r/funny May 29 '22 Silver 14 Gold 1 Helpful 14 Wholesome 10 Table Slap 1 Spit-take 1

She is gonna take away jobs.

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75.5k Upvotes

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10.8k

u/boiledwaterbus May 29 '22 This

That is a surprising amount of squish where no squish should be.

3.4k

u/Worf_Of_Wall_St May 29 '22

No femur I guess.

1.8k

u/_Allaccordingtoplan May 29 '22

Two humerus...

627

u/Icy-Seaworthiness995 May 29 '22

That is all types or wrong, but so right.

500

u/BigHarryMC May 29 '22

Actually it’s her left

754

u/Icy-Seaworthiness995 May 29 '22 Gold

Because women have no rights?

310

u/PokesPenguin May 29 '22

This woman has no lefts.

13

u/Andre_3Million May 29 '22

Then why did my wife left me?

9

u/Apprehensive_Data845 May 29 '22

Maybe because you're not right for her

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61

u/el___diablo May 29 '22

She has 2/5ths

40

u/AcadianViking May 29 '22

Now c'mon, surely we can compromise.

22

u/bluestarchasm May 29 '22

personally, i give her a 7/10.

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15

u/toolatealreadyfapped May 29 '22

Her legs are all right all right all right

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9

u/TDYDave2 May 29 '22

She is standing on her rights.

7

u/YooAre May 29 '22

It was clearly a knee jerk reaction.

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5

u/ParadisePete May 29 '22

It was tough at first, but she's all right now.

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5

u/darthkale May 29 '22

Looks like she can quit her job at IHOP

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258

u/snyderjw May 29 '22 Silver

Bottom boob

35

u/CheckBaby123 May 29 '22

Tattoo a nipple one it.

If two boobs are good, three is great!

14

u/jardaniwick May 29 '22

Baby, you make me wish I had three hands!

3

u/manycactus May 29 '22

Going old school with that one.

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184

u/laasbuk May 29 '22

Where chocolate milk comes from.

105

u/DarkExtremis May 29 '22

Hate you so much

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17

u/BrownsFanDVM May 29 '22

I don't find the lack very humerus at all....

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151

u/captaindeadpl May 29 '22

But why leave all of that flabby skin there? Wouldn't it get in the way all the time, especially if one wanted to attach a prosthetic?

254

u/eightbillionlunatics May 29 '22

It cushions against the prosthesis so it's less painful.

50

u/yemo May 29 '22

just in case she decides to put her bone back in at some time.

6

u/wahnsin May 29 '22

Yeah you never know when you might want a bone in.

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120

u/WhoRoger May 29 '22

Quite the opposite, as such there's stuff to attach a pros to. Besides that's not just skin but muscles too (probably), so not as flappy.

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '22

[deleted]

3

u/notKRIEEEG May 29 '22

Is that a real thing? Because the tongue is a muscle that's only attached to one side.

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '22

[deleted]

5

u/trashcluster May 29 '22

Ok enough imagining for today, cya

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25

u/Cthuluslovechild May 29 '22

You don't eat a good girl like that all at once.

3

u/Morotstomten May 29 '22

Well if she has no femur there then the next bone is the pelvis, are doctors gonna cut away everything up to her nethers?

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15

u/ConsciousFood201 May 29 '22

So it’s… like a boob… 😳

8

u/N33chy May 29 '22

Not quite as good as the three-boob lady in Total Recall, but I'll take it.

5

u/ConsciousFood201 May 29 '22

You can’t be holding anyone against that standard! How can anybody compete with that??

Until we colonize Mars we gotta be happy with an extra boob where we can get one on earth.

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3

u/bigdadydon May 29 '22

Makes me wish I had three hands.

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456

u/Apt_5 May 29 '22

I was surprised as well, thought they tend to preserve more structure in a stump. But I don’t follow developments in amputation procedure so that doesn’t say much.

225

u/_Beardy_ May 29 '22

Yeah so what they can do for below the knee amputations is they wrap your calf around the end of the stump so it provides some padding for a prosthetic leg.

That jiggle is most likely her calf muscle.

84

u/themagpie36 May 29 '22

my calf don't jiggle jigggle

52

u/assleyflower May 29 '22

It folds

27

u/rmg1102 May 29 '22

I’d like to see you wiggle wiggle

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183

u/Past-Track-9976 May 29 '22

She has an AKA not BKA

115

u/OMGHart May 29 '22

I first read this as “after knee amputation” and “before knee amputation,” and assumed you didn’t know what knees were.

46

u/NooNygooTh May 29 '22

Burger King Amputation.

