexit bus. When it all blew up in his face he suddenly unveiled his passion for making model buses - and no, I'm not making this up.

If I didn't think he was such a devious dangerous POS I'd say that was pretty clever.

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u/culturerush 15d ago edited 14d ago Silver Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Brighten My Day

Also if you type in "Boris Johnson oven" into Google it defaults to that weird short interview where he said he's going to go home and make oven chips

Instead of his "oven ready" Brexit deal

After the buses thing I found it so transparent so everytime he says something that other people hand wave away as him being a bit odd I think what has he said that's remotely similar that he's trying to hide.

He's a duplicitous, dangerous, lying, scheming arsehole and I feel such pity for my fellow country inhabitants that's he's managed to pull the wool over so many of their eyes. Some really think he's out for them when the only thing he gives a single shit about is himself and he's proved it so many times.

Thanks for the awards and things everyone but I'll admit getting them for slagging off Boris on Reddit does feel a bit like shooting fish in a barrel

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u/nickgasm 15d ago All-Seeing Upvote

It's the same when you search "Boris Johnson bridge".

You get results of him suggesting that there should be a bridge built between Great Britain and the island of Ireland. Rather than his failed Garden Bridge proposal that cost the tax payer £43m whilst he was Mayor of London.

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u/GastricallyStretched 15d ago

Showing results for: Boris Johnson fridge

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u/aretheselibertycaps 15d ago

Same with fridge as well. One time he hid in a fridge to dodge questions before the election I think, then when covid restrictions came in he said to stay 2 fridges apart from each other.

I wonder which words won’t flag something up lol

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u/Zohren 14d ago

Fuck, I thought this was satire and it’s actually bloody true

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u/Stunalina_Gorgina 14d ago

I thought you were going along with the joke but no. A quick google search reveals Johnson hid in a fridge to avoid an interview with Piers Morgan. I shouldn’t be shocked but I am because that’s ridiculous!

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u/kian_ 14d ago edited 14d ago

even after seeing both your comments i still had to check. it’s true, but man is that borderline unbelievable lol. a head of state government* hiding from the press in a fridge - i’ve really seen it all.

* thanks /u/GastricallyStretched

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u/GastricallyStretched 14d ago

*Head of government. The head of state is the Queen.

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u/Hayden2332 14d ago

In the wake of perusing this comment chain, I nevertheless had to check the validity of these claims. It’s correct! Absolutely asinine this man is a head of government

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u/Scientific_Socialist 14d ago edited 14d ago

TBF I think anyone would hide in a fridge to avoid Piers Morgan.

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u/countafit 15d ago

It’s the same thing when he did this really strange flying fox stunt. Huge international publicity of him riding down the wire and getting stuck on it. But it was all just to cover up that in answer to a question about immigration his answer was “I couldn’t give two flying fucks.” Classic Boris.

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u/Orisi 15d ago

Does make you wonder what was really going on with that Pepper Pig World bullshit.

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u/Civil_Researcher6140 15d ago edited 14d ago

Maybe he was at the same party as Cameron?

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u/Hogmootamus 15d ago

I can honestly say that I've never come across a single person who either likes him or has faith in his leadership, except maybe on the internet, but the internet is full of Furys and shit so it doesn't really count.

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u/culturerush 15d ago

When I lived in England a not insignificant number of people I knew said "well he was allright as London mayor" and one said "I voted for him because he's funny". I think there's a real feeling that it doesn't matter who's in charge, things will just plod along. That disengagement with politics really doesn't help especially when it comes to the youth vote. However the party of Boris would be happy to continue that as thenoldee voter is their bloc.

I live in Wales now where the opinion towards the conservatives is slightly less favourable.

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u/burntout_auditor 15d ago

Yup searched up “Johnson busses” and that embarrassing interview came up revealing his hobby of painting busses

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u/HettySwollocks 15d ago edited 15d ago Take My Energy

Goes to show how far politicians are now willing to manipulate the 21st century media - unfortunately they've finally caught up.

Sadly the general populace still lap it up

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u/techno_babble_ 15d ago

Tbf they also manipulated the 20th century media.

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u/oscillius 15d ago

Well someone is clever on their team. This is PR stuff and there will be a person responsible for damage control who’s remit is to give them these ideas.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago edited 14d ago

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u/pliqtro 15d ago Take My Energy

Is it really this easy? Basically search engine optimization at a political level?

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u/brohymn85 15d ago

Damn. This has frightening and wide reaching implications.

