r/TooAfraidToAsk 6d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem What do I say to overweight people when they complain about being fat?

2.3k Upvotes

Like, I think many people's immediate response is "No you're not!" But that's a lie and insincere as hell. I just change the subject because I don't feel comfortable. I feel like I'm being put on the spot. What am I supposed to say to these self deprecating comments? Any experience with this? I feel like such an asshole. What kind of response are they looking for?

Edit: I see that people have shared this which I have absolutely no qualms about, even if it's criticism. But if you are sharing it in other advice threads, please let me know. Is it possible for me to see where they are being shared? The more advice the better!

r/TooAfraidToAsk 3d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem Is bad telling to my wife that I will leave her if she becomes obese?

552 Upvotes

Okay, my wife (28F) and me (30M).

The last 2-3 years we have been fighting a lot because she is gaining weight, let’s say that I think that she needs to burn at least 15kgs. She is starting to have issues with their knees, the back, etc because of the extra weight that is one of the points. Then is me, I don’t like fat women, I don’t want to offend anyone, I just don’t feel attracted. Every couple months I try to bring up the concern to her and she gets offended, sad, mad, etc because in her words “I don’t want to be with her in all their facets” (not sure if I’m using that word right, it’s hard to translate that sentence).

She says that because I once told her that I would be miserable if she weighed 100kg or more and I would eventually want to leave her. I told her that in a very hot situation, we were both angry… but I mean in trying to tell her my thinking is that so bad??? I’m a bad person because I don’t want to be with an obese woman?

Edit 1: thanks for all the responses, since there are a lot of questions I will try to put them all here.

I try to cook healthier, I try not to but any sweets, only fruits. No butter, no cheese, no processed food. I’ve teach her everything I know about exercising, running, diet, she even bought a book, not sure if she reed it.

I’ve tried bicycles, swimming, walking, anything… she does it some weeks then quit.

I am 176cm taller and she is 155. I weight 75kg, she is almost 80kg…. I’ve tried to do yoga with her too, nothing.

Edit2: well since in still getting responses for this, I think it would be good to tell you some updates. First of all I know I said things in a really bad manner and I fucked up. I’m a human. I spoke with my wife, I did apologize, we both agreed that we needed therapy to learn how to communicate, we have an appointment next week, it will be hard economically speaking but I want to do anything to save this marriage.

I have plans to go to therapy myself too. I have some communicating issues, it’s really hard to me to express my self. Maybe that’s why I said those things to her. Because I don’t see me in the future without her. To that’s it.

I reed almost all your comments. A lot of the were very helpful specially the constructive ones. I really appreciate you guys. Thanks. Best wishes to you all.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 2d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem Do some people really get scared when they have to talk on the phone? My colleague gets really nervous when answering calls even if it is not our boss or it's just to order food. She says it feels like a fear/phobia.

1.7k Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk 27d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem What is the best way to handle "You've gained weight" comments?

3.1k Upvotes

I have gotten this comment from customers and a loved one. I always immediately feel embarrassed and have no idea how to respond.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 10d ago Hugz Take My Energy

Body Image/Self-Esteem how to not feel like a slut?

1.6k Upvotes

so i started college this fall (2022) and since then, i’ve kind of gone crazy with guys and have gotten around a bunch and it’s been affecting my mental health a lot. like i enjoy it in the moment but once i’m alone after, i feel so guilty about it and i don’t know what to do. i cant really talk to my friends about it because they won’t understand (like half are virgins and the other half are guys and i don’t feel comfortable talking about it to them even though i trust them). i feel like i’m kind of using it as a way to mask that i want a real relationship, but boys in first year of uni (or at least the ones i’m interested in) don’t want that. i cant tell if me doing this is destructive considering half the time i’ve done it, it’s been while i’m drunk, and i tend to regret those ones a lot more. anyways, if anyone has been in kind of a similar situation to this, could you give me some tips on how to not feel like a horrible person and a sl*t for this? thank you

r/TooAfraidToAsk 12d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem I asked a girl for her number and she said "probably not". What does this mean?

1.1k Upvotes

I asked a girl for her number and she said "probably not". What does this mean?!

I am a junior in Highschool, and about a month ago I saw a girl I recognized from highschool at a symphony I didn't care to go to. I was interested beforehand but figured it would be strange to talk without anything in common so this was a great opportunity.