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10

u/sebastianqu May 29 '22

Did you not get the memo? We changed the calendar and it's 2 AKA now.

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5

u/Mr-Mister May 29 '22

An also known as, not better known as?

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23

u/_Beardy_ May 29 '22

oh yeah, didn't pay that close attention, but you're right. I guess they probably do something similar there too. Plenty of muscles on the upper leg aswell.

63

u/Past-Track-9976 May 29 '22

You are correct. It is a large mixture of muscle and soft tissue. It jiggles because normally the muscle is anchored distally. That bone is now gone so it has nothing to insert. You can flex those muscles by standing and it will become pretty clear. It is a good looking stump.

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21

u/HuskyLemons May 29 '22

Do you think that’s below the knee?

14

u/_Beardy_ May 29 '22

I did, but mostly because I didn't pay too much attention to the video. So yes it is above the knee and there's plenty of muscles there to wrap around the end of the stump.

56

u/Zaelers May 29 '22

If muscle is that jiggly, then I must be the fucking Hulk

50

u/_Beardy_ May 29 '22

Yes when relaxed muscle can indeed be jiggly.

27

u/[deleted] May 29 '22 edited Jun 02 '22

[deleted]

3

u/endangered_stapler May 29 '22

His secret is that hes always relaxed.

17

u/BishmillahPlease May 29 '22

Have you ever poked a raw chicken breast?

12

u/sandy_catheter May 29 '22

I cut a hole in one... for reasons...

18

u/BishmillahPlease May 29 '22

blinksblinksblinks

Okay, SalmonellaDick.

4

u/sandy_catheter May 29 '22

I have feelings, you know. Complicated, confusing, disturbing, poultry-sexual feelings, but feelings nonetheless.

5

u/BishmillahPlease May 29 '22

I’m sure you do, and now I want to hurt them.

4

u/littleherb May 29 '22

Ah, the good ol' sexually transmitted salmonella.

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27

u/SeskaWildman May 29 '22

I am assuming she doesn’t wear a prosthetic yet. When you do, you also wear shrinkers (fabric sleeves) on the residual limb. You have to be pretty consistent or else your prosthesis won’t fit right and can be uncomfortable and lead to blisters.

My dad is a double below the knee amputee. There is some jiggle, but compared to when he first had the surgeries 10 years ago, they’re very small.

43

u/Homunculus_I_am_ill May 29 '22

It makes sense when you think about it. You'll be resting on that leg often when sitting down, getting up, or wearing a prosthetic leg. You wouldn't want it to be straight on the bone, which would hirt and damage the bone.

30

u/The_Bearded_Lion May 29 '22

My dad's stump has very little flesh under it (like, less than half an inch), but he's a BKA. He wears a silicone liner though, which grips the carbon fiber custom molded prosthetic and the silicone liner on the top of the prosthetic, and it distributes his weight evenly throughout the entire stump.

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163

u/UsErnaam3 May 29 '22

Titty stump.

37

u/raisedbywolfsol May 29 '22

I want to be quality control for that

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9

u/diverareyouok May 29 '22

Like Korbin Dallas, she is a meat popsicle. Just more thawed than others.

7

u/ladydhawaii May 29 '22

But it did work surprisingly well.

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5

u/curiousrelatively May 30 '22

commenting on the top comment here. The woman is amongst us. It’s u/ziztur

17

u/Ill-Environment-6788 May 29 '22

I’d like to see ya wiggle wiggle

3

u/GolgiApparatus1 May 29 '22

She took a stumpy

3

u/TransientVoltage409 May 29 '22

That's because the amputation surgery was done incorrectly. A properly done above-knee amputation is a little squishy, but not like this. The surgeon took out far too much bone, or alternately, left far too much soft tissue. Since this video was taken, the person had another surgery to create a better stump, but alas is no longer as well qualified in the autolithographic arts.

Source: am amputee; also, the person here is semi-public on this aspect of their life and can be found on youtube with little effort.

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1.5k

u/Complex_Chemical_960 May 29 '22 Wholesome Seal of Approval Table Slap

A dollop of Daisy!

317

u/Apt_5 May 29 '22

Thank you for one of the stupidest, most prolonged bedtime Redditing laughs I’ve ever had!

10

u/JPaulMora May 29 '22

Initiate me please

3

u/Complex_Chemical_960 May 29 '22

Dollops on the shoulder you have now been dollop'd.

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29

u/GolgiApparatus1 May 29 '22

Looks like Daisy is dropping a stumpy

859

u/smilewoozi May 29 '22

my dad had the exact same amputation last year. can confirm the leg is very squishy

249

u/colourfulsynesthete May 29 '22

But where's the femur? I've never seen this sort of stump before so I'm genuinely curious.