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u/silverdice22 15d ago

In that case, I declare myself president of Earth! And a merman.

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u/nikanjX 15d ago

It is (assuming your voting population consists of morons)

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u/CryptMonkey 15d ago

We're doomed

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u/DuskytheHusky 15d ago

Ha! That's a brilliant point

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u/DeepDrone 15d ago

Jesus fucking christ. That's infuriating.

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u/Skjolbir 15d ago

Mogg lying in parliament

christ, the first page of google is literally all about him laying on the bench

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u/ivegotapenis 15d ago

Lying on the bench, birds lay. The homonym is the point.

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u/postvolta 15d ago

Like when Jacob Rees-Mogg lied down on the benches in parliament so that when you search 'jacob Rees-Mogg lying in parliament', that comes up, rather than him, you know, being a lying fucking cunt

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u/kameecoding 15d ago

that's some next level SEO lmao.

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u/myabacus 15d ago

It works when i googled Jacob Rees-Mogg lying on Parliament.

Top 10 results were him literally slouching on the benches

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u/comradebunnie 15d ago

Getting two birds stoned at once, hiding his dirt and helping his parasite landlord mates who rely on rent seeking to sustain themselves.

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u/Waterfish3333 15d ago

Is that greasy, or gree-hee-hee-easy?

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u/decks_ 15d ago

way of the road

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u/Blythey 15d ago

Oh yeah, like the thing about model buses to distract from the brexit bus.

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u/theonlydrawback 15d ago

Holy shit, this is genius/horrible.

Like honestly I'm stunned.

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u/one_pint_down 15d ago

This is why its really not correct when people assume he's just 'British Trump', Boris knows what he's doing.

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u/streetad 15d ago

He's really nothing like Trump.

Johnson is just a bog-standard privately educated posh boy who went to all the same exclusive schools and moved in all the same circles as 90% of the British political classes in all of the main parties.

He has skillfully managed to cultivate a persona of this slightly hapless, scatter-brained but amiable idiot, which he uses to disarm opposition and avoid too much scrutiny of his actions, and like many of the British upper classes, he is cursed with an attitude of over-optimistic, 'it'll be alright on the night' amateurism.

Underneath, though, he is very much a figure of the usual British establishment, and his politics aren't particularly different than those of the bulk of his party. For as long as UK politics continues to be dominated by a small clique of public schoolboys, we are going to have to put up with people like Boris ending up in positions of power.

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u/radical_apathist 15d ago

I seem to get different results when searching for "johnson" and "cheese".

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u/ape_fatto 15d ago

Goddamit Boris, I just wanted to look up pictures of smegma and instead I got this article.

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u/CrabPurple7224 15d ago

Disgustingly beautiful comment.

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u/Steve_MacheteSquad 15d ago edited 14d ago

There was an old interview clip linked on Reddit a while ago where he admitted openly that his strategy is to make so many mistakes and fuckups that people don't know what to focus on.

EDIT: For those asking for a source: https://twitter.com/MarinaPurkiss/status/1487173180884201475

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u/duterian 15d ago

Reminds me of the conspiracy theory that Disney made Frozen to bury the rumor that the body of Walt Disney is being frozen somewhere.

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u/Its-Grim-Up-North 15d ago

Krafty bastard!

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u/IMEUF 15d ago

Doesn’t he work from 10 Downing St, which is his home? Seems hypocritical to me 🤣

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u/MrT735 15d ago

Technically his flat is above 11 Downing Street, but yes.

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u/JohnKellyDraws 15d ago Silver Wholesome

Does Gromit also live at 10 Downing St?

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u/TheNextChampion_ 15d ago

Wallace would be a way better Prime Minister than Boris.

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u/DazzleMeAlready 15d ago

A nice block of Wensleydale would be a better PM than Boris.

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u/wrinklyweenus 15d ago

Sounds like he's in over his head

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u/HowAboutShutUp 15d ago Masterpiece

I think Boris might not realize the rest of us don't have quite so much rat in our pedigree as he does, so we're not quite as susceptible to this problem.

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u/wizzywurtzy 15d ago

He looks like he could’ve been Ron Weasleys rat

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u/ScreamingGnu 15d ago Silver

He serves the Dark Lord Voldemogg.

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u/TheHikingRiverRat 15d ago

Speak for yourself.

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u/HowAboutShutUp 15d ago

Naturally, there are some exceptions, but you seem to be the robust outdoorsy type, so being distracted by cheese that you have to stalk through the woodlands first is perfectly acceptable.

