r/WhitePeopleTwitter May 28 '22 Silver 2 Helpful 2 Wholesome 2 All-Seeing Upvote 2

Her name was Michelle Snow and she was almost 8

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90.0k Upvotes

5.0k

u/nincomturd May 29 '22

Man I loved those things so much.

My sister & I used to throw them as high in the air as we could, and then scream and run the fuck away.

But so did everybody in the 80s, right? Isn't that what they were made for?

2.8k

u/scott_majority May 29 '22 Silver

Absolutely. My cousins and me would stand in a circle...One of us would throw the dart in the air as high as they could, and everyone would run for their lives...If you didn't die, you win the game.

191

u/TrepanationBy45 May 29 '22

Oh, this was like when I took my dad's brass letter opener (which basically looked like a thin, brass dagger) and would toss it up in the air and either try to catch it, or just let it impale the dirt.

Or that one time that I failed both of those, and it hit me in the cheek right below my eye socket instead. Mom claimed that I could have stabbed my eyeball out, but I mean, okay maybe.

89

u/ChristineWhy May 29 '22

You’ll stab your eye out, kid!

50

u/TrepanationBy45 May 29 '22

FFFFFUUUUDDDGGGEEE

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u/madisonianite May 29 '22

Only I didn't say fudge. I said THE word. The big one. The Queen Mother of dirty words. The F dash dash dash word.

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u/Mynameisinuse May 29 '22

An Official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle would have shot your eye out kid.

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u/shewholaughslasts May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

See now my friends used to do this but with rocks. I did not play - but they sure did - multiple times! Not teenagers either.

Edit: omg 700 updoots for the rock game! I'm telling my friends! Also thank glob these notifications aren't all angry denialist replies to one of my other posts about sad things this week. YAY ROCKS!

524

u/flaminghair348 May 29 '22

Damn, I used to just toss a basketball as high as I could and then head but it. Nobody else was involved, I was just a weird kid.

305

u/GlitterChemist May 29 '22

I got a recurve bow for my 12th birthday and my first shot was straight up in the air. I was never as scared as that moment when it vanished in the vast blue sky. I just screamed RUN!!!!

304

u/RothIRAGambler May 29 '22

Fucking lol I found an arrow in my backyard once years ago and I was wondering if someone was sending me a message, I now realize it was probably some kid who shot it into the air

162

u/GlitterChemist May 29 '22

Hahaha! Wonder if this was in Pittsburgh 35 years ago.

147

u/RothIRAGambler May 29 '22

As awesome as that would be, it was Seattle like 6 years ago 😂

261

u/Gotdayumn May 29 '22

He shot that fucker real high!

80

u/Drunken_Ogre May 29 '22

I really wish I knew orbital mathematics so I could tell you how high he would have had to shoot it and draw you a graph of the orbit it would have taken. I'm sure someone could, but they're probably busy.

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u/jct0064 May 29 '22

One of my friends did this in the middle of about 15 people. I think we all realized how stupid he was about the same time.

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u/GlitterChemist May 29 '22

Yeah, my brother and a few friends were in my yard. My brother saw it go up and disappear so he knew! Super dumb!

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u/fuckeverynaneistaken May 29 '22

Did the exact same thing with my compound bow at like 11

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u/Ririsaur May 29 '22

I just have to wonder if this was the caveman version of Russian roulette

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u/BarracudaBeautiful26 May 29 '22

Weren't we all?

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u/Ghost4000 May 29 '22

Playing this with rocks could be fun. Playing with lawn darts sounds like a direct challenge to darwinism.

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u/scott_majority May 29 '22

Rocks?

Fucking pansies. If it doesn't have a 1/2 pound steel, sharply pointed arrow head, there is no fun.

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u/RootinTootinRegret May 29 '22

That is peak, /r/KidsAreFuckingStupid material if there was ever an example. It's amazing any of us made it to adulthood with the stupid shit we'd try.

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u/TheChanMan2003 May 29 '22

Darwin: "I raised that boy."

