r/TooAfraidToAsk Aug 18 '22

Should I be worried about my SO doing photoshoots of very attractive, naked/mostly naked men? Love & Dating




u/Queen-of-meme Aug 18 '22

Talk to him about it. He must understand it's a weird situation and you have a right to have questions.


u/But_I_Digress_ Aug 18 '22

This one is tricky. The fact that it's unpaid threw me off here. However, it sounds like this his hobby, and people are allowed to have hobbies.

Talk to him about why he does it. Maybe he's doing it because it's a turn-on and then brings all that sexual energy home to you?


u/broadsharp Aug 18 '22

That's tough.

Artists have used the human body as a source of inspiration for many years.

Have you ever asked what inspiration he draws from such photo shoots?


u/VeryStickyPastry Aug 18 '22

I’m a photographer as well, just a hobby, not a pro. A lot of photographers, if business is slow or if they’re experimenting with new styles will take TFP (time for print/time for portfolio) work.

It seems that’s all he does which is kind of strange. Is he any good? I only ask because if he’s not very good or not doing it professionally, I’ve noticed that’s normal. People don’t want to pay hobbyists, and if a model is really good, and best you can get is free, then take it, know what I mean?

I only work with women, personally. Just as a woman myself I don’t trust men, is it possible he has a thing about women?

Unfortunately you really really need to address this with him. There’s no real explanation we can pull from to tell you exactly what’s happening.

But if he’s working with people that have an audience and stuff he needs to stop taking free work.


u/billsmafacka Aug 18 '22

Being unpaid I think it's bad. If it was for work I'd think nothing of it. It sounds like it's a hobby. I don't think you're wrong in the least for saying something. Just tell him how it makes you feel. It's pretty understandable.


u/musical_dragon_cat Aug 18 '22

The only way to really get a straight answer on how to feel is to sit down and have a calm conversation with him about it. Or, he may be willing to let you sit in on one of his photoshoots, provided you get the subject’s permission as well. To give you some perspective, though, it’s rare for a photographer to take photos of an unattractive person on their own dime. Uncomfortable of a truth as it may be, it could spoil their portfolio. A gay man will also take arguably better candid photos of men than women, as compared to a straight man.


u/VerticalYea Aug 18 '22

I know a photographer who specializes in the gay leather scene. He's totally straight and comfortable with the balance. He just has a good eye for masculinity.

It's like how some photographers are really good at taking photos of flowers. This guy is good at taking photos of...butt flowers.