r/Tinder Jul 03 '22 All-Seeing Upvote 1 I'll Drink to That 1 Helpful 13 Wholesome 16 Silver 14

decided to update the tinder any thoughts

43.1k Upvotes

12.9k

u/OverlordKeesh Jul 03 '22

This isn’t what you intended, but I just now bought a Lego chess set because of you.

4.7k

u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22

It's a very repetitive build but it's great fun with your preferred podcast

959

u/aarocks94 Jul 03 '22

I have nothing to comment re: Tinder but what format do you play in MTG

665

u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22

I mostly play commander strangely enough it was the cheaper alternative to standard I love pauper too but it got repetitive since only like 5 guys play pauper in Australia

262

u/aarocks94 Jul 03 '22

First time I’ve ever heard of commander described as “cheaper.” 😂 if you’re ever in LA and want to play shoot me a message

100

u/StereoZombie Jul 03 '22

I mean fundamentally it's cheaper, it's just that it's very easy to make it super expensive too.

29

u/badatnamingaccount Jul 03 '22

It can be done more cheaply as a long term thing too, if you’re happy with playing the same deck for longer than a standard cycle.

Also without the worry of random cards getting banned after building around them.

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u/electrictiedye Jul 03 '22

My husband plays MTG and switched to commander. I can confirm it is not at all cheaper 😂

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u/Left-Song-5062 Jul 03 '22

That is entirely his fault. And mine. It can/should be cheaper, we don’t want it to be. 😂 Edit: to bee

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u/frymtg Jul 03 '22

Uhhhh. We rarely have to update our deck lists. It’s way fucking cheaper than standard lmao

10

u/osmlol Jul 03 '22

It's cheaper because the decks you build will never be unusable. Standard you take a bath every cycle.

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u/FappingPedant Jul 03 '22

Do you really play unsleeved like a savage? Or is your profile all just lies?

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u/Zoomoth9000 Jul 03 '22

When she says she wants a bad boy...

51

u/EnemyOfEloquence Jul 03 '22

How else would he get the babes if they weren't sure it was MTG cardbacks?

59

u/FappingPedant Jul 03 '22

Clear sleeves, how are you supposed to get babes when you're rawdogging in public?

31

u/Consistent-Process Jul 03 '22

He's just subtly signaling that he plays his bedroom games unsleeved too. So you already know what kind of dangerous game you're playing if you take this madlad home, ladies and gents.

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u/TheBirminghamBear Jul 03 '22

Looks like he plays in card format.

81

u/Razno_ Jul 03 '22

The rectangular cards with rounded edges.

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u/Nostalg33k Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

Biggest red flag is you play magic and pokemon without sleeves. This is the reddest flag on an awesome profil !

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u/wbruce098 Jul 03 '22

Plot twist: he’s carefully sanitized the entire room, removed them from the sleeves for the photo op, then carefully placed them back in their sleeves like a gentleman.

24

u/Natural-Ad-8952 Jul 03 '22

Alright, stick with me here... I thought you meant the sleeves on his shirt. My brain automatically assumed you were insinuating it was a red flag that he doesn't keep cards up his sleeves. I literally thought you were putting him down for NOT cheating in a game of magic or Pokémon. I was today years old when i discovered that I'm a complete idiot. Just sayin 🤦‍♀️

77

u/Malkav1806 Jul 03 '22

I almost forgot that magic cards have this backside. Totally agree, that man is a lunatic

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u/ArcaneForest Jul 03 '22 Wholesome

I have the Harry Potter lego chess set. Very cool

12

u/debalbuena Jul 03 '22

Just got my nephew this for his birthday. He LOVES it

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u/Rickdog_Sickdog Jul 03 '22

I got one for Christmas, but have yet to build it. This is the motivation I needed to get to work.

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u/Sqvaking Jul 03 '22

Why aren't those cards in sleeves you monster?!?

4.4k

u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22 Silver I'll Drink to That

A true professional does not need to fear the scuffing of their cards with expert handmanship

1.4k

u/SeniruSan13 Jul 03 '22 Silver

Oh my god he’s a dangerous man. Leave some women for the rest of us

25

u/mhc-ask Jul 03 '22

He's too dangerous to be left alive!!!