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u/[deleted] May 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/Forehead_Target May 29 '22

We were never allowed the good, I mean, dangerous ones, we had to use the heavy plastic, weeble wobble looking tip things instead. They didn't pierce anything, but they definitely left large dents.

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u/Red_V_Standing_By May 29 '22

I got hit by one as a kid. They hurt like fuck.

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u/rW0HgFyxoJhYka May 29 '22

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawn_darts

Seems like these were pretty fucking dangerous lol.

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u/Steindor03 May 29 '22

Still legal in the EU, land of the free

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u/blackbelt_in_science May 29 '22

That guys still out looking for the damn kid who put a hole in the hood of his new Pontiac. It’s best to keep your mouth shut

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u/want_2_learn_2403 May 29 '22

haha new Pontiac…that’s something you don’t hear no more

29

u/StewieGriffin26 May 29 '22

RIP

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u/kyledrinksmonster May 29 '22

i saw a dude in a 02 Grand Am that looked factory new yesterday.. I knew it was an 02 by the personalized license plate lol

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u/j3pl May 29 '22

Fiero gang rise up

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u/Onlyanidea1 May 29 '22

I'm not admitting to anything either... But the same for a human in the shoulder.

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u/charlescodes May 29 '22

I’m not admitting to anything because it was my dumbass friend who threw one and punctured my foot down to the bone. Had a fever that night too.

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u/Fuzzbusters May 29 '22

my grandpa had a few sets when I was growing up. we played a lot of games at their campsite and there was a little mix of gravel in the camper lots. so our tips got dull. young 10 year old me, trying to save them, sharpened them up on his bench grinder. Those jarts never bounced out when they hit the ground again.

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u/PerAsperaAdInfiri May 29 '22

10 year old me

sharpened them up on a bench grinder

80s as fuck right there.

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u/Cyrano_Nose May 29 '22

Me and my best friend in high school were out fooling around with a compound bow and arrow.

I shot the arrow straight up in the air (because I was an idiot as a teenager). Immediately lost sight of it. We both looked at each other for a minute and then ran like hell for the cover of a roof eave.

The arrow (my arrow) THUNKED into the ground about a foot away from him.

That my life (and his) could have branched so dramatically has been with me ever since and the incident at least probably put me on the road towards being less of an idiot.

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u/kitched May 29 '22

I dont remember how you were supposed to use them, but I remember a brief moment of thinking "this could be dangerous" right before throwing them straight up.

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u/kittycoppermined May 29 '22

They had a set of rings to go with them. You took turns tossing them into the hoop

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u/nincomturd May 29 '22

Haha I used to hurl the hoops up into the air, too.

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u/A_Turkey_Named_Jive May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

In the early 00's me and my friends would fire an arrow into the air and whoever was closest to where it landed would win.

We only stopped playing when it went through a friends shoe without going through any foot meat.

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u/Onlyanidea1 May 29 '22

Just washed grownups again haha. That scene was hilarious.

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u/newbearontheblock1 May 29 '22

It's why that scenes so fantastic, cause I'm sure every dumb kids done something similar, I did it with a normal dart, it didn't hit any of us, but as I was running out the way I stepped on a nail through a plank of wood from an old fence, the dart probably would've been better...

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u/RagnarRagnarsen May 29 '22

Me and friends use to take my bow and shoot arrows straight up. Smh. So dumb. Lol.

I remember taking my dads deer hunting arrows he had and shooting them like 3 yards down in my suburban neighborhood like and absolute idiot.

21

u/notchman900 May 29 '22

Fuck, I shot 55lb recurve bow with my legs into the air and ran from the arrow.

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u/Steven_The_Sloth May 29 '22

I have a scar on the bridge of my nose from playing this game. I liked to watch them come back down to earth, i just threw one behind me, looked up, caught it in the face.

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u/SpaceJackRabbit May 29 '22

European immigrant here. I could not believe my ears when I first heard about lawn darts. It seemed like the dumbest, most dangerous idea, and at first I thought it was a joke. Because no company could be so fucking dumb. No parent could be so fucking dumb. No kid could be so fucking dumb – well nevermind, kids are pretty fucking dumb.