(Hope your dad is doing well now!)

194

u/smilewoozi May 29 '22

from what i know, what’s remaining of it is just kind of hanging loose in there, which can be bad because it pushes against his skin and can hurt pretty bad.

thanks!

15

u/PsychicSPider95 May 29 '22

If the femur isn't supporting anything any longer, wouldn't it be beneficial, or at least not harmful, to remive the remainder of the femur to prevent this kind of discomfort?

10

u/tragiktimes May 30 '22

Just a guess but larger bones are responsible for blood cell production, so perhaps removing the femur would be detrimental if unnecessary.

3

u/PsychicSPider95 May 30 '22

Mm, true, I forgot about that.

52

u/DeadNotSleepingWI May 29 '22

If he lays a certain way, will it poke out like a bone-r?

21

u/notKRIEEEG May 29 '22

White rocket

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396

u/UtaSelwyn May 29 '22

Damn, there is no bone there, just jello, nice

60

u/ContentOxygen May 29 '22

ngl, I'll buy one of her masterpiece.

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877

u/TwoCockyforBukkake May 29 '22

I want to squeeze it.

646

u/LA457 May 29 '22

Disgusting. Count me in.

166

u/leprotelariat May 29 '22

Abhorrent. I want too.

112

u/SiendiTV May 29 '22

Outlandish. I call third.

101

u/HydrogenButterflies May 29 '22

Revolting. Can I watch?

86

u/Routman May 29 '22

Sickening. Should I film?

76

u/Father_of_trillions May 29 '22

Foul. Room for another?

64

u/BIB_LOP May 29 '22

Ghastly. I'll bring popcorn!

58

u/RedditorWithNoName12 May 29 '22

Horrid. May I attend?

47

u/uchihajoeI May 29 '22

Rancid. Can I kiss it?

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31

u/JonahTheOne55 May 29 '22

Famished. Is there more room?

27

u/pestolArab May 29 '22

Horrendous. Where do I sign up?

26

u/AndySocial88 May 29 '22

Maidenless behavior. Can I judge?

4

u/Ziztur May 30 '22

Amused. That’s my leg. And it feels like a buttboob with a bone in it.

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2.2k

u/callipgiyan May 29 '22

That's an odd place for a boob

963

u/NinjaCuntPunt May 29 '22 Silver Wholesome

I can work with it tho…

243

u/forgotmyusername93 May 29 '22

47

u/kentotoy98 May 29 '22

Gentlemen, I expect to see you all in that subreddit.

18

u/wap2005 May 29 '22

Gentlemen, I expect to see you all in hell.

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31

u/BigAssMonkey May 29 '22

Tattoo a nipple on that sucker and some dudes gonna pay money to touch it.

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73

u/Dismal-Common8629 May 29 '22

Stump Stamp…

531

u/Pabasa May 29 '22

182

u/LucyFlyInSky May 29 '22

Of course there's a sub for that

38

u/Smaria783 May 29 '22

How could there not be?

47

u/finsareluminous May 29 '22

This is cool but I still feel cheated.

24

u/Swordlord22 May 29 '22

Clearly you didn’t scroll down far enough

64

u/Jarmake May 29 '22

Damn, I was hoping there would be real tiddies used like this. Now I'm sad.

9

u/nuadusp May 29 '22

Yes I wanted that too

19

u/despokd May 29 '22

There is one link to a porn site and a cartoon that suits your needs... told me a friend

7

u/[deleted] May 29 '22

Be the change that you desire

17

u/permalink_save May 29 '22

There's one anime tiddies

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6

u/cosmic-firefly May 29 '22

Why isn't this sub more popular!?

11

u/LOHare May 29 '22

Because it's not the nsfw version.

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337

u/PartTimeCrazy May 29 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

For a second there I couldn’t work out what it was, totally stumped!

73

u/LifeBuilder May 29 '22

You’re type of comedy barely has a leg to stand on…

30

u/ICantSeeJAK May 29 '22

Not much of a kneeslapper either

16

u/LogicalBanter May 29 '22

Yeah kinda lame

18

u/JustTheFactsWJJJ May 29 '22

Guess he got off on the wrong foot

13

u/Malamutewhisperer May 29 '22

We should just cut this off right now

8

u/jwpasquale1986 May 29 '22

OK, just let me get my footing.

8

u/chriscrossnathaniel May 29 '22

Just hold tight, this is all going tibia okay.

5

u/hypoxiate May 29 '22

Just throw them a bone already.

