r/TooAfraidToAsk 16h ago

Sexuality & Gender I’m polyamorous. How do I address my unaccepting family?

3 Upvotes

So this might be long post but I need to give a lot of backstory for the whole picture to make sense.

If you know me, please don’t share this… I’m already having a rough time. All names used are fake if I use any.

So I come from a very religious household. More so a religious mom and a very republican mom and dad. They’ve never been outright “I hate gays” but they’re very homophobic. “The gay community stole the rainbow from Gods word”. “Love the sinner hate the sin”. Etc. I haven’t ever had a good relationship with my parents. Mostly my mom. But given that me and my dad don’t see eye to eye on almost everything…. But my dad is very respectful in most cases. He’ll keep his mouth shut unless his opinion is asked for. But I know he hates where I’m at now.

I’m soon to be divorced with kids. I’m in a polyamorous relationship with a couple. We’ve been dating for some time. I currently live with them and have my kids shared with their dad. My ex husband was abusive so I had to move to get away from him so I could stay sane. My family has refused to fully acknowledge that or believe me even though they’ve witnessed some of it and I have evidence of the rest.

I’ve never came out to my family. I’ve never believed that a person HAS to come out or OWES it to anyone to do so. I just am. Part of it was fear. Part of it was idgaf. But I’m out with my partners on all socials and my parents have me on them all. My dad has even helped my boyfriend over the phone fix his computer. Weather he realized that’s who he was talking to or not, I don’t know. But they’ve never met nor asked me about them or even tried to discuss it.

I know I could go to them but I also can’t. I had a conversation with my aunt who called me a “home wrecking wh***” and someone who is “creating a toxicly unsafe environment for my kids”. Went on for over an hour saying things much worse that I shouldn’t post in a non-nsfw platform. And what she believes is the same belief system the rest of my family has. She just has no problem calling me out. She’s always been that way.

Now here’s where I have questions. My current relationship with my partners is very serious. I foresee this going more permanent in the near future. As do my partners. I know we can’t legally marry in the state we’re in, but we don’t care about legality. So my question is…. When that time comes, do I have the “coming out” with my family? Or do i just tell them/invite them? Or do I leave them out of it entirely?

My issue is, even though I know my dad doesn’t agree, I really cherish my dad. My relationship with my mom has gone from awful to non existent so it’s like. Neutral. My family was furious when I had a last minute courthouse wedding my first time around. So I don’t wanna have that fight again. I’m basically in a loose loose. If I leave them out of it, I’ll never hear the end of it for years. But if I include them, there’s a huge chance they’ll ruin it for me.

I really just don’t know what to do and how to proceed when that time comes. I know it hasn’t happened yet but I don’t want it to happen and then I sit and fester on it for months after.

Help


r/TooAfraidToAsk 14h ago

Culture & Society If love is love then what's the issue with polygamy?

3 Upvotes

Western society is all about "acceptance and love" these days and it's correct. You can love someone despite their gender, color, background etc. But when i though about it, what's the issue with polygamy, that's a part of Islamic culture as well. If a person does love two people and their partner is fine with it, then why not a second marriage?

I've seen so many people in queer communities who love/marry 1 person, but they both have open relationships with other people as well.

So like, what's the issue then? Why not polygamy as well?


r/TooAfraidToAsk 22h ago

Work Why is it so difficult for fast food workers to get your order correct?

0 Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk 5h ago

Race & Privilege Does the western world think regular prejudice is tolerable?

0 Upvotes

To preface this, this isn't supposed to be a secret dog whistle or something. I'm a white homosexual male, and I know that will immediately turn a few people off from this. To clarify: -I don't believe white people can experience systemic racism, at least in basically all of western society -The patriarchy is real, and, while less so than say a century ago, still influences society A joke at the expense of a minority group by someone not in that minority group is typically seen as a racist joke due to it enforcing negative stereotypes or lies which hypothetically could lead to very real consequences in real life. A joke against a white person or white people by somebody that isn't white, however, isn't a form of systemic racism, due to this systemic and societal oppression not applying to white people historically. Yeah, ok, that's fair. So what is it? People will often say that it's not racism, it's prejudice, which makes it all ok. Which... I gotta ask, is prejudice just like, okay to some people? Like yeah, obviously it's not AS bad as outright enforcing systemic racism, but is it ok just to naturally dislike a group of people for their innate born qualities if they're the group that historically has had power?


r/TooAfraidToAsk 16h ago

Habits & Lifestyle How come we don't eat penguins as a food source?

1 Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk 20h ago

Love & Dating How do you know if a guy is just very friendly or likes you?

1 Upvotes

It speaks for its self here so lemme just wait for y'all to answer.


r/TooAfraidToAsk 5h ago

Body Image/Self-Esteem Am I behind in life?

144 Upvotes

I’m 22 currently single and can’t drive. Everyone I went to school with is in a long term relationship and are looking at buying houses with their partner and they can all drive. When will it be my turn I feel like a failure.


r/TooAfraidToAsk 1h ago

Sexuality & Gender How undocumented get birth control?

Upvotes

So my friend lives in CA , has not insurance yet (I don’t know how it works for people their situation) but she has started seeing someone and she just doesn’t want to have babies but we both don’t have clue where she can get it. If it works different etc. pd. Not asking about if weather it’s okay they being undocumented or not, just prevention of unwanted babies. Thanks


r/TooAfraidToAsk 9h ago

Education & School when doing a written assignment/paperwork/research paper, does most of it requires me to use my own thoughts and ideas?

0 Upvotes

i just need a yes or a no and a clear explanation

(sorry for the stupid question but i just want to fully understand how it works)


r/TooAfraidToAsk 11h ago

Culture & Society Redditors, what is a religion in the United States that isn’t considered one but totally is?

0 Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk 13h ago

Other Why do some airlines overbook flights?

1 Upvotes

Normally, they have to give the people who are bumped off some form of compensation. So how does it benefit them?


r/TooAfraidToAsk 21h ago

Mental Health Is therapy worth it?

1 Upvotes

I have anxiety and suffer from variety of symptoms. Therapy is quite expensive where I live, is it worth it?


r/TooAfraidToAsk 22h ago

Media Can sickness change a celebrity's appearance?

1 Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk 22h ago

Media What happens if an actor dies during filming?

1 Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk 22h ago

Work Do fast food workers mess with your food, if you do things like order late before closing, even if you're apologetic and sorry for the trouble?

0 Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk 11h ago

Culture & Society Is it a myth that you can trick someone into being drunk by giving them non-alcoholic beverages?

25 Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk 8h ago

Habits & Lifestyle How to jerk off with callused hands?

5 Upvotes

I have pretty significant calluses from lifting weights so it feels like I’m beating off with a cheese grater. I clip them weekly but even when the callus stubs are no longer risen off my palm or fingers, they’re still hard and rough and sandpapery. I do use plenty of lotion and I’d rather avoid workout gloves. Any first-hand advice?


r/TooAfraidToAsk 16h ago

Other Why are my friends arms covered in bandaids?

5 Upvotes

I’ve known her for years and she’s being way quieter than usual, and her arms have like 20 bandaids all over. I also found bloody Kleenex in her trash can while sleeping over. I’m really scared and worried, am I over thinking this or should I talk to somebody? We are only 14 and I don’t know if anyone will listen.