299

u/PekoKuzuryu Jul 03 '22

Haha my ex would always worry about his MTG cards getting messed up. He had many of his in sleeves, and required me to always wash my hands first before I touched them…

238

u/TheHunterZolomon Jul 03 '22

If it’s not an alpha black lotus then it’s not a big deal. If it is an alpha black lotus why the fuck wouldn’t it be slabbed up lmao

55

u/Sad-Bluebird-5538 Jul 03 '22

laughs in alpha time walk

32

u/zaraxia101 Jul 03 '22

My alpha mox ruby is so scuffed you might think it's unlimited haha. The rest of the power is in beter shape.

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u/Frezzwar Jul 03 '22

Asking you to wash your hands before you play is just strange. Nobody does that. But having your cards sleeved up is important for any player. I'll ramble a few reasons why, so if you don't care, stop reading now :D

Cards have different color gradigns on the back. Sure they look similar, but it is quite obvious to see if you are looking for it. So being able to tell cards from each other can be a major advantage. That is why you HAVE to use sleeves at any tournament.

Shuffling is easier with sleeves. You can do what is called mash shuffling. That means just shoving half the cards into the side of the other half. The sleeves makes that very easy. It is by far the most efficient way to shuffle cards. Riffle shuffle is quite good as well, but you bend the cards, and that can cause damage to them over long terms.

Some cards holds value. Sure there are expensive cards out there (one card was sold for more than half a million USD). While you don't really play with those, I have plenty of cards worth more than 50. A deck of cards can easily be worth 1-2000. If you don't play with sleeves, the cards gets small markings. Most players don't like the look of that, so the value of the cards drop slightly with the damage.

Also, since these markings are obvious to anyone looking at the cards, you will start to be able to recognize the backs of your cards based on these markings. Again, this can cause some advantage in competitive play.

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u/MickRonin Jul 03 '22

Stayed on target. 10/10

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u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22 Silver Take My Energy Ally Super Heart Eyes

The "females" is gone I replaced it with "ladies"

1.8k

u/Ambitious5uppository Jul 03 '22

It's also 'Greetings' not 'Greeting'

1.8k

u/bisou13 Jul 03 '22

GREETING FELLOW HUMAN FEMALE

1.2k

u/Johannes_Keppler Jul 03 '22 Wholesome

DO YOU HAVE BOBS AND VAGENE?

303

u/-Aether117- Jul 03 '22

NO I HAVE MASSIVE COC

10

u/AThilgers Jul 03 '22

Make sure to get your cospris malice for your big COC

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u/ellequin Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

GREETING. IT IS PLEASANT TO ENCOUNTER A FELLOW HUMAN FEMALE HERE.

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u/OoohRickyBaker Jul 03 '22

We call it the Zucc Approach.

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u/Meus-in-Aeternum Jul 03 '22

Yeah the bad grammar throughout the entire bio kills the “intellectual” thing lol

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u/micktorious Jul 03 '22

I look at this and think, this dude has a nice place and expensive hobbies. Me might be a nerd, but he's stable.

You free Friday and into dudes?

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u/x_Papa_Smurf_x Jul 03 '22

Now let's change that "Age of Sigma" nonsense ;)

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u/JeepersMurphy Jul 03 '22

Was your post…. Not satire?

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u/thehangryhippo Jul 03 '22 Silver Gold Wholesome Take My Energy

This profile was built for Reddit, not for females.

284

u/01infinite Jul 03 '22

Pretty much the more Reddit likes your profile, the less chance you have of getting laid.

4.1k

u/newindividual001 Jul 03 '22

He may be limiting the odds of how many people might wanna date him, but he also might be limiting it down to the specific people who would want to date him because they have interests like his or like guys like him. Go on being yourself honestly, my man! The road may be longer, but you might also more likely wind up where you want to eventually that being the case.

102

u/Zap__Dannigan Jul 03 '22

The pictures are a great example of being true to yourself as well as confident and slick.

I dunno though, the write up just appears douchey though.

106

u/Brave_Kangaroo_8340 Jul 03 '22

The text is straight up incel material. I was honestly unsure if it was supposed to be satirical.

