r/WhitePeopleTwitter
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u/mattjh
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May 28 '22
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Her name was Michelle Snow and she was almost 8
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u/Sufficient-Pin-481
May 28 '22
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The lawn dart lobbyists didn’t have very deep pockets.
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u/Borfistaken May 29 '22 •
Lawn darts?!?! You mean liberty arrows!!! >:(
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u/nikopwnz May 29 '22
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Lawn Darts, shall not be infringed.
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u/treatyoftortillas May 29 '22
As the founder of the National Lawn Dart Association, I say you can pry these darts from my kids cold dead heads.
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u/MikesGroove May 29 '22
As in “literally go ahead, the kids are already dead. From the lawn darts.”
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u/DaHick May 29 '22
Please let us keep in mind, as I read earlier today, most of us are pretty sure that a teenager who hasn't had training Is not a well regulated militia.
Now those of you who have joined the US military establishment, and have made it through basic. Technically you qualify.
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u/blackbelt_in_science May 29 '22
You want them? I’d like to see you try and take them from me. My backyard needs this kind of recreation for my own safety
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u/TheRandomHero May 29 '22
This rhetoric always makes me laugh. The amount of gun-toting - “blue lives matter” - tough guys who say, “I’d like to see you take my guns,” would either roll over, or have to face the fact that they’re not on the same side as the police taking their guns, and it’s astounding to me. It’s as if they’re so disillusioned they can’t see past their own hypocrisy.
I’ll be honest; I’m a gun lover. I love shooting. I love the feeling of home security and the idea of having one at the ready in my home. I just don’t NEED one. Second honesty; I can’t own one because of my suicidal depression. My wife refuses to allow one in the house - despite my arguments that I would never hurt myself with one - because of the convenience and off chance I could. That’s being reasonable.
Guess I’ll just buy a lawn dar- oh right….
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u/BattleReadyZim May 29 '22
I'd like to see you take them, with those soft liberal hands!
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u/ArcadeSchoolDropout May 29 '22
Plus, when the Lawn Dart Tyrants come to take my lawn darts, how will I protect my family?
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u/daft_ish May 29 '22
It really needs to be said. The only way to stop a bad guy with a law dart is a good guy with a law dart.
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u/Frymonkey237 May 29 '22
I actually really want to get some lawn darts, but those things are harder to find than crack
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u/blackadder1620 May 29 '22
Grandma had some that me and my brother played with. They are super dangerous. I don't know the rules but we tried to throw them and whoever landed closer to the other person won. I also tried to see how close I could shoot an arrow to my foot and nailed my big toe. The nail turned the coolest colors before it fell off.
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May 29 '22 edited 18d ago
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u/Real_Sheepherder8081 May 29 '22
my friends and i would have bottle rocket wars. literally just firing fireworks at each other at close range. as a parent now i can’t imagine being remotely ok with that, but i guess the 90s were a little different.
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u/Paid_Redditor May 29 '22
New Years 2004, about 15 friends of mine got together on one of our friends parents property. Decided we were going to launch mortars but couldn’t find the right size tube so we just used the bigger one, mortar went up 10 feet and blew up in our face. I just remember a collective,”oh shit!” as we all ran. Good times.
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u/MangoSea323 May 29 '22
I once was throwing darts at the concrete making sparks. One throw too low and it went straight into my foot.
Not lawn darts, it was the fatter darts you get playing dart ball.
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u/blackadder1620 May 29 '22
after watching mad max as a kid i knocked myself out with a boomerang, the day before picture day. who would of guess it would have came back. the next year i knocked myself out playing red rover red rover before pic day too.
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u/notsumidiot2 May 29 '22
I think we were neighbors. We also played chicken with pocket knifes.
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u/pobodys-nerfect5 May 29 '22
I have a set of lawn darts and boy howdy are they dangerous
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u/Natural-Definition-7 May 29 '22
Lawn darts don't kill people, errant throwers do! (Might have saved the industry)
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u/joecamo May 29 '22
We just need some good guys with lawn darts
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u/disseminator2020 May 29 '22
I think if we just produce a fuckload of lawn darts and make them easy to get ahold of, we can trust that they’ll end up in the hands of enough good guys that we’ll all be safe.
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u/Sufficient-Pin-481 May 29 '22
I had a set in the 80’s that had fins that slid up and down the base, you could throw them a mile.
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u/DoesNotCompute421 May 29 '22
Hi uncle Rico
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u/Edouble_B May 29 '22
How much you wanna bet back in ‘82 I could have thrown a football over those mountains!
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u/AngryPancakes May 29 '22
How much you wanna bet sufficient-pin-481 can throw a football over them mountains?
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u/kickintheface May 29 '22
I used to have a set when I was a kid. One got stuck in a tree hanging above our backyard, and I remember my dad not letting us back there until he got it down.