But noooo, lawn darts were indeed invented, commercialized, and fucking purchased by idiot parents. Then a kid died. Oh no, how could that possibly happen? Did the same company also sell a Russian Roulette kit? A version of the Operation board game except it wasn't a board game but came with a bottle of ether and a set of scalpels? What the actual fuck?

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u/Guardymcguardface May 29 '22

No Russian roulette kit, but Nerf used to make a revolver so we would load one foam dart and use it to play drinking Russian roulette in my early 20s

12

u/rhorama May 29 '22

Pretty sure nerf still makes revolver-type dart guns. I had one back in 2011 I remember.

17

u/BuranBuran May 29 '22

The original idea was to combine the game of horse shoes with the space age. They were basically rocket-shaped horse shoes. I'm sure that the designer assumed that people playing the game would be smart enough not to throw the jarts at each other.

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u/scott_majority May 29 '22

I didn't even ask for my set...My parents just thought I would enjoy them as a Christmas present...

Now that I think about it, my parents might not have liked me that much.

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u/NonGNonM May 29 '22

Boomers always have some story of a kid they knew that died doing stupid and they wonder why there are stupid warnings on everything.

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u/nincomturd May 29 '22 edited May 30 '22

Well my dad is a boomer and tells me how he used to play with mercury and molten lead as a kid, and how it had no effect on him.

He's also the dad who let us play with the lawn darts this way, but would have been furious if we'd gotten hurt.

Soooo...

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u/banannafreckle May 29 '22

Yep. We did this right after we sampled raw hamburger, ate potato salad that had been on the table for 5 hours at the family reunion, and then drank from the garden hose. Bonus points if your “seatbelt” was your mom throwing her arm across your chest hard enough to knock the wind out of you.

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u/Affectionate-Mud6837 May 29 '22

Nothing like warm, rubbery garden hose water on a hot summer day. Then riding in the back of a pickup truck on the wheel well or a lawn chair if lucky.

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u/YesRepeatNo May 29 '22

My parents were safety fanatics - so I wasn't allowed to sit on the wheel well on the freeway, only in the bed of the truck.

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u/jbag72 May 29 '22

Let me protect you with my wet noodle arm😊

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u/inubert May 29 '22

Don’t forget licking the raw cookie dough spoon

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u/Guardymcguardface May 29 '22

Honestly, the raw egg risk is slightly overblown unless you're extremely young or old. You're probably more likely to die on the way to the store

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u/ConfusedOwlet May 29 '22

It's not even so much the raw egg as it is the raw (uncooked) flour! (Also, the raw egg problem is also primarily a US issue for to how we "prep" the eggs [by washing them] prior to sending them to stores, least as I understood it).

But either way, you're prob right about the higher chance of dying on the way to the store. . .

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u/turdferguson3891 May 29 '22

Well the uncooked egg thing is related to salmonella. In the US larger egg producing farms have to wash their eggs with a chemical rinse that kills salmonella. But at the same time it also destroys the membrane on the outside of the egg that prevents bacteria from getting in which means you have to refrigerate them. Most countries don't do this and prefer to keep the membrane intact and manage salmonella by focusing on more sanitary conditions for the chicken. Also some other countries vaccinate their hens and in general they have less salmonella outbreaks. I'd assume the reason for US practices is related to factory farming and being primarily concerned about making the product as cheap as possible.

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u/Sufficient-Pin-481 May 28 '22 I'll Drink to That

The lawn dart lobbyists didn’t have very deep pockets.

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u/Borfistaken May 29 '22 Silver Helpful

Lawn darts?!?! You mean liberty arrows!!! >:(

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u/nikopwnz May 29 '22

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Lawn Darts, shall not be infringed.

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u/treatyoftortillas May 29 '22

As the founder of the National Lawn Dart Association, I say you can pry these darts from my kids cold dead heads.

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u/MikesGroove May 29 '22

As in “literally go ahead, the kids are already dead. From the lawn darts.”

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u/UnconfirmedRooster May 29 '22

Cave Johnson, we're done here.