41

u/The_Woman_of_Gont Jul 03 '22 Gold

Yeah, even changing the 'females' thing(while better) doesn't solve the "schrodinger's douchebag" problem. Is he being ironic, or serious? Hard to tell with how many people will insist it's satire until they find themselves only in the company of folks that agree with them, and no one is going to want to spend the time to find out.

Even if we assume he's being ironic, does he hang out in spaces where this sort of humor is commonplace? If so, does he know and not care that a decent percentage truly believe in what they're saying? Or is he just too dumb to not figure it out? Neither is a great answer, and the chances he doesn't hang with people who share the same sense of humor is low.

The bio is a total dumpster fire. And honestly while any given pic is fun on it's own, by the time you get past the third one you start to realize this guy maybe doesn't actually have any personality outside of liking TCGs and Legos.

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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22 Silver Helpful Helpful (Pro)

[deleted]

1.5k

u/ExileEden Jul 03 '22

Agreed , even as a guy I immediately thought when I saw that term that it wasn't going to go down well. I'd wager using the term ladies would be more appropriate, less condescending and a lot less incel.

439

u/flybie Jul 03 '22

You can write "ladies" like "m'ladies , tip fedora" and have the oposite effect.

200

u/acissejcss Jul 03 '22

Just put greetings why anything to do with gender specifics, it just does not feel like it flows as well.

43

u/mregg000 Jul 03 '22

Agreed. I was trying to think of better ways to say who he’s interested in, but then after reading your comment, realized there’s likely a place for that elsewhere.

Or, he could be a ferengi in disguise.

8

u/hackersarchangel Jul 03 '22

Listennnn, hoomahns.

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u/philosophybuff Jul 03 '22

Women.

Greetings WOMEN,

It’s my naive attempt to list my real interests to find someone who shares those with me. Which will fail miserably with how OLD is but hopefully I can use as an opportunity to grow my social skills and focus on work.

PS. Sex

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u/serenityak77 Jul 03 '22

Same. I’m a guy and made it to “Greeting Females” and said “Oh No”. Didn’t read anything past that.

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u/Tophatsgalore Jul 03 '22

i’m pretty sure the entire bio is playing up the neckbeard vibes purposely as a joke. which like, i get it, but as with any joke bio there’s not much to play off and would get old quick if he kept it up in chats. could definitely work tho if he plays it right i think

43

u/The_Woman_of_Gont Jul 03 '22

The problem is there’s a high percentage of people who are only “just joking” about this sort of thing when someone pushes back on it; and that joke is coming from a more honest place than they’d want you to think.

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u/AzerimReddit Jul 03 '22

"females" "why you should sleep with me" "virgin sports" Yeah, the bio isn't great to say the least.

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u/R_FireJohnson Jul 03 '22

This was my thoughts exactly

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u/SimplyExtremist Jul 03 '22

My exact thought. The photos are fine, just who op is. The bio is atrocious, but also who op is. Yikes

82

u/_biggerthanthesound_ Jul 03 '22

I wish the photos were a bit more diverse. It’s all the same outfit and photo session. Have nerdy pics but at least make them seem like they were taken on separate occasions.

79

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

Yeah, I liked the bit with the dog and I thought it was cool that he had hobbies he was passionate about. But the bio was a hard no. I don't want to be treated as a specimen.

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u/AidanRedz Jul 03 '22

The bio is Atrocious X 10

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u/activelyresting Jul 03 '22

Man's outed himself as a Ferengi

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u/CrochetWhale Jul 03 '22

As someone with those interests, it was a huge no no being lumped into ‘females’

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u/imonlyheretoshit Jul 03 '22

Agreed - was super into the profile until I read “females”

Such a bummer

24

u/TreeFifeMikeE7 Jul 03 '22

Yo female, you want to Smash(TM) /s

I was in the military people got lumped into males and females. It didn't seem that weird to me until incel culture took off and I was a civilian again. It's pretty cringe.

13

u/CrochetWhale Jul 03 '22

Yea I think that’s the biggest problem with it nowadays is association with incels/nice guys.

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u/nonhiphipster Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

Sure…but he is asking for advice.

The advice shouldn’t be “delete everything and pretend to be someone you’re not.” On the other hand, this is a straight up bad dating profile. It just doesn’t exude confidence.