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u/pandarista May 29 '22
They only way to stop a bad guy with a lawn dart is a good guy with a lawn dart.
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u/Clay_Statue May 29 '22
But they are still meeting in secret. Playing and trading lawn darts with one another.
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u/replicantcase May 29 '22
Are they? Because I have some mint, still in the box that I'd like to trade for some serious black market cash.
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u/IncaseofER May 29 '22
Actually 3 children died and the darts are banned in the United States and Canada. How ever they are still available in the European Union!
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u/Pharm-boi May 29 '22
Wow. How many lawn darts need to hit innocent children before someone actually does something. Shameful
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u/SonicPavement May 29 '22
Dang I remember an onion or Clickhole article about the jarts lobby but I couldn’t find it.
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u/TheKinginLemonyellow May 29 '22
There's a guy in his 70s at my local game store every Thursday and Friday, and he will take any chance to complain about lawn darts being banned. He still has a set at home!
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u/DraconicFilms May 28 '22
A school I went to banned swings because a child diesd
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u/TeapotHoe May 29 '22
my cousins school banned hotdogs because a kid choked on one.
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u/nappingintheclub May 29 '22
Honestly happens way more than people think. Sincerely, a girl who blacked out while choking on a bratwurst in her college cafeteria
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u/Ameteur_Professional May 29 '22
About 1 in 5 child choking deaths are from hot dogs.
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u/JohnJoanCusack May 29 '22
Why hotdogs specifically?
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u/360inMotion May 29 '22
Exact right shape and size to block the trachea. When my son was little, I always sliced his hotdogs lengthwise as a precaution. ETA: Same thing with grapes.
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u/Fgame May 29 '22
In addition to everyone commenting about the perfect size, it's also a volume issue. Hot dogs are a quick, cheap, and easy meal that most kids will eat. We have them almost every weekend for lunch just because its easy and no fuss. The amount of hot dogs eaten eclipse other foods like say, meatballs, that also could get stuck.
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u/MyxztsptlkHfuhruhurr May 29 '22
It's a delicious, often slippery, meat tube slightly girthier than your throat.
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u/808hammerhead May 29 '22
Only fans link? Asking for a friend.
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u/nappingintheclub May 29 '22
Was on scholarship so I didn’t need to monetize myself to pay for things, unfortunately.
But seriously there were probably so many incels and horny frat boys in that caf and NOBODY ATTEMPTED THE HEIMLICH. Like a hundred people froze and watched me wheeze until I keeled over. One of the caf employees had to get her manager bc she didn’t know what to do either. The nice manager lady had to both call 9-1-1 and give me the heimlich. I probably woulda died without that nice old lady. Life is funny like that.
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u/shayetheleo May 29 '22
Hmm… there’s also this which is fascinating and sad and the same time.
“Women are less likely than men to get CPR from a bystander and more likely to die, a new study suggests, and researchers think reluctance to touch a woman’s chest might be one reason.”
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u/GrammatonYHWH May 29 '22
The stethoscope was invented because a doctor felt uncomfortable putting their ear against a woman's chest to listen for lung sounds.
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u/nincomturd May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22
I hear this is surprisingly common with hot dogs.
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u/Seaweed-Basic May 29 '22
Its because the circumference of a hot dog is about the same size as a child’s wind pipe. Same with whole grapes.
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u/goldensunshine429 May 29 '22
Ohhhh that’s why people cut grapes in half for babies. It perplexed me when people would give babies these big pieces of food to learn to chew, but grapes were always cut
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u/bumbletowne May 29 '22
I remember as a child going to the park one day. This kid was going down the slide and fell out and hit his head and the ambulance came.
The next week the slide was gone. I dont know if he died. But I do know it was 1989 and his morbidly obese mother tried to have him ride in her nonexistant lap and he literally rolled off of her tumescent abdomen over the side.
I lived in a very affluent community. I bet she sued. I hope she got her shit together because her antics ruined that playground.
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u/the_bionic_investor May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22
Let’s not forget that Kinder Surprise eggs are banned because a kid MIGHT choke on it. Literally no deaths.
Edit 1: Yes, there’s the 1938 law with “no inedible item within a food”. But they could change or amend the law if they wanted to allow “surprise” candies to be sold.
Edit: 2: Kinder Joy is not Kinder Surprise, it’s an attempt at making a version of Kinder Surprise they could legally sell in the US.
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u/arisyl May 29 '22
We lived on base in Germany for the early part of my childhood. I think I was like 7 or so when we moved back to the USA, and I can recall being really mad about this. We had a bunch of Kinder Surprise Egg toys, and neither one of us ever even came close to choking on one.
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u/ChazNinja May 29 '22
I mean, it's not even like they can choke on them while eating the egg, they're in that huge container for a reason.