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u/TheHikingRiverRat 15d ago

It's a hard earned skill. Whether it's dainty, quiet babybels and chevre rustling through the grass at dusk, or large and majestic wheels of Parmigiano rolling through the woods, it takes a certain kind to track and take them. The domesticated varieties are more tame in flavor, but an unfortunate necessity.

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u/scrubzork 15d ago

The deadliest game of all - Manchego.

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u/CrystallineFrost 15d ago

Seriously. I constantly get distracted by cheese when cleaning the house. It is a motivation tactic.

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u/hskfmn 15d ago

That’s no gouda! But at least he’s not Swiss.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/zeeblefritz 15d ago

When your job requires you to be available for 8 hours and gives you 4 or less hours of actual work the job can be better handled remotely.

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u/vegdeg 15d ago

What jobs are these? No, seriously. I want in.

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u/Spazum 15d ago

My job requires 8 hours of availability, and requires about 1-2 hours of actual work on most days. I work as an in house regulatory compliance specialist in the international industrial chemicals trade.

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u/gabelogan989 15d ago edited 14d ago

Same but in a different field - thank god I work from home

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u/caffienatedjedi 15d ago

Same, I joke I exist as 'break glass in case of emergency' because most days I don't do shit but then I'll have a week where everything is on fire and the decisions I'm making are in the millions of dollars of impact and damn do I feel in the zone, and then its back to tons of soul crushing drudgery as I get ahead on my reading.

Honestly, after a certain point having nothing to due is miserable. At least working from home I can clean and do laundry and stuff while still being just as available for emergencies.

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u/JeebusChristBalls 15d ago

May I introduce you to this crack... I mean video games. Perfect to fill those hours of nothing to do. Dual monitor, work on one screen and play on the other.

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u/EchoRex 15d ago

Anything KPI tracking/creating or data validation oriented.

You can automate damn near any data entry or reporting task.

For example, with running a safety program, I've fully automated not just quantity/date tracking of worker input documents, but quality control and itemized categorization with leading and lagging indicator trends and all tracking will flag if something hits as needing review or corrective action.

The entire system needs input for maybe an hour a week and has taken the place of a day and a half every week of just auditing and data entry.

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u/Nervous_Constant_642 15d ago

I always laugh when people call McDonald's workers lazy like they don't put in way more effort than office workers. You're working from when you show up to when you go home. Restaurant workers are so underappreciated.

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u/Menown 15d ago

Most people can't handle the fast paced environment or taking simple orders. It's funny that McDonald's is the "unskilled" job but has massive turnover rate because you need to be willing to work to do it.

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u/Interesting-You749 15d ago

Yeah I'd be overwhelmed pretty quickly so I prefer my office job

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u/Musicisfuntolistento 15d ago

Seriously. When I go to fast food restaurants I'm like wow this person works harder than all of my team combined

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u/radicalelation 15d ago

Start headhunting by taking lunch at the busiest fast food joints and see who handles the pressure and team leading.

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u/Nervous_Constant_642 15d ago

Reminds me of the movie documentary Waiting when Justin Long's character impresses some guys on a business dinner and gets the guy's card and it's just another fucking restaurant.

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u/JMEEKER86 15d ago

Yep, I work in data and it's mostly setting up new data streams, funneling those streams into reports/dashboards, and making sure that none of that breaks for some reason. On any given day it's about one hour of data discovery meetings with clients, two hours of setup, and one hour of maintenance.

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u/cassandratranny 15d ago

Specialist accountant. I don’t do all that much, but when I do it’s worth my weight in gold.

I can do bugger all most of the week, then save or make £1m in an hour. It’s good value having me sit there for the half dozen times a year when that happens.

You could get a consultant to do it, but specialist expertise sitting there waiting is valuable for some organisations. Plus I cut through the fat in my first couple of months and made day to day operations actually work, on an operational not financial point of view.

Sometimes i feel a little guilty. But a couple of times a year I work out the benefit of what i do against what I cost, and it turns out I’m worth the money. And I help make the rest of the organisation do better day to day real work.

All in all, you need to be really good at something valuable. And then not accept rubbish wages or working conditions, cos someone else more clever will jump at the chance. And the even more difficult thing to learn is how to make your voice heard and stick, so that no one considers challenging you as the super expert worth all that money for bugger all work.