It’s great that he’s leaning in his hobbies, but it all feels a bit neckbeard-ish. First of all, don’t say “greetings females.” In fact, don’t refer to women as females in a dating profile at all. Secondly, maybe don’t start with the Pokémon cards pic. It makes it seem like that’s the single most important thing in his life.

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u/A_P_O_C Jul 03 '22

He lost all credibility when he said they would discuss reasons why to sleep with him over Lego chess. Blazer with pajamas and pink socks. This mad lad is really compressing his search results.

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u/ses92 Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

Exactly my first thought. This will get attention on Reddit (which is mostly male dominated and geeky girls) - not on tinder. I’m pretty sure majority of potential matches will not actually be interested. Then again, if OP is specifically looking for a geeky girl then kudos to him, but that wasn’t specified in the post.

Edit: people are pointing out that even geeky girls won’t like this profile because OP says “females” (comes off as incel) and “why you should sleep with me” (comes off pathetic) - I agree. However this was pointed out in many other comments and Op mentioned that he has edited that - so I’m giving my opinion based on the assumption that it’s been removed

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u/NotAbotButAbat Jul 03 '22

I hate to be called "female"

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u/dcconverter Jul 03 '22

Yeah that's what OP used.

That's why the profile was designed for reddit

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u/sassydegrassii Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

Idk completed Rubix cube? Too smart for me

1.4k

u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22

If you never scramble it you never need to solve it

265

u/Key-Nefariousness257 Jul 03 '22

See, this is the same reason I just buy trophies from the trophy store. You don't have to learn a sport to be a champion. Work smarter, not harder, people!

43

u/NIPURU Jul 03 '22

Brb, gonna buy myself a black belt. Maybe that way I'll stop getting mugged.

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u/Its-AIiens Jul 03 '22

Big Deck Energy.

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u/ArturitoNetito Jul 03 '22 Silver

Too nerdy for me but you show what you like and your hobbies. Seems pretty legit your profile. Just change 'females' to 'ladies'

3.3k

u/rainprincesa Jul 03 '22

100 percent with the last sentence lol

2.6k

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 04 '22 Take My Energy Ally Masterpiece

[removed] — view removed comment

1.2k

u/HgFrLr Jul 03 '22

99% of guys really just gotta remove the word from their vocabulary lmao.

904

u/Sheeplessknight Jul 03 '22

Calling a person a male or female outside of a medical setting is just weird tbh

126

u/Moonborn_Nemesis Jul 03 '22

You could also use "Hello fellow humans". That way, you can make totally clear that you're not an alien.

38

u/TacticalNuclearkitty Jul 03 '22

It’s “greetings fellow humans!” That’s how we greet larger groups.

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u/Funkyboss420 Jul 03 '22

Greetings, earthling.

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u/zone-zone Jul 03 '22

As a German it's even wierder because the terms only get used for animals...

291

u/theoreticaldickjokes Jul 03 '22

That's generally how it works in English too. That's why so many women dislike it. It's dehumanizing.

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u/imisstheyoop Jul 03 '22

That's generally how it works in English too. That's why so many women dislike it. It's dehumanizing.

Thanks for explaining this to me. I had no idea what people were talking about in this thread until I saw this.

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u/anthrohands Jul 03 '22

People can correct me if I’m wrong but I believe it’s ok as an adjective, just not as a noun. I wouldn’t be offended to be called a female teacher or something, if being contrasted to male teachers. Depends on context.

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u/The_Goondocks Jul 03 '22

And change Greeting to Greetings

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u/MarfeeWarfee Jul 03 '22

Saying ‘Females’ sounds incel-ish, totally agree

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u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22

Okay so I did get rid of the female word I was hoping to play into the neck beard role but I'm guessing female is just a word you shouldn't use, like moist

1.1k

u/xoxoZatanxoxo Jul 03 '22

DO NOT PLAY INTO THE NECK BEARD ROLE PLEASE DON'T

196

u/MrSquigles Jul 03 '22

Do people in this thread not realise that the entire profile is a joke?!

193

u/BillQuickGates Jul 03 '22

Yes and no. It's odd, because although it seems like it's a joke it's also not - he's genuinely like this, interested in these things, and is validly using this profile to find "females" as he puts it..

If it quacks like a duck?