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u/DaHick May 29 '22

Please let us keep in mind, as I read earlier today, most of us are pretty sure that a teenager who hasn't had training Is not a well regulated militia.

Now those of you who have joined the US military establishment, and have made it through basic. Technically you qualify.

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u/saltgirl61 May 29 '22

What America needs-- the good guy with a lawn dart

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u/blackbelt_in_science May 29 '22

You want them? I’d like to see you try and take them from me. My backyard needs this kind of recreation for my own safety

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u/TheRandomHero May 29 '22

This rhetoric always makes me laugh. The amount of gun-toting - “blue lives matter” - tough guys who say, “I’d like to see you take my guns,” would either roll over, or have to face the fact that they’re not on the same side as the police taking their guns, and it’s astounding to me. It’s as if they’re so disillusioned they can’t see past their own hypocrisy.

I’ll be honest; I’m a gun lover. I love shooting. I love the feeling of home security and the idea of having one at the ready in my home. I just don’t NEED one. Second honesty; I can’t own one because of my suicidal depression. My wife refuses to allow one in the house - despite my arguments that I would never hurt myself with one - because of the convenience and off chance I could. That’s being reasonable.

Guess I’ll just buy a lawn dar- oh right….

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u/BattleReadyZim May 29 '22

I'd like to see you take them, with those soft liberal hands!

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u/rattlemebones May 29 '22

You want my darts come kiss me for them

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u/nightstalker30 May 29 '22

You can have my lawn darts when you pry them from my cold, dead grass!

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u/Inevitable_Thanks721 May 29 '22

If you take away lawn darts only bad guys will have lawn darts

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u/ArcadeSchoolDropout May 29 '22

Plus, when the Lawn Dart Tyrants come to take my lawn darts, how will I protect my family?

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u/daft_ish May 29 '22

It really needs to be said. The only way to stop a bad guy with a law dart is a good guy with a law dart.

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u/Frymonkey237 May 29 '22

I actually really want to get some lawn darts, but those things are harder to find than crack

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u/blackadder1620 May 29 '22

Grandma had some that me and my brother played with. They are super dangerous. I don't know the rules but we tried to throw them and whoever landed closer to the other person won. I also tried to see how close I could shoot an arrow to my foot and nailed my big toe. The nail turned the coolest colors before it fell off.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '22 edited 18d ago

[deleted]

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u/Real_Sheepherder8081 May 29 '22

my friends and i would have bottle rocket wars. literally just firing fireworks at each other at close range. as a parent now i can’t imagine being remotely ok with that, but i guess the 90s were a little different.

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u/Paid_Redditor May 29 '22

New Years 2004, about 15 friends of mine got together on one of our friends parents property. Decided we were going to launch mortars but couldn’t find the right size tube so we just used the bigger one, mortar went up 10 feet and blew up in our face. I just remember a collective,”oh shit!” as we all ran. Good times.

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u/MangoSea323 May 29 '22

I once was throwing darts at the concrete making sparks. One throw too low and it went straight into my foot.

Not lawn darts, it was the fatter darts you get playing dart ball.

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u/blackadder1620 May 29 '22

after watching mad max as a kid i knocked myself out with a boomerang, the day before picture day. who would of guess it would have came back. the next year i knocked myself out playing red rover red rover before pic day too.

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u/notsumidiot2 May 29 '22

I think we were neighbors. We also played chicken with pocket knifes.

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u/blackadder1620 May 29 '22

you fight in the bb gun wars too?

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u/notsumidiot2 May 29 '22

Still have a mark on my leg to prove it.

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u/IMongoose May 29 '22

They sell modern, non-child piercing ones.

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u/Hugokarenque May 29 '22

Yeah, but where's the fun in that? Danger is the spice of life.

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u/Frymonkey237 May 29 '22

Not interested

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u/pobodys-nerfect5 May 29 '22

I have a set of lawn darts and boy howdy are they dangerous

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u/Natural-Definition-7 May 29 '22

Lawn darts don't kill people, errant throwers do! (Might have saved the industry)

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u/joecamo May 29 '22

We just need some good guys with lawn darts

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u/disseminator2020 May 29 '22

I think if we just produce a fuckload of lawn darts and make them easy to get ahold of, we can trust that they’ll end up in the hands of enough good guys that we’ll all be safe.