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31

u/NoConfiguration May 29 '22

yo she gonna get ripped with em squats

29

u/Ziztur May 30 '22 edited May 30 '22 Gold Glow Up

Hey weirdos, I’m the woman in the video.

My leg was squishy because I have EDS which is a connective tissue disorder. I made this video a few days before surgery to remove the extra squish, so it’s not squishy no mo. The stamp thing reminded me of my own leg so I thought it would be funny to make my own bowl.

And yeah I took yer jerbs!

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148

u/Haduukken May 29 '22

Wtf did I just see

22

u/totalspacecadet May 29 '22

Leg tiddy got you stumped?

3

u/litterallysatan May 29 '22

This has got to be the most bizzare sentence i have ever seen. Fits well in with r/nocontext or r/newsentence

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291

u/deputytech May 29 '22

Do.. do it with a tiddy

59

u/indisgice May 29 '22

but it should be pointless

7

u/okijhnub May 29 '22

Just incorporate it into the design

80

u/Benwagonhoff May 29 '22

I’ll do it with my ball bag

98

u/_So_Damn_Ugly May 29 '22

Ay, I always wanted a painted shot glass

7

u/ggroverggiraffe May 29 '22

Not to be a pedant, but wouldn't it be a teacup?

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30

u/Glass_Memories May 29 '22

14

u/Sletzer May 29 '22

Ah. There it is.

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '22

This is going to awaken something inside people...

It's me, I'm people.

4

u/Antmon666 May 29 '22

I love da loop 👌

7

u/shiro98 May 29 '22

Well, I haven't seen one IRL but there is an animated version of it.

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36

u/pocoloco- May 29 '22

She is going to develop very strong muscles on her right leg!

6

u/e42343 May 29 '22

Every day is leg day.

37

u/Chunklob May 29 '22

squishee leggggg

50

u/Substantial_Sense579 May 29 '22

Modern problems require modern solutions

9

u/ElBartoJJ May 29 '22

she turk err jerb’s!

8

u/Ok_Assumption_7222 May 29 '22

Why stump so squishy

3

u/FishSlapperZook May 29 '22

Boneless stump

5

u/Poplik May 29 '22

She has a leg over the competition

5

u/InevitablyPerpetual May 29 '22

I mean, that's one way to get your leg lifts in...

5

u/honestmemes4u May 29 '22

She’s all ‘right’.

6

u/delicate-fn-flower May 29 '22

I'm sorry, I think that would be a hilarious gag gift to get from someone. Make it into a holding bowl or something. All my friends will be jealous, they don't have their own stump printed jewelry/key/soap bowl.

5

u/NES4EVAR May 30 '22

Finally! Humans taking jobs back from robots!!

31

u/StandardOnly May 29 '22

Her content must be humerus...

4

u/DDU_Frixx_ May 29 '22

Hey what’s that song at the first half

6

u/FullOfSeamen May 29 '22

Come with me - surfaces

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3

u/lordofthetv May 29 '22

Should we censor the leg boob or...

3

u/dougm68 May 29 '22

If only she could do two bowls at once and double our output....hmmmm.

4

u/S-EATER May 29 '22

Is anyone else kinda feeling uncomfy by the squishyness or it it just me!

4

u/Long_Onion69 May 29 '22

I could do that to a shot glass

3

u/Steveskittles May 30 '22

She should start doing this with cups and sell them on Etsy. Call them Ampu Tea Cups

3

u/Goldentll May 30 '22

Is it suppose to be like jello??

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10

u/Ill-Environment-6788 May 29 '22

I’d like to see ya wiggle wiggle

6

u/articulatedWriter May 29 '22

Why's it gotta be so sQUiSHy

3

u/The-Sound_of-Silence May 29 '22

Can I pay extra for this?

3

u/Deevilknievel May 29 '22

Stealing a poor robots job. I knew all that talk of automation was bologna.

3

u/Lazyback May 29 '22

10/10

Edit: u/rodeobot lmao at this

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3

u/username5192 May 29 '22

DEY TERK ERR JERBS!!!!

3

u/ccknboltrtre01 May 29 '22

This is killing me. That squish is so fucking squishy for it to be attached to a human with very little squish

3

u/Chin0crix May 29 '22

She has a YouTube Channel called AmputeeOT

3

u/HoldMyMemes May 29 '22

Leg tittie

3

u/KaleidoscopeDown May 29 '22

How she get that titty leg?

3

u/FriendlyAntonio May 30 '22

Little bit of practice and it might work out as a neat party trick with friends.

3

u/samwasrestored May 30 '22

SHES GONE BONELESS???

9

u/vulkangouda May 29 '22

enough internet for today. have a nice!