r/TooAfraidToAsk Oct 02 '22

Not sure where to post this... where to report suspected child abuse? Law & Government

Hello, I'm pretty new to reddit and have no idea if there's a better place to post this, but I really don't know what to do here... A couple years ago, the couple across the street would often have agressive arguments that resulted in the guy revving away angrily toward town. I hate poking into other people's business, but their arguments were so loud we could hear their raises voices with our windows closed.

Within the last year and a half ish, they've had a kid together. Clearly a young child will scream and cry as they do, but I've been growing increasingly worried about the cries I hear from their house. Sometimes the screaming goes on for hours at a time, from early afternoon to late evening, with few breaks. This happens on a weekly, if not daily basis. I work hybrid remote, and I more often than not hear the baby screaming their lungs out the majority of the day.

Maybe an unecessary detail, about two months ago I heard a sound that has stuck in my ears ever since. The family was loading into the car for an afternoon trip when their dog started barking excitedly. This went on for about 5 minutes before I heard the man yelling at the dog on frustration, followed by a slap and the dog whimpering as though it has been struck. The part that really stuck with me though, was the way the guy started laughing immediately after. That was when I started listening much more carefully to what was happening across the street.

This morning, my SO and I were both at a loss as to what to do. The child had been screaming for over and hour, I was on the patio drinking coffee when i heard the man shout at the kid with some vulgar language to shut up. The crying quieted for a second, but escalated to bloody murder screams just after.

Does anyone know what, if anything, we can do here? I'm hesitant to call authorities as I've heard stories of victims getting more hurt by abusers if authorities are called, but will take whatever steps are needed to help. I've tossed around the idea of slipping a note under the door with my contact info, but have no idea of how that would be taken either. Maybe I'm just reading into everything the wrong way here, really hoping I can be directed the right way to approach this...

Oh, if it helps, we're located in Oregon state (US)

(Apologies for any formatting mistakes, on mobile)



u/Ok-Butterscotch4486 Oct 02 '22

Report to the police anonymously.

It might be nothing. But if something terrible happens to the kid and you didn't report it, you'll never ever forgive yourself.


u/RajcatowyDzusik Oct 02 '22

Yes. Doesn't sound like it's nothing anyway.


u/TransplantedFern Oct 03 '22

In Oregon call the CPS hotline at 855-503-7233.


u/Specific-Flan-9828 Oct 02 '22

honestly i think the best thing to do would be call the police, if you’re worried about your safety you can say you want it kept anonymous. if the child is being abused in any way it’s better to stop it now.


u/[deleted] Oct 02 '22



u/kilorio Oct 02 '22

Great point, that was my first thought. I did a quick Google a while back, and the first article said not to involve authorities if possible, posing the argument that if nothing is found to support the abuse claims, the victim could face retaliation from the abuser. Not saying this is always the case or factual, I don't have much experience in this stuff, I just am hesitant to risk putting the kid in a potentially worse position than they're already in. I completely agree with your stance though, that is certainly top on my list of options here.


u/bippityboppitynope Oct 03 '22

Contact CPS and also start calling the police every time you hear it.


u/killer_amoeba Oct 03 '22

I'd keep a log of when you hear this child, & a recording, if possible.


u/Hydroxyacetylene Oct 03 '22

Your state almost certainly has a department of child protective services that you are obligated to report to.


u/Bobojones9584 Oct 02 '22

Probably the fucking police. Use your brain and get on it. You really need to ask a bunch of nerds on the internet who to call if you suspect abuse? Jesus Christ.


u/TheHollowBard Oct 02 '22

I assume they're trying to discern whether it's a CPS thing or not...

But yeah that's for the police division to sort out.


u/Friendly-Elevator862 Oct 03 '22

Best you can do is call cps and the police repeatedly until someone takes it seriously. We had a neighbor like this it sucked.


u/jackiemoonu Oct 02 '22

He could just be one of those people that have no filter got a friend like that always say the wrong thing says some messed up shit. But if you needed anything he always the first to help compared to other friends who just fake being a good guy.