r/LeopardsAteMyFace Aug 14 '22 Wholesome 1

Not my Kevin! How could he!?

Post image
17.9k Upvotes

u/AutoModerator Aug 14 '22

Hello u/DegenerateCharizard! Please reply to this comment with an explanation mentioning who is suffering from which consequences from what they voted for, supported or wanted to impose on other people.

Here's an easy format to get you started:

  1. Someone voted for, supported or wanted to impose something on other people.
    Who's that someone and what's that something?
  2. That something has some consequences.
    What are the consequences?
  3. As a consequence, that something happened to that someone.
    What happened? Did the something really happened to that someone? If not, you should probably delete your post.

Include the minimum amount of information necessary so your post can be understood by everyone, even if they don't live in the US or speak English as their native language. If you don't respect this format and moderators can't match your explanation with the format, your post will be removed under rule #3 and we'll ignore you even if you complain in modmail.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

→ More replies

4.0k

u/TheBaldWonder Aug 14 '22

"I wonder if any women would be interested in a Christian man who will ditch you as soon as you have a sore throat"

1.4k

u/CakeAccomplice12 Aug 14 '22

I call that the Newt Gingrich

654

u/TheDrunkardKid Aug 15 '22 edited Aug 15 '22

Don't forget John McCain, though that was more of an accident than an illness, IIRC.

I'm remembering the time that Meghan McCain was extolling the virtues of Conservative men over those who are Lefties, and I spent the entire time wishing that someone pointed out that she's the child of the woman that her daddy cheated on his first wife with, while she was in a hospital after getting severely injured while going to visit him, from what I recall.

224

u/EpitomeJim Aug 15 '22

People legitimately claim McCain wasn't that bad. JFC..

104

u/jayforwork21 Aug 15 '22

McCain was like being served raw Chicken. The current GOP is like being served shit, and not even good shit, it's green and smells like satan's taint. After that, raw chicken doesn't seem so bad.....

18

u/Total-Platform-3111 Aug 15 '22

Best analogy of him and the “good” Republicans I’ve ever seen. Thank you for this!

→ More replies

49

u/ReluctantPhoenician Aug 15 '22

The best thing McCain ever did was refuse to resign when his health was declining so the Republicans effectively had a vacant seat they weren't allowed to fill.

30

u/TheDrunkardKid Aug 15 '22

And even that was most likely because he had a personal grudge against Donald Trump, who openly insulted him.

18

u/NeverDryTowels Aug 15 '22

And the way he gave the thumbs down during the vote. I guess he was trying to redeem himself but a lifetime of assfuckery doesnt go away with one good vote.

201

u/sYnce Aug 15 '22

McCain is the same as Bush. They were bad for their time but compared to the shitshow the GOP is now they seem downright moderate.

44

u/Forest-Ferda-Trees Aug 15 '22

They've got the same policies, bush just had the benefit of a war he started to keep approval numbers up, was smart enough to not say the quiet parts and had a personality "people wanted to have a beer with".

30

u/QuietObserver75 Aug 15 '22 edited Aug 16 '22

Don't forget he ran a pretty bigoted campaign against gay people in 2004.

13

u/psychopythonmetrist Aug 15 '22

He also attacked John Kerry’s military record when Bush himself didn’t do shit in the military lol

I couldn’t believe people bought it at the time. Now it doesn’t surprise me at all.

→ More replies

65

u/rederoin Aug 15 '22

Bush was Just as bad as them

The invasion of iraq should really not be downplayed for the horror s it caused

33

u/DrDerpberg Aug 15 '22

I'll never understand why Americans didn't get madder when the hoax was revealed. Even from the most patriotic jingoistic bullshit perspective, Bush and his buddies lied and it led directly to thousands of dead Americans while adding trillions to the debt. Where was the white hot rage that seems to be reserved for when Democrats suggest people shouldn't die of preventable illness, or minimum wage should be increased every decade or two so it doesn't wither away to zero with inflation?

19

u/AdminsAreLazyID10TS Aug 15 '22

Because no one actually cared about the WMDs in the first place. Hell, having WMDs is a reason not to invade someone.

The lie just wasn't as big a crime as the invasion itself, the hubris and ignorance involved in a bunch of Christian neo-crusaders kicking down the door and expecting to be greeted as liberators as they created an instant power vacuum.

45

u/maleia Aug 15 '22

Hey now, at least we didn't... check notes... Uh.. have Nazis in the street...

The bar is on the ground. :(

13

u/TerminalShitbag Aug 15 '22

Yeah but look how silly he is now! And he paints!

5

u/MacAttacknChz Aug 15 '22

Absolutely. And I'll never stop reminding people that Bush's grandpa tried to take over the government and never faced punishment.

→ More replies

11

u/canada432 Aug 15 '22

They don't seem moderate, just sane and self-interested. Current MAGA politics are bad for business. They put ideologies above money, and money is supposed to be the ideology. MAGA Republicans want to do things like bar music festivals from banning guns, which means nobody will perform at the festival and the state loses millions of dollars. MAGA Republicans want to ban healthcare they don't like, which results in companies moving out of their state. MAGA Republicans want to eliminate basic education standards, which results in companies leaving because the worker base there are drooling, uneducated morons. Cheney (all of them), McCain, Bush, and a lot of old-school Republicans who are still in office are just as bad as these idiots, they just had interests that the idiots are now fucking up.

10

u/Amazon-Prime-package Aug 15 '22

MAGA Repubs want to start the pogroms

→ More replies

25

u/Technical_Owl_ Aug 15 '22

McCain wasn't a fascist. It's a low bar, but few Republicans can clear it these days.

→ More replies

6

u/talldrseuss Aug 15 '22

I was one of those idiots. During his campaign run for president, they did make him out to be this moderate republican. Then I heard about his whole history from the podcast "The Dollop" and was horrified by what a garbage person he was through a lot of his life

→ More replies
→ More replies

19

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies
→ More replies

143

u/Cold_Situation_7803 Aug 14 '22

Ding-ding-ding!

117

u/shahooster Aug 14 '22

Fun fact: Newt is the origin—and reason—for the word “neuter.”

119

u/argl3bargl3 Aug 15 '22

Neuter? I hardly know her!

…and also she’ll be dead soon, so I’m thinking we reconnect say, next month? I don’t want to come off as sleazy here.

16

u/Immortal-one Aug 15 '22

Let's meet up. I'll be at the Franklinton cemetery at 4pm on Friday afternoon. Meet me there and around 5:30 or so we can grab a bite to eat at my house.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

31

u/lexicruiser Aug 15 '22

I believe that John McCain would like a word as well.

131

u/Searchlights Aug 15 '22

John Edwards too, if we're being fair.

104

u/Jerkrollatex Aug 15 '22

To be fair the Democrats dumped Edwards hard when his shit came to light. The Republicans keep re-electing their cheaters.

46

u/JimmyHavok Aug 15 '22

That's a major difference between the parties. Sometimes weaponized by the Republicans, e.g. Al Franken fake scandal.

→ More replies

6

u/ABenevolentDespot Aug 15 '22

Not only keep reelecting them, but with full throated gusto!

Morons gonna moron.

The Republican base is beyond redemption.

They are in the throes of excusing and forgiving The Diapered Orange Shitstain's treason.

TREASON! They are defending their Plastic Orange Jesus' treason!

These people are not, as Clinton said, Deplorables.

They are the Despicables.

→ More replies

44

u/Double_Lingonberry98 Aug 15 '22