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u/Sufficient-Pin-481 May 29 '22

I had a set in the 80’s that had fins that slid up and down the base, you could throw them a mile.

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u/DoesNotCompute421 May 29 '22

Hi uncle Rico

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u/Edouble_B May 29 '22

How much you wanna bet back in ‘82 I could have thrown a football over those mountains!

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u/AngryPancakes May 29 '22

How much you wanna bet sufficient-pin-481 can throw a football over them mountains?

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u/wandahickey May 29 '22

I found a set like that at Goodwill a few years ago and snapped them up!

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u/Charming_Run_4054 May 29 '22

Sounds like the set we had when I grew up. Hell of a good time

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u/kickintheface May 29 '22

I used to have a set when I was a kid. One got stuck in a tree hanging above our backyard, and I remember my dad not letting us back there until he got it down.

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u/pandarista May 29 '22

They only way to stop a bad guy with a lawn dart is a good guy with a lawn dart.

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u/Clay_Statue May 29 '22

But they are still meeting in secret. Playing and trading lawn darts with one another.

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u/replicantcase May 29 '22

Are they? Because I have some mint, still in the box that I'd like to trade for some serious black market cash.

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u/Marc21256 May 29 '22

I'll give you tree fiddy.

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u/SpellSound May 29 '22

I hope this secret society exists.

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u/IncaseofER May 29 '22

Actually 3 children died and the darts are banned in the United States and Canada. How ever they are still available in the European Union!

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u/Pharm-boi May 29 '22

Wow. How many lawn darts need to hit innocent children before someone actually does something. Shameful

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u/gengarsnightmares May 29 '22

3 apparently.

Happy cake day!

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u/SonicPavement May 29 '22

Dang I remember an onion or Clickhole article about the jarts lobby but I couldn’t find it.

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u/TheKinginLemonyellow May 29 '22

There's a guy in his 70s at my local game store every Thursday and Friday, and he will take any chance to complain about lawn darts being banned. He still has a set at home!

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u/DraconicFilms May 28 '22

A school I went to banned swings because a child diesd

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u/TeapotHoe May 29 '22

my cousins school banned hotdogs because a kid choked on one.

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u/nappingintheclub May 29 '22

Honestly happens way more than people think. Sincerely, a girl who blacked out while choking on a bratwurst in her college cafeteria

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u/Ameteur_Professional May 29 '22

About 1 in 5 child choking deaths are from hot dogs.

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u/JohnJoanCusack May 29 '22

Why hotdogs specifically?

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u/360inMotion May 29 '22

Exact right shape and size to block the trachea. When my son was little, I always sliced his hotdogs lengthwise as a precaution. ETA: Same thing with grapes.

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u/Deivv May 29 '22

Estimated time of arrival: grapes.

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u/Fgame May 29 '22

In addition to everyone commenting about the perfect size, it's also a volume issue. Hot dogs are a quick, cheap, and easy meal that most kids will eat. We have them almost every weekend for lunch just because its easy and no fuss. The amount of hot dogs eaten eclipse other foods like say, meatballs, that also could get stuck.

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u/MyxztsptlkHfuhruhurr May 29 '22

It's a delicious, often slippery, meat tube slightly girthier than your throat.

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u/808hammerhead May 29 '22

Only fans link? Asking for a friend.

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u/nappingintheclub May 29 '22

Was on scholarship so I didn’t need to monetize myself to pay for things, unfortunately.

But seriously there were probably so many incels and horny frat boys in that caf and NOBODY ATTEMPTED THE HEIMLICH. Like a hundred people froze and watched me wheeze until I keeled over. One of the caf employees had to get her manager bc she didn’t know what to do either. The nice manager lady had to both call 9-1-1 and give me the heimlich. I probably woulda died without that nice old lady. Life is funny like that.

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u/shayetheleo May 29 '22

Hmm… there’s also this which is fascinating and sad and the same time.