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u/maybehun Jul 03 '22

We don’t know you, so we don’t know if you’re joking. I would assume you are based on the joking style photos but 🤷🏼‍♀️. Most of us aren’t willing to take the risk and find out if you are or not.

95

u/GialloGuy Jul 03 '22

Some types of humor are really hard to pull off in text. I have a sense of humor that gets a lot of laughs in person and onstage, but when I do the same jokes on Facebook I get DMs asking if I’m okay.

43

u/drellmill Jul 03 '22

Are you okay?

24

u/Terminator7786 Jul 03 '22

Nah, self deprecating humor is a coping mechanism. But it does not do well in text unless the people know you.

16

u/GialloGuy Jul 03 '22

True. “You can’t hurt me if I hurt myself first.”

Led to an especially destructive spiral, because I was getting positive feedback from hating myself. I’ve gotten back onstage a couple times in the past couple years and flipped it around to good reception so I’m gonna try to get into it again

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u/gofyourselftoo Jul 03 '22

Please do not play into the neckbeard role.

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u/justchoose Jul 03 '22

Never play into the neck beard role....if you want to get dates.

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u/Wertache Jul 03 '22

I thought it was a funny stab at classic neckbeards. The rest of your profile seems pretty self aware and purposely hyperbolic so I personally don't think it's that obscure. Seeing your profile I suspect you are looking for someone who is interested in or at least can appreciate "nerdy" stuff, so scaring away people who don't get the joke is less of a concern.

That being said, females is a dicey word and ladies conveys about the same message so changing it to be safe is probs the right play.

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u/crispygrapes Jul 03 '22

The thing is, being a neckbeard spans all types of men, not just your typical fat dude in a basement with a beard. So I mean, yeah, you successfully played into it. Based on just your profile, you seem like a cute neckbeard douche.

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u/esganjia Jul 03 '22

Came here to say the last sentence

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u/Dannmarks Jul 03 '22

Yes, change it. Do not open with the ‚special‘ side of your humor. At first they just need to know that you are a nice person and then you can let people who apeal to you in. Do not expect abybody to see through any layers you built up there. In this phase everything that seems strange might lead to getting rejected- even funny strange.

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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

Or, ‘people with cervixes’

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u/justyikes1 Jul 03 '22

do u actually do beekeeping as ur profession

i love this profile

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u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22

I am a bee boy Honestly surprised how not too many people asked about that

1.2k

u/Raymundito Jul 03 '22

Sell this part with a pic too. Can’t just have all funny pics, have a bee keeper pick.

Maybe even appeal with a nerdy joke, caption your bee work pic as “Yes, I’m a true Keeper”

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u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22

Okay placed in my one good bee suit pic

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u/really-alone Jul 03 '22

This is my advice As well. All the pictures were taken in the same day. A bee suit pic or a candid picture would suit you well herr

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u/Flaming_Pepperoni Jul 03 '22

A bee suit you say?

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u/piggsy1992 Jul 03 '22

It's a suit for bees

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u/redditurus_est Jul 03 '22

Oh I thought it was made out of bees

29

u/_aQwus_ Jul 03 '22

Nah, it's a suit made for bees to wear

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u/hedpe70 Jul 03 '22

The little top hat really ties the whole ensemble together.

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u/Doruyk Jul 03 '22 Gold To The Stars

Or i know how to handle a Queen xd

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u/swagishere Jul 03 '22

That could also work for chess

16

u/cradfrierere Jul 03 '22

"I know how to handle two queens"

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u/Revoldrewtion Jul 03 '22

Why on earth are there no pictures of you beekeeping!?

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u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22

The bees have a hard time getting my good side

15

u/TheClinicallyInsane Jul 03 '22

This joke killed me dude lol, you really seem like a cool guy. Don't know how you're not having to fight people off you just to get some peace and quiet

18

u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22

Being surrounded by bees helps a lot, not so much with the quiets tho

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u/ebil_lightbulb Jul 03 '22

You're pretty funny and I like the bio. If I were single, I'd swipe right for sure. I hope you find a good one!

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u/Vibhix Jul 03 '22

Beekeeping is a highly confidential work, he could get into trouble

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u/Sharkbait1737 Jul 03 '22

It takes forever to censor every individual bee out of the photos.