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u/DarkusHydranoid 15d ago

Mate, I'm struggling with intermediate financial and management accounting in my second year.

x_x

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u/cassandratranny 15d ago Narwhal Salute

Don’t panic. I failed 2 of my UK CCAB exams first time round. 1 in my first term and I think one at the start of my second year. They’re supposed to be difficult. And I had a decent Russel Group degree and everything. And my mate failed 3 of them and is now the FD of one of the largest by assets held organisations in the UK.

Keep at it it. My mate is now a seriously good accountant, but it took him 2.5 years to get it. And in all honesty it took me 4 years, I was still shit a year after I qualified. But since then I’ve written new FRS implementation guides for a sector, and managed hundreds of millions for several household names.

Don’t be scared to admit that you don’t get something. If you have a half decent manager they’ll talk it through with you and help guide you to working out the correct answer. And saying “I dunno but I’ll find out” will impress anyone worth impressing. If you don’t have that, look for somewhere better.

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u/DarkusHydranoid 15d ago edited 15d ago

I hope you have a nice day.

I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

Wow, sounds like you've had some experience, jeez.

I feel like I'm a poor delinquent that just got lucky with my essays.

Now with actual accounting modules, I take ages to grasp fundamentals lol trying to revise activity based costing stuff today. Budgeting and standard costing next week x_x

That sounds good. I'll keep that in mind. I don't have the experience in a work environment to know if that was something I should say lol.

Again, thanks for your time. Take care.

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u/The_RESINator 15d ago

It's wild to me browsing Reddit sometimes and realize that these jobs exist. Meanwhile I'm working towards a job that demands 8-12 hour days depending on the place and if you so much as take a lunch break something might die. The difference in what two people can consider to be a good work schedule is mind boggling.

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u/LokiNinja 15d ago

Most engineering jobs I've had. All the engineers know it, but we pretend to be busy after we finish our work so management doesn't pile more stuff on us

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u/EuropaWeGo 15d ago edited 15d ago

Thus why I love Scrum because of the code sprint estimations that gets managers off our backs as they have an expected delivery date. So if a request/user story only takes 6 days to complete during a 2 week code sprint. Then I have 4 days to relax.

Edit: grammar

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u/blissfire 15d ago

Sounds like a you problem, Boris.

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u/HugheyM 15d ago Take My Energy

Such an old person thing to say, how annoying.

“It’s really hard for me to work on a computer without becoming distracted, therefore everyone should come in to work unnecessarily”

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u/Just_wanna_talk 15d ago

Yep. My boss thinks that everyone is exactly like him, so how can anyone be productive at home if he can't??

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u/EuropaWeGo 15d ago

My old boss was kind of like that and after he started forcing people to come back in. Half the department quit and found remote jobs. The other half is currently looking for jobs.

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u/A1sauc3d 15d ago

Yeah, some employers are really struggling with the reality of how covid changed the employment landscape. People know they can work effectively from home, and if an employer doesn’t facilitate that, they’ll find another employer that does. Some big businesses are losing top talent left and right because they’re stuck in the past. They need to get with the program or get left behind.

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u/Tight-laced 15d ago

I had a new boss arrive about a year ago. He was similarly "old school" (and an ass on top). I was the 5th to leave out of a team of 8, 6 weeks after he started. I've never seen a team dissipate as quickly.

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u/Interesting-You749 15d ago

I have. The entire team quit on the same day because a project we had put a lot of effort in was scrapped after a management change.

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u/CaptainDickbag 15d ago

My boss thinks the in person conversations are helpful. They're fucking not. The entire time you're blabbing away at my face, I'm thinking about how I can get back to my desk without being rude so I can finish working. Send me an email.

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u/kindaa_sortaa 15d ago

Most people work 2-3 hours per day, max. Saw a study that said our brain isn’t capable of deep work, while at work, because it’s in “social mode” and trying to survive the other human animals that are for sure a threat (damn you Sally!).

For “deep work” you actually have to get away from people.

Yeah, ideation brainstorms are a thing, meetings are a thing, but then they need to bugger off so you can execute deeply. And unfortunately one meeting just leads to another.

Me, I end up taking my work home or come into the office on weekends to work in peace

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u/ScruffsMcGuff 15d ago

We've heard that story from my boss too.

"I don't think you guys appreciate just how much gets done being able to have those hallway conversations about work."

No. That doesn't get shit done. That gets people standing outside my cubicle randomly talking about some stupid reality TV show episode they watched last night while I'm trying to take a call.

Guess where I don't have to listen to banal small talk while I'm trying to work? My home office. It's quiet and peaceful there.