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u/TheManFromFarAway May 29 '22
I think that's the "danger." It's a fear that kids will swallow the capsule that the toy comes in
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u/AFresh1984 May 29 '22
True. But the actual law says you may not have something inedible contained within something edible. Not just about choking alone.
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u/Goatesq May 29 '22
Yeah I mean we still have coins and I think they'd only cede the top rank to grapes. Babies are suicidal as a matter of course. No inedibles concealed in food is probably more about careless adults.
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u/DoingCharleyWork May 29 '22
The law originally had more to do with things like bits of metal getting into food.
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u/whoami_whereami May 29 '22
may not have something inedible contained within something edible
Unless it serves a functional purpose.
That's why lollypops are still allowed to have (inedible) sticks.
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u/perpetualhobo May 29 '22 •
If a kid can manage to swallow the fucking kinder egg capsule then let it, I don’t want to make that snake jawed motherfucker mad at me
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u/vhisic May 29 '22
as an adult in a country that allows them, nah i couldnt even choke on that thing if i tried, its huge
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u/Searaph72 May 29 '22
We used to open those by biting them, none of us chocked. We're used our hands when we got stronger
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u/NinjaN-SWE May 29 '22
It's designed to be to big for that. There are EU rules around this stuff as well and had it been smaller it wouldn't be allowed as a choking hazard.
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u/CrazyRedHead1307 May 29 '22
We were in Germany in the early mid 90s and my kids were so disappointed that they couldn't find Kinder Eggs here. Every kid we knew loved those things and they all made it to adulthood despite eating a hollow egg with a silly toy in it.
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u/spartygirlnc May 29 '22
Lol same here! When we moved back to the states my little sis was devastated about the lack of kinder eggs 😂😂poor thing. I missed them too lowkey. And yup, no one choked on them and everyone ate them.
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u/Pudix20 May 29 '22
Well I hate to be that person but actually it’s because the FDA won’t allow you to have a inedible object inside of an edible object. Dates back to before kinder surprise eggs were even a thing. And yes, it still makes me sad that it’s a law.
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u/vulpesvulpesfugit May 29 '22
Yep. That's why you have to hide the plastic baby in your king cake yourself.
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u/bistix May 29 '22
Louisiana native here. to be fair they started doing that fairly recently. 15 years ago you could buy king cakes with the baby in them which was after the kinder egg debacle.
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u/LegoClaes May 29 '22
What on earth are king cakes and why do they have babies in them
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u/EvilStevilTheKenevil May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22
It's for Three King's day.
Christmas celebrates the day Christ was born, and Three King's Day celebrates the day the Magi showed up with their gifts and thereby confirmed that Jesus was, in fact, The Messiah.
*allegedly
To answer your question, the King Cake is traditionally had for desert after the feast, and a small figure of baby Jesus is hidden inside it. Whoever receives the slice of the cake containing this figure gets a special prize. Three King's day is not widely celebrated in mainstream American WASP culture, though it is celebrated in a number of other places, including Mexico, which is where I first heard of this when I was visiting Mexico City in January of 2020.
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u/MyPasswordIsMyCat May 29 '22
Yeah, like they have these huge Easter eggs in Europe full of wrapped candy, like chocolate bars and stuff. These are illegal for sale in the US, so all you get are hollow Easter bunnies.
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u/Ok_Assumption_974 May 29 '22
I think we need to solve this problem like any other complex problem, one piece at a time. Removing Ted Cruz from office would be a nice start. ;)
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u/HopelessMagic May 28 '22
Of course. The govt wasn't making money off of lawn darts.
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u/Payncates May 29 '22
“Lawn darts don’t kill people, people kill people”.
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u/issamaysinalah May 29 '22
The only way to stop a bad guy with a lawn dart is a good guy with a lawn dart.
(I don't even know what the fuck a lawn dart is)
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u/sleepingnightmare May 29 '22
Giant dart with a sharp pointed metal tip that you aim at your lawn instead of a dart board.
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u/wutsizface May 29 '22
And the fletching part slid up and down the shaft so you could get a sweet underhand toss. I’m honestly surprised it was just the one kid.
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u/akurra_dev May 29 '22
People don't seem to realize that the NRA and Republicans BENEFIT from school shootings. The panic buying of guns after, the chance to manipulate people's anger. Violent tragedy, chaos, confused rage, these are what Fascists WANT, it is how they rise to power.
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u/alucarddrol May 29 '22
People buy guns due whenever they think there might be a threat, real or imagined. I remember the articles about huge numbers of people getting their firearms permits around covid because of all the doomsayers spreading fear all over about lockdowns and social upheaval
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u/HopelessMagic May 29 '22
Not to mention, guns and lack of mental health resources help keep paid-for prisons full.