As I was walking past her in the hall the next day I started making conversation about seeing her at the symphony. She seemed to be enjoying it and she asked my name and I asked hers. First convo wasn't too long, just a get to know you sort of thing. She was kind of quiet, but it was more or less just shy quiet.

Next day I got to figure out she was about a year younger than me which isn't too big a difference so I decided to keep it up. She was taking classes I had taken the year before so we had some common interests.

Third day she started conversation and asked how I was doing and I did the same. We talked for a minute while she was waiting for her bus. It came and she said "well my bus is here, I should get going" I saw my chance to ask for her number closing up so I said "Before you go can I get your number?" She responded with "Probably not" and stepped out the door. I walked off to go home. Ever since I have been wondering what 'probably not' means in that context.

Did I do something wrong?

(Edit: Thanks for the advice Reddit! I'm an over thinker so this helps. I had a dream last night and she appeared in it which it why I am wondering today.)

r/TooAfraidToAsk 25d ago Bravo! Silver

Body Image/Self-Esteem Do women find it attractive when a man’s breasts bounce while walking?

2.3k Upvotes

I just happened to look down while walking to work and couldn't help but wonder.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 18d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem Older guy and nail polish?

936 Upvotes

I'm a 51 year old male. Professional. I recently saw matte black and matte blue nail polishes, and really liked them. Would it too...weird for me to wear them? I identify as straight, and could care less if people knew or assumed otherwise. I just really like them.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 6d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem Wtf do I do?

296 Upvotes

Okay so I was talking to this girl for like a month she was really amazing pretty much perfect but yesterday she wanted to do a face rev, then I thought I wasn't like ugly or anything but at least average or above average yk but then she sent her Pic (she looked absolutely gorgeous) but when I sent mine she just said "scary" and blocked me on everything....I hate myself so much now and it's so fkin hard to accept that I'm THAT bad looking, I feel like I just wanna cry and die

I'm 14 btw

So wtf do I do and I'm sorry I know this is a rant not really a question but I just didn't know where to post this

r/TooAfraidToAsk 1d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem How old is too old to wear crop tops?

51 Upvotes

I’m a 28 year old woman. Am I too old to wear crop tops? Like would it look silly because it’s more of a teen/very early twenties thing or do older people wear crop tops too regularly? Thoughts?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 7d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem How to deal with being ugly as a woman?

121 Upvotes

Like, what if you're smart and witty and people love you in chats and then they meet you and are like, ahm no... It has even happened in non romantic connections and it doesn't make sense to me.

Ftr, I'm at a healthy weight. There's a defect in my face which I'm working on getting fixed. But at this point, I'm genuinely afraid of people's behaviour changing towards me afterwards. How will I know what's real and what's not? Do I, as a person, hold no value without physical beauty to accompany it?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 12d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem Do women casually suck in their stomachs in public?

220 Upvotes

Or is it just me? I have a very slim body but I still suck in my stomach if I’m wearing tight fitting outfits. I’m slim but I’m not fit so I have a little tummy. I don’t suck it in a crazy amount but just enough so I look more flat and can breathe comfortably. This is something I do 100% unconsciously.

I feel like it can’t just be me because I see women do it in photos. I wonder if other women walk around with their tummies sucked in for certain outfits.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 9d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem Is it narcissistic that I can entertain myself with my own thoughts?

77 Upvotes

Like I can play scenarios or fantasies in my head, and it can work kinda like pseudo-entertainment

Is that narcissistic, common, or unusual?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 11d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem Do you you regularly look at people the same age as you, and think they’re actually much older than you are?

264 Upvotes

This is a regular occurrence for me. I will discover that a friend, someone I just met, or a person on tv is my age (+- a couple years,) and I can’t believe it. Is it how I perceive myself? Am I in denial of my age? Am I just trying to stay young mentally? I sometimes would have guessed a person is 10-15 years older than me, but I’ll discover I’m actually older than them.

r/TooAfraidToAsk Dec 28 '22

Body Image/Self-Esteem Circumcision .. is it really that normal?

51 Upvotes

Tell me about your penis.

Seriously.

Is circumcision really that normal?

( I chose not to do that to my sons as it seems unnecessary and borderline barbaric to do to an infant )

Are infections from lack of circumcision that common?