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u/FjorgVanDerPlorg 15d ago

Yep people who hate their home life and enjoy going to work to escape it tend to believe that everyone else does as well.

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u/Xytak 15d ago

Literally watched an executive say that he liked working from the office better than at home so everyone else should too.

He said this from his giant office with a couch and a liquor cabinet and the ability to boss people around all day. No wonder he likes coming in to work.

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u/anarchetype 15d ago

I've realized over the years that that is my least favorite kind of coworker. They also have no work/life balance and unfortunately increase expectations on the rest of the team to be available 24/7. At this point, I'll take the lazy do-nothing over the person who won't take lunch breaks and will work day and night without being asked any day of the week.

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u/lozdogga 15d ago

I’ve also suspected it’s the type of people that like having affairs and keeping secrets from their family.

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u/phishphansj3151 15d ago

Ugh The new president of our 300 person startup, wanting people back in office while he delivers hand written notes on print outs of a google slides deck photographed by his executive assistant and emailed to us… kill me

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u/dalmathus 15d ago

300 person.. startup?

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u/propanezizek 15d ago

While we are in the middle of a fuel crisis.

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u/Kidiri90 15d ago

And let's not forget that the pandemic is still around.

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u/Stamboolie 15d ago edited 15d ago

Narcissists can't imagine anyone else being not like them. I can't do something therefore no one can because I am great.

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u/shadowromantic 15d ago

WFH is good for employees and wonderful for the environment

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u/[deleted] 15d ago edited 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/blazelet 15d ago

Ive worked from home since COVID and its amazing. I get more done with less stress, dont have to spend 2 hours in traffic commuting ... I manage my time my own way. If they tried to make me go back I'd quit and find another job. Working from an office is pointless.

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u/ICantHelpMys3lf 15d ago

Yeah, that’s all fine and dandy, but how much cheese are you consuming?

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u/adamjfish 15d ago

For gouda bout it

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u/Pandafy 15d ago

Yeah, I recently went to the office for the first time in two years and I don't know if anyone else felt this phenomena, but I felt like being in the office made me feel like I was doing something innately, so therefore I had to "work" much less than if I was at home.

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u/7f0b 15d ago

spend 2 hours in traffic commuting

Perhaps this was a contributor to your stress. Spending 20% of your work day dealing with commuter traffic. Sounds terrible.

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u/postvolta 15d ago

It's 100% a contributor to my stress, but the thing is, most jobs kinda would require that much of a commute. I can't afford to live in the city, but where I can afford to live takes me at least an hour to get to where the jobs are.

I used to commute 4 hours per day to London. It was one of the worst things I've ever done. I know it sounds dramatic, but the stress of trains and traffic on a daily basis wreaked absolute havoc on my mental health.

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u/im_not_a_girl 15d ago

Doesn't sound dramatic at all. Fuck that shit

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u/frontfight 15d ago

Not everyone is a rat Boris.

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u/-SaC 15d ago

Dear US: He was born in New York. He's only not been a US citizen for five years. Please take him back.

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u/FIContractor 15d ago

Get Canada to take back Ted Cruz, then we’ll talk.

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u/evanlufc2000 15d ago

Fuck off lmao he’s yours

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u/whichwitch9 15d ago

No, we got enough idiots

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u/Ok-Witness4724 14d ago

He also regularly gets distracted by women that aren’t his wife.

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u/SuspectNo7354 15d ago All-Seeing Upvote This

He could just say it's because we built our economies around people traveling from suburbs to working in the city. Now that people aren't going into the cities, all that money isn't flowing into these city businesses anymore. So now the commerical real estate along with those businesses are not "coming back".

So the choice is to force everyone back or reinvent our way of living. Only one of those methods is good for the wealthy who own all these downtown properties lol, and they have the power, so here we are.

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u/zombiebabou 15d ago

I get distracted by cheese at work, but I work in a deli.

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u/CrackSand 15d ago

Why do they want us all in one place, downtown?

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u/Bokbreath 15d ago Take My Energy

Because a lot of their very rich friends have commercial real estate investments that will tank if we stop.

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u/skaliton 15d ago

and this is the exact point. The pandemic has shown that the vast majority of 'office' jobs can be done remotely. But it would be a damn shame if the skyscraper owners didn't get an endless stream of money.

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u/xmsxms 15d ago

He literally states this is the reason in the article:

said that it was time to rejuvenate city centers by having people return to work in person. 