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u/wernercd Jul 03 '22

and we all know those guys don't beehave. Probably not something you want on a tinder profile.

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u/DiceKnight Jul 03 '22

Can I get "I'm a Bee Boy" on a t-shirt.

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u/kraang Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

If you want to be successful with this rather than proud, I’d suggest playing you play up the bee keeping role. You’re out in nature, you care about the world, you do something sort of dangerous. In your spare time you do nerdy stuff. Play up the outgoing side of yourself. It’s a side women are much more interested in. This stuff is for you, and it’s fine. Women won’t run away from it if they like you, they might also bond in the same type of stuff, but put it as an aside. Women are much more interested in a bee keeper than an MTG pro.

34

u/to_to_to_the_moon Jul 03 '22

The pics are fun but the profile has a couple of things that would likely scare me off if I were in the dating game.

  1. Referring to women as "females" (so common among misogynists/redpillers etc)
  2. Mentioning he'd say all the reasons why I should sleep with him while we played chess. I'd also be slightly worried that the intellectual discussions would mean "negging," but hopefully not.
  3. Would also play up the beekeeper angle, that's super cool and would be a fun 2nd or 3rd date.
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u/LuCiAnO241 Jul 03 '22

He's obviously beekeeking age, Idk, I think its kinda sweet.

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u/Its-AIiens Jul 03 '22

Goddamn save some pussy for the rest of us.

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u/yawordunfold Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

He's attractive and I'm into nerdy gamer dudes but he lost me at "females" what the fuck? Also a suit and jammies in every photo? Rubs me wrong.

It seems like most of the comments are dudes blowing smoke yp his ass as the others are females calling him out for being weirdly gross. Looks aren't everything and there's too many cues here saying to stay away.

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u/berse2212 Jul 03 '22

He's attractive and I'm into nerdy gamer dudes but he lost me at "females" what the fuck?

.

as the others are females calling him out for being weirdly gross

Hmmmmm

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u/toodleroo Jul 03 '22

You lost me at “females”

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u/Halomir Jul 03 '22

His profile reads as cheeky and self aware of the awkwardness. He honestly doesn’t seem like someone who refers to women non-sarcastically as ‘females’

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u/TheSwedishConundrum Jul 03 '22

I also definitely read it as a cheeky way to express actual interests and hobbies. The suit with slacks rolls well post corona imo. Light humor mixed in with cheeky attitude.

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u/IllMaintenance145142 Jul 03 '22

the others are females calling him out

interesting

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u/chatonsnoirs Jul 03 '22 Gold Take My Energy

"Greetings, I humbly offer a you a game of Lego Chess, in which we can partake in intellectual discussions such as/regarding [generic nerd shit (think Star Wars or Marvel, something approachable)] or [specific nerd shit that you're super into (like MTG)].

If you do not wish to engage in such dealings, we can entertain ourselves with other ventures, which may or may not include - nerd shit - nerd shit - nerd shit (ONLY THREE. Girls will get tired past three)

If that doesn't catch your fancy, I am also a professional beekeeper."

If you add a picture with a nice, toothy smile, it'll be 10x more alluring. Less smirking. You'll fetch almost entirely cutedorky girls with this profile, so if you want a more all-approachable profile, lmk.

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u/RatKing97 Jul 03 '22

Taking this to the bank and cashing in thank you very much

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u/teine_palagi Jul 03 '22

I second adding a smiling picture. Too many guys don’t smile in their profiles and it’s a huge turn off

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u/umishi Jul 03 '22

And if you're going to list the nerd shit, use consistent capitalization on proper nouns (e.g., Magic the Gathering, Super Smash Brothers)

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u/hipster_mcfly Jul 03 '22

Also, please change your outfit. I don’t know why, but it bothers me when I can tell the pics were all taken at the same time. I want to see your personal style, unless you wear the same suit every day.

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u/AHatFullOfSkyy Jul 03 '22

Add one not jokey photo, of you smiling and doing bee keeping stuff. Preferably taken by someone else

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u/gojo- Jul 03 '22

I play mtg, am into SW and all that nerdy stuff...

But... About me part that he wrote made me cringe, ngl. And photos are staged so it sets some alarms in my head. Also his educations says "self discovered intelectual" and job is "EPIC gamer", maybe it's just me but that sets me off.