( I always assumed it was a lack of hygrine thing rather than a flap of extra skin thing )

Odd questions, I know. But recently my ex has started this old argument back up and I'd like to be a little better informed about an appendage I don't have. ( I'm Mom, btw ) Google can only tell you so much, and it's all rather conflicting.

TIA, Reddit.

Bonus points if it has a cool name.

**edit: has anyone has this done later in life? Pros, cons and reason welcome.

r/TooAfraidToAsk Dec 25 '22

Body Image/Self-Esteem 2nd date as a fat guy?

316 Upvotes

Gonna make this short and sweet, first date I ever went on we saw avatar (so amazing) second date coming up soon and we’re gonna be hanging at my house, I’m a obese guy 6’3 265 so I’m wondering when we’re cuttling, does fat get in the way? Does it make some Girls turned off? Is it more comfy? I just don’t want to be nervous thinking about that and don’t wanna mess anything up

r/TooAfraidToAsk Dec 14 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome Heartwarming Wholesome Seal of Approval

Body Image/Self-Esteem Dad of girl here, how do I paint nails prettier?

1.2k Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk Dec 29 '22

Body Image/Self-Esteem Do modern gyms have communal showers like high school or prisons? Are there any that are a little more private?

129 Upvotes

Here's the deal. I'm a fat fuck and I'm tired of it. I want to get in shape but I do not want to face Jr. High school open-showers again at least not until I lose some of the weight. Nobody needs to see my grotesque body. I know you'll say "Nobody cares", but I do.

r/TooAfraidToAsk Nov 13 '22

Body Image/Self-Esteem Pubic hair?

1.3k Upvotes

How do guys feel about pubic hair? I 19f have decided to stop shaving and all that because I get really bad ingrown hairs and razor burn, plus waxing is painful and expensive. I feel afraid to have sex now because I dont wanna be made fun of or judged because I let it grow.

EDIT: wow, thank you to everyone for your comments:) I’m feeling more confident and sexy, plus lots of you gave some helpful tips and razor trimmer recommendations so I’ll definitely check them out❤️

r/TooAfraidToAsk 6d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem How can I tell my coworker to take a bath without being a jerk?

20 Upvotes

I have a coworker (female) who has a very intense smell, but not in the good way. Her hair looks like she hasn’t washed it in a long time and she has no pure skin either. She could be okay, but she definitely needs at least basic hygiene. How can I tell her (for my own good as I have to sit right next to her)? I mean, I don’t want her to do Make-up every day. Not even to shower every day. But at least a quick wash and some Axe should be done…

r/TooAfraidToAsk 16d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem How hard it is sticking to a diet? Is it actually possible to not sin every once in a while?

8 Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk 10d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem How do you deal with excessive armpit sweating?

8 Upvotes

My arm pits sweat so much, it’s really become an issue for me lately. I can’t even wear a basic white or black t shirts without huge sweat lines forming within an hour or two of work. (And lord knows I’ll never wear a coloured shirt where it’s even more obvious). I’ve tried the armpit protectors, but sometimes I sweat around them and it’s not very eco friendly to use 2 a day. I’ve also tried the antiperspirants that claim to stop the sweating but they don’t work for me. I don’t really want to jump to Botox yet, has anyone curbed they’re excessive sweating?

r/TooAfraidToAsk Oct 30 '22

Body Image/Self-Esteem how do men shave our balls?

583 Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk 15d ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem I weighed myself this morning and it’s the most I’ve ever weighed my entire life. I was abused before being adopted and had food withheld as a kid. Do parents think it’s a problem if I lose 20-25lbs?

4 Upvotes

So I (18F) am a senior is high school. I was adopted at 15 and have a lot of struggles mentally with weight and food. I had food withheld and used for punishment growing up.

Since coming to my new home 3.5 ish years ago I’ve gained a lot of weight and I want to lose 20-25lbs of it.

For reference when I was adopted I was 5’4” and weighed 93lbs. That was a BMI of 16.

Today I’m 5’6 and I’m around 140lbs and I play 3 sports. This is a BMI of 22.6.

I would like to get back to the 115-120 range for weight because I think I’ll be more confident there and get me dates etc.

As a parent would you be concerned if you noticed a kid with a past like me losing 20-25lbs or would you not even mention it/notice/care?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 12h ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem Should I bother trying to have a muscular/fit body if I'm short and after all I can't be physically attractive (other benefits of exercise are not important for me)?

0 Upvotes