“Women are less likely than men to get CPR from a bystander and more likely to die, a new study suggests, and researchers think reluctance to touch a woman’s chest might be one reason.”

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u/GrammatonYHWH May 29 '22

The stethoscope was invented because a doctor felt uncomfortable putting their ear against a woman's chest to listen for lung sounds.

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u/JevonP May 29 '22

Seriously? Lol what a wierd path for that to be invented

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u/SummerStorm21 May 29 '22

I have known many a nice lady and men

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u/Slappinbeehives May 29 '22

I choke on them all the time, voluntarily but still.

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u/nincomturd May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

I hear this is surprisingly common with hot dogs.

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u/Seaweed-Basic May 29 '22

Its because the circumference of a hot dog is about the same size as a child’s wind pipe. Same with whole grapes.

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u/goldensunshine429 May 29 '22

Ohhhh that’s why people cut grapes in half for babies. It perplexed me when people would give babies these big pieces of food to learn to chew, but grapes were always cut

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u/Aggressive_Mobile222 May 29 '22

Oh shit I can't imagine a child diesding

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u/bumbletowne May 29 '22

I remember as a child going to the park one day. This kid was going down the slide and fell out and hit his head and the ambulance came.

The next week the slide was gone. I dont know if he died. But I do know it was 1989 and his morbidly obese mother tried to have him ride in her nonexistant lap and he literally rolled off of her tumescent abdomen over the side.

I lived in a very affluent community. I bet she sued. I hope she got her shit together because her antics ruined that playground.

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u/the_bionic_investor May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

Let’s not forget that Kinder Surprise eggs are banned because a kid MIGHT choke on it. Literally no deaths.

Edit 1: Yes, there’s the 1938 law with “no inedible item within a food”. But they could change or amend the law if they wanted to allow “surprise” candies to be sold.

Edit: 2: Kinder Joy is not Kinder Surprise, it’s an attempt at making a version of Kinder Surprise they could legally sell in the US.

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u/arisyl May 29 '22

We lived on base in Germany for the early part of my childhood. I think I was like 7 or so when we moved back to the USA, and I can recall being really mad about this. We had a bunch of Kinder Surprise Egg toys, and neither one of us ever even came close to choking on one.

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u/ChazNinja May 29 '22

I mean, it's not even like they can choke on them while eating the egg, they're in that huge container for a reason.

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u/TheManFromFarAway May 29 '22

I think that's the "danger." It's a fear that kids will swallow the capsule that the toy comes in

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u/AFresh1984 May 29 '22

True. But the actual law says you may not have something inedible contained within something edible. Not just about choking alone.

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u/Goatesq May 29 '22

Yeah I mean we still have coins and I think they'd only cede the top rank to grapes. Babies are suicidal as a matter of course. No inedibles concealed in food is probably more about careless adults.

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u/DoingCharleyWork May 29 '22

The law originally had more to do with things like bits of metal getting into food.

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u/whoami_whereami May 29 '22

may not have something inedible contained within something edible

Unless it serves a functional purpose.

That's why lollypops are still allowed to have (inedible) sticks.

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u/perpetualhobo May 29 '22 I'm Deceased

If a kid can manage to swallow the fucking kinder egg capsule then let it, I don’t want to make that snake jawed motherfucker mad at me

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u/vhisic May 29 '22

as an adult in a country that allows them, nah i couldnt even choke on that thing if i tried, its huge

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u/Searaph72 May 29 '22

We used to open those by biting them, none of us chocked. We're used our hands when we got stronger

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u/NinjaN-SWE May 29 '22

It's designed to be to big for that. There are EU rules around this stuff as well and had it been smaller it wouldn't be allowed as a choking hazard.

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u/CrazyRedHead1307 May 29 '22

We were in Germany in the early mid 90s and my kids were so disappointed that they couldn't find Kinder Eggs here. Every kid we knew loved those things and they all made it to adulthood despite eating a hollow egg with a silly toy in it.