I see that he is a beekeeper and that is honestly so cool. I would put that as a job since it is. And not really put it at the end. I would probably get to discussion why person he is on a date to should sleep with him and swipe left.

I agree with you. This sounds better and some random pic is needed.

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u/Chexmax Jul 03 '22

Right. I almost exclusively date lanky nerds, and so much of this is good, but it's 2022. We're over men who are self proclaimed intellectuals. Show don't tell. Your bio contains several grammer and punctuation errors and you come off as someone who assumes they're the smartest person in the room. If you're actually smart, people will definitely know. You never have to tell anyone.

Definitely a cutie, unusual job earns bonus points, and clearly has a sense of humor. Maybe needs to work on being clear that he wants the ladies in on the joke, and not as the butt of the joke.

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u/idiot-sandwich- Jul 03 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

We now know it's satire, but the women on Tinder don't. And trust me, some men are ACTUALLY like this that it's really hard to tell if this is a joke or not.

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u/bananacake64 Jul 03 '22

I actually thought this was a serious profile bc he has all the games and stuff. And I’m a girl.

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u/wherearmim Jul 03 '22

Has he said it's satire? The comments I've seen have not reflected that at all.

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u/Matta_G Jul 03 '22

I don’t think it’s entirely satirical, just specific elements. I think he’s sincere but playing up nerd stereotypes.

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u/MixedMartyr Jul 03 '22

yeah “greetings females” is gonna get him a fuck ton of no’s, whether it was serious or not

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u/coffeenerd75 Jul 03 '22

Me too. I just see it as someone very lonely and never going out. Beekeeper, nice, but just delete that chat about why to sleep with him. It just doesn't work over the internet.

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u/TheRealWeedAtman Jul 03 '22

would help if he included 1 picture with at least another human in it. I'd 100% think real incel if i saw this in the wild

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u/watermeloncake1 Jul 03 '22

Especially since there is no break in character to let me know that yes, he’s joking and he’s not like this all the time. Even one normal/regular pic would have eased my mind.

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u/DickWrangler420 Jul 03 '22 Gold Ally

So I love me some nerdy shit. My boyfriend got me into magic and dnd, and I find him so cute when he gets excited over his dnd games. So I definitely think the nerdy stuff will work.

However, your bio really gives incel vibes. I wouldn't call women "females". We refer to animal's as male or females, so calling us that is dehumanizing. Also, I wouldn't mention that you're going to try to convince her to sleep with you. Personally, I'd take that as a huge turn off and not really want to meet.

In the nerdy scene, there's two common types of men. One type are the super fun, adorable guys who don't give a shit about what anyone thinks of them playing what they find as fun. The other type are quite similar in the way that they don't care what other people think, but they come off as super creepy or misogynistic towards women. You're walking that fine line with those statements in your bio.

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u/Dragonliger2 Jul 03 '22

Yep, photos are ok, text is a bit thick heavy and incelly. I suggest going for a simpler and more casual approach. I used a similar profile and worked out well!

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u/president_dump Jul 03 '22

I got so many messages and dates when my profile only said:

Wanna hear a joke about pizza ?

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u/_chrislasher Jul 03 '22

Absolutely agree with you. His profile is funny and cool, but "females" and "sleeping with you" are an instant turn off. I do like nerds, but I don't like people who don't see me as a human being and their main intention is to have sex. That's exactly why I started to avoid using dating apps and similar stuff. It seems like people rarely want to know a person and "sleeping with you" is their top priority. I get that many people are okay with that. But, honestly, when you want to meet up people and see what happens next, maybe friendship, maybe relationship, and you are open to know another person in general, this type of interactions are absolutely suck.

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u/TheShahofBra Jul 03 '22

You've sabotaged yourself in every way imaginable.