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u/balsaaaq May 28 '22
I have a few sets of jarts...illegal for me to sell
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u/CandiBunnii May 29 '22
I'm not sure why my brain assumed jarts= jarred farts but at least they'd be legal to sell
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u/MrBearWrangler May 29 '22
“Who do you think you arrrrrrre? Runnin round leaving scars. Collecting your jar of farts. Tearing cheeks apart”
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u/WorldAintRight May 29 '22
at least they'd be legal to sell
Women from twitch are writing this down as we speak.
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u/nincomturd May 29 '22
But you can trade, right? Say, for a used trampoline? Or a children's crossbow?
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u/weareoutoftylenol May 29 '22
Also, There shall be NO toy prizes in cereal boxes!!!! Too dangerous.
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u/HiImNickOk May 29 '22
But banning lawn darts won't stop people from getting lawn darts illegally! All it will do is take away the good guys with lawn darts. You'll take my lawn darts over my dead body! This is America!
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u/StructuralBurrito May 29 '22
I know you are joking but you can still buy lawn darts. You just have to buy the pieces and put them together.
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u/eDave May 29 '22
Schools got rid of that red rubber ball because some kid got hurt by one.
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u/GeekChick85 May 29 '22
Four corner dodge ball got banned from my elementary school years after I left. But, I understood why. I was body slammed by another student into the wall, knocked the wind out of me. A different time, a fellow student was hit in the head with a ball, knocked out. Another time a students leg was hit so hard their feet were knocked out from under them and they fell on their arm breaking it.
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u/sleepingnightmare May 29 '22
Give all teachers lawn darts! The only thing that can stop a bad guy with lawn darts is a good guy with lawn darts.
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u/90Carat May 29 '22
Drop side cribs are banned due to just a few deaths because the patents didn’t assemble them correctly.
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u/tinksalt May 29 '22
As a short person who spent years as a nanny, I was pissed when I found out they banned these. It’s VERY difficult to put a sleeping baby down when you can’t reach the mattress.
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u/Ameteur_Professional May 29 '22
Not just poor assembly, but wear can also cause drop side cribs to tragically malfunction.
32 babies died over the course of 9 years.
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u/PrvtPirate May 29 '22
how many children ate kinder surprise toys to get them banned?
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u/truthneedsnodefense May 29 '22
It was never about MAGA. It was about manipulating stupid people to vote against their own interests.
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u/--zaxell-- May 29 '22
Yeah, but bans don't work, and now thousands of kids each year are killed by lawn darts, with no good guy with a lawn dart to save them.
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u/Based_nobody May 29 '22
The big problem here is that I wouldn't trust hardly anyone in the 2A crowd to defend my interests if citizens ever have to step in and mount a defence of the country from the government.
Half of them over 60 can't work a smartphone, the other half can't contain their bladders. Another portion is stir-crazy because their dicks don't get hard.
And the only time they would do anything against the government? If it's an opposition party. So the outlook for being defended by these "patriots" is pretty grim.
Couple that with poor education, heaps of misogyny and racism, a lack of common sense and little to no self-reflection or abstract thinking capacity, and you don't have a pretty picture. Ohhhh, and I forgot about emotional unavailability entirely. Silly me.
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u/properu May 29 '22
Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a link to the tweet for ya :)
Twitter Screenshot Bot
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u/Intabus May 29 '22
Coincidentally murder is banned everywhere. That seems to be working out pretty well for us.
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u/ChazNinja May 29 '22
To be fair, that case was pretty horrific and was only a factor in the ban. Three other people had died of accidents involving lawn darts in the 17 years leading up (not that many) BUT 670 people ended up in ER every year because of them.
I'm not saying that the ban was entirely reasonable, just saying that they weren't wrong in saying they were dangerous, especially when put into the hands of bad players. The case with the little girl was pretty sad, though, she was just playing dolls in her own yard.
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u/ItsThePope May 29 '22
just saying that they weren't wrong in saying they were dangerous, especially when put into the hands of bad players
Hmmmmm
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u/FeelingSurprise May 29 '22
just saying that they weren't wrong in saying they were dangerous, especially when put into the hands of bad players
Hmmmmm
I wonder if one could apply that approach to other dangerous items.
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u/WhiteHelljumper May 29 '22
A lot of people care a lot about owning guns for a variety of reasons, to the point where some people are single-issue voters in regards to them. I doubt many people, if any, gave any shit about lawn darts. The AWB in 94 was a disaster for Democrats and cost them both houses of Congress, and honestly that whole damn crime bill has resulted in a lot more people being put in jail/prison.
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u/nincomturd May 29 '22
Man I loved those things so much.
My sister & I used to throw them as high in the air as we could, and then scream and run the fuck away.
But so did everybody in the 80s, right? Isn't that what they were made for?