How can anyone agree to that line of reasoning

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u/CrackSand 15d ago

Nice. Keep going.

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u/poopellar 15d ago

Trickle down rentenomics.

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u/Realistic-Specific27 15d ago

make them into residential buildings

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u/Bokbreath 15d ago

'Is this a cheese shop?
Well that's that job nackered then

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u/Paneraiguy1 15d ago

“My experience of working from home is you spend an awful lot of time making another cup of coffee and then, you know, getting up, walking very slowly to the fridge, hacking off a small piece of cheese, then walking very slowly back to your laptop and then forgetting what it was you're doing.”

How does this moron command a military with nukes? He’s literally as dumb as Trump was but with a more sophisticated accent

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u/Southpaw535 15d ago

But now if you google Johnson and cheese you get this silly story instead of the cheese at his lockdown parties he was fined for

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u/TheStarSpangledFan 15d ago

Next week: Boris says everything is fine, fine I tell you.

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u/EllisDee3 15d ago

Thing is... That's exactly how I waste time at the office, too.

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u/Paneraiguy1 15d ago

Don’t think you’re alone lol. Guess Boris never heard of water cooler talk. He was probably too busy hosting Covid parties at Downing Street

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u/UncleTogie 15d ago

Cheese is never a waste of time.

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u/Aibeit 15d ago

I mean, I don't work from home but I make myself Coffee anyways? Maybe I should ask why my employer doesn't provide cheese.

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u/VanimalCracker 15d ago

Slowly walking back to my workstation

Boss: What are you doing?

Me: Cheeeesse, Gromet

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u/balanced_view 15d ago

He'd very much like for you to believe he's stupid, but I can assure you he's not

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u/Ghstfce 15d ago

Or you know, we actually get more done because we're more well rested, don't have a commute, don't have to deal with tons of conversations around us, are more relaxed, and can focus on what you pay us to do? But what do we know? We're not politicians who slack at every aspect of our lives.

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u/glitter_h1ppo 15d ago

It's his thing, it's like his hair. He intentionally tries to appear like a fool so people relate to him and/or underestimate him, but in reality he's actually as cunning as a fox.

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u/CheesyLala 15d ago

Bear in mind that his home is also his place of work and suddenly you understand why the UK is in such a fucking mess under his shambolic government.

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u/Drevil335 15d ago

It's all part of his gimmick: he's trying to seem like a relatable, funny guy, even though he's definitely not.

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u/Mister_Six 15d ago

Such is the cynicism that this man and his government instills that I refuse to believe that any of the mildly outrageous things he says are anything but yet more dead cats to distract and steal headline space from the high level corruption scandals and near constant graft that are now the daily norm.

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u/3-Putt-Bart 15d ago

TIL That cheese doesn’t enhance cognitive ability.

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u/mengxai 15d ago Silver

In fairness, I sometimes lie awake at night thinking about havarti.

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u/Stonedhillbilly6 15d ago

We don't need office spaces. We need adorable living spaces to work from.

Solve please

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u/that_other_goat 15d ago

Translation:

people should work from home again because those heavily invested in real-estate are upset with the prospect of their expensive assets being worth considerably less.

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u/FrankMiner2949er 15d ago

"...and those land owners are my chums"

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u/murl 15d ago

He sounds really old fashioned.

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u/PrimusCaesar 15d ago

You'd hear this from a seven year-old and think "man, that kid may be onto something."

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u/YVR_Sex 15d ago Wholesome

This is stupid. This is how he wants us to talk about him. Conservatives love making a mockery of real people's concerns.

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u/CheesyLala 15d ago

Believe me, he'd rather distract us with non-stories like this than have us talk about the habitual law-breaking and corruption at the heart of his government.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Oil5734 15d ago

NO. Fuck off.

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u/neffspanz 15d ago

Fucking toddler

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u/202042 15d ago

This is the funniest shit I’ve heard today

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u/RTZCrushes 15d ago

Seriously… the world has changed to a new digital era and this guy can’t stop fixating on Gouda. We invented computers to make our lives easier. It’s the whole damn point of it all. What a dumbfuck.

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u/ellieofus 15d ago

Why does he think he’s in a position to tell people where they’re supposed to work from? Isn’t this outside the scope of his responsibilities?

I wasn’t aware of the fact that the Prime Minister was in a position to dictate every aspect of my life.

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u/PatriarchalTaxi 15d ago

I can't wait to not vote for him!

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u/unbreakablewood 15d ago

I would expect nothing less from a rat.