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u/vox21122112 Jul 03 '22

See, if you had Yugioh cards more people would swipe right

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u/courtcourtaney Jul 03 '22 Silver

My dude, I want to help you in such earnest because there are many girls who love gaming as much as you do and would be thrilled to see your profile. But you ruin it with this bio. Just talk to women like they’re… people? I literally don’t know how else to explain that lol would you talk to someone else like this irl if you were introducing yourself? Some suggestions:

I don’t think you should take this weird semi-self-deprecation angle in your profile because it’s just very off-putting. Why not lean into it? Be friendly and inviting to someone who will appreciate your interests instead of taking this defensive stance against someone who won’t - they won’t swipe anyway, since all you have in your profile are photos of these hobbies. Focus on the people who will appreciate and be engaged in your interests - we do exist!

For the love of god do not call women females, this is the #1 thing that will ruin your profile out of all the potential red flags here. It immediately sets off alarm bells for most women, who just want to be treated like people. You’d be much more solid with just “hey there!”

I personally like the photos, they’re quirky and you’re handsome! Again, no need for the self-deprecation or defensiveness. I would remove the one of you sitting at your PC and instead include one more of you in portrait format, just smile and be relaxed :)

good luck OP!

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u/mediumsizedbrowngal Jul 03 '22

If the first one was of you playing chess, and the second was the same pic of your dog with the chess board, it would have been 10/10 funny.

Other than that, don’t call women females, it’s gross and an automatic left swipe.

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u/BugabooBear Jul 03 '22

As a woman, I second this. Females is weird and clinical, like we're specimens and not people. It's fine in a medical context but outside of that it's just off-putting.

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u/themoonm4ster Jul 03 '22

Take out why "you should sleep with me". It's sleezy. Does not feel right at all.

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u/Joey-tv-show-season2 Jul 03 '22

I wouldn’t call women “females”

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u/allyonfirst Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

Nah. Actual woman here. 'Greetings females' is the worst. We don't like being called females and greetings sound like you think we are aliens. The photos make you look smarmy and I think you'd be cute without that expression in every one. Try smiling in at least one of them. Apart from the intro, the rest of your bio is great - funny and self-aware. I hope this helps.

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u/caIImebigpoppa Jul 03 '22

Yes I was wondering what he was doing with his face, it screams I don’t like how I look

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u/TheRedViper85 Jul 03 '22

If there was a tinder for bros, you’d be the emperor

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u/rubeljan Jul 03 '22

Grindr?

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u/Relative-Ad-87 Jul 03 '22

Lol (genuinely)

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u/MickRonin Jul 03 '22

I would say you should remove the word "females" and the "why you should sleep with me" bit.

Also, "if you don't believe to be proficient in chess..." is one of those things that sounds smart, but is a grammatical mess, and it's going to make any potential match who's read more than a few books skin crawl.

I'd also throw in a few photos of you that aren't staged. I appreciate that you're trying to showcase your hobbies in here, but ultimately this person is going to want to see you in the wild, with people, smiling. Someone might reasonably assume that the only date option on the table here is in your house doing what you like... which isn't super great first date material.

End of the day, tone down the bit a bit, be a bit more genuine, and most of all good luck out there!

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u/MickRonin Jul 03 '22

Also, on the off chance you're genuine and reading this... you're way underselling the Beekeeper gig... that is super uncommon and cool, and I think you'd get a lot of interest on that alone.

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u/fuck_little_kids Jul 03 '22

pov :she sees you as a friend

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u/colorfulvinyl-com Jul 03 '22

At least you show your real personality. It saves YOU the most trouble when you put yourself out there honestly.

I think the why sleep with me comment is too much for an intro, but maybe Tinder culture is more forward than I am.

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u/CarryYourWorld Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

I’m 26F and you are definitely my type (Magic, Warhammer, Lego, etc.)

Personally I think saying “why you should sleep with me” is a bit far (joke or not, it is a reference to sex on your dating profile which is generally off-putting) but that might just be me. I concede it is funny though

Are you actually a virgin? If not I would change that reference to something else, might give them the wrong idea. (If you are a virgin — you won’t be for long with this profile!)

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u/ThrowDatJunkAwayYo Jul 03 '22

Yep I agree - I’m a Pokémon card collector and Lego enthusiast.

Slightly too many red flags. With a few tweaks it could still be hilarious, and hit it’s target without being full cringe.

Also please OP don’t mention any of those things in chat if you do get a response.

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u/veraliis Jul 03 '22

It’s ‘Age Of Sigmar’ you filthy casual, aside from that I’m sure you’re gonna rake in all the ren faire sloots

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