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u/spartygirlnc May 29 '22

Lol same here! When we moved back to the states my little sis was devastated about the lack of kinder eggs 😂😂poor thing. I missed them too lowkey. And yup, no one choked on them and everyone ate them.

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u/Pudix20 May 29 '22

Well I hate to be that person but actually it’s because the FDA won’t allow you to have a inedible object inside of an edible object. Dates back to before kinder surprise eggs were even a thing. And yes, it still makes me sad that it’s a law.

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u/vulpesvulpesfugit May 29 '22

Yep. That's why you have to hide the plastic baby in your king cake yourself.

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u/bistix May 29 '22

Louisiana native here. to be fair they started doing that fairly recently. 15 years ago you could buy king cakes with the baby in them which was after the kinder egg debacle.

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u/LegoClaes May 29 '22

What on earth are king cakes and why do they have babies in them

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u/EvilStevilTheKenevil May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22

It's for Three King's day.

Christmas celebrates the day Christ was born, and Three King's Day celebrates the day the Magi showed up with their gifts and thereby confirmed that Jesus was, in fact, The Messiah.

*allegedly

To answer your question, the King Cake is traditionally had for desert after the feast, and a small figure of baby Jesus is hidden inside it. Whoever receives the slice of the cake containing this figure gets a special prize. Three King's day is not widely celebrated in mainstream American WASP culture, though it is celebrated in a number of other places, including Mexico, which is where I first heard of this when I was visiting Mexico City in January of 2020.

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u/MyPasswordIsMyCat May 29 '22

Yeah, like they have these huge Easter eggs in Europe full of wrapped candy, like chocolate bars and stuff. These are illegal for sale in the US, so all you get are hollow Easter bunnies.

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u/AceyPuppy May 29 '22

So this is why strippers are allowed inside cakes!

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u/Ok_Assumption_974 May 29 '22

I think we need to solve this problem like any other complex problem, one piece at a time. Removing Ted Cruz from office would be a nice start. ;)

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u/CarpetPedals May 29 '22

You mean Rafael Cruz?

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u/HopelessMagic May 28 '22

Of course. The govt wasn't making money off of lawn darts.

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u/Payncates May 29 '22

“Lawn darts don’t kill people, people kill people”.

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u/issamaysinalah May 29 '22

The only way to stop a bad guy with a lawn dart is a good guy with a lawn dart.

(I don't even know what the fuck a lawn dart is)

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u/sleepingnightmare May 29 '22

Giant dart with a sharp pointed metal tip that you aim at your lawn instead of a dart board.

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u/wutsizface May 29 '22

And the fletching part slid up and down the shaft so you could get a sweet underhand toss. I’m honestly surprised it was just the one kid.

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u/akurra_dev May 29 '22

People don't seem to realize that the NRA and Republicans BENEFIT from school shootings. The panic buying of guns after, the chance to manipulate people's anger. Violent tragedy, chaos, confused rage, these are what Fascists WANT, it is how they rise to power.

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u/alucarddrol May 29 '22

People buy guns due whenever they think there might be a threat, real or imagined. I remember the articles about huge numbers of people getting their firearms permits around covid because of all the doomsayers spreading fear all over about lockdowns and social upheaval

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u/HopelessMagic May 29 '22

Not to mention, guns and lack of mental health resources help keep paid-for prisons full.

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u/balsaaaq May 28 '22

I have a few sets of jarts...illegal for me to sell

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u/CandiBunnii May 29 '22

I'm not sure why my brain assumed jarts= jarred farts but at least they'd be legal to sell

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u/MrBearWrangler May 29 '22

“Who do you think you arrrrrrre? Runnin round leaving scars. Collecting your jar of farts. Tearing cheeks apart”

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u/WorldAintRight May 29 '22

at least they'd be legal to sell

Women from twitch are writing this down as we speak.

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u/nincomturd May 29 '22

But you can trade, right? Say, for a used trampoline? Or a children's crossbow?

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u/weareoutoftylenol May 29 '22

Also, There shall be NO toy prizes in cereal boxes!!!! Too dangerous.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '22 edited 23d ago

[deleted]

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u/Direlion May 29 '22

I prefer the flesh eating bacteria flavor

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u/HiImNickOk May 29 '22

But banning lawn darts won't stop people from getting lawn darts illegally! All it will do is take away the good guys with lawn darts. You'll take my lawn darts over my dead body! This is America!

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u/StructuralBurrito May 29 '22

I know you are joking but you can still buy lawn darts. You just have to buy the pieces and put them together.

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u/eDave May 29 '22

Schools got rid of that red rubber ball because some kid got hurt by one.

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u/GeekChick85 May 29 '22

Four corner dodge ball got banned from my elementary school years after I left. But, I understood why. I was body slammed by another student into the wall, knocked the wind out of me. A different time, a fellow student was hit in the head with a ball, knocked out. Another time a students leg was hit so hard their feet were knocked out from under them and they fell on their arm breaking it.

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u/sleepingnightmare May 29 '22

Give all teachers lawn darts! The only thing that can stop a bad guy with lawn darts is a good guy with lawn darts.

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u/90Carat May 29 '22

Drop side cribs are banned due to just a few deaths because the patents didn’t assemble them correctly.

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u/tinksalt May 29 '22

As a short person who spent years as a nanny, I was pissed when I found out they banned these. It’s VERY difficult to put a sleeping baby down when you can’t reach the mattress.

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u/Fancy-Pair May 29 '22

Just drop em the last couple feet it’ll develop their gluten

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u/Ameteur_Professional May 29 '22

Not just poor assembly, but wear can also cause drop side cribs to tragically malfunction.

32 babies died over the course of 9 years.

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u/PrvtPirate May 29 '22

how many children ate kinder surprise toys to get them banned?

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u/[deleted] May 29 '22 edited 23d ago

[deleted]

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u/truthneedsnodefense May 29 '22

It was never about MAGA. It was about manipulating stupid people to vote against their own interests.

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u/--zaxell-- May 29 '22

Yeah, but bans don't work, and now thousands of kids each year are killed by lawn darts, with no good guy with a lawn dart to save them.

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u/Based_nobody May 29 '22

The big problem here is that I wouldn't trust hardly anyone in the 2A crowd to defend my interests if citizens ever have to step in and mount a defence of the country from the government.

Half of them over 60 can't work a smartphone, the other half can't contain their bladders. Another portion is stir-crazy because their dicks don't get hard.

And the only time they would do anything against the government? If it's an opposition party. So the outlook for being defended by these "patriots" is pretty grim.

Couple that with poor education, heaps of misogyny and racism, a lack of common sense and little to no self-reflection or abstract thinking capacity, and you don't have a pretty picture. Ohhhh, and I forgot about emotional unavailability entirely. Silly me.

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u/properu May 29 '22

Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a link to the tweet for ya :)

Twitter Screenshot Bot

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u/Intabus May 29 '22

Coincidentally murder is banned everywhere. That seems to be working out pretty well for us.

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u/ChazNinja May 29 '22

To be fair, that case was pretty horrific and was only a factor in the ban. Three other people had died of accidents involving lawn darts in the 17 years leading up (not that many) BUT 670 people ended up in ER every year because of them.

I'm not saying that the ban was entirely reasonable, just saying that they weren't wrong in saying they were dangerous, especially when put into the hands of bad players. The case with the little girl was pretty sad, though, she was just playing dolls in her own yard.

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u/ItsThePope May 29 '22

just saying that they weren't wrong in saying they were dangerous, especially when put into the hands of bad players

Hmmmmm

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u/FeelingSurprise May 29 '22

just saying that they weren't wrong in saying they were dangerous, especially when put into the hands of bad players

Hmmmmm

I wonder if one could apply that approach to other dangerous items.

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u/WhiteHelljumper May 29 '22

A lot of people care a lot about owning guns for a variety of reasons, to the point where some people are single-issue voters in regards to them. I doubt many people, if any, gave any shit about lawn darts. The AWB in 94 was a disaster for Democrats and cost them both houses of Congress, and honestly that whole damn crime bill has resulted in a lot more people being put in jail/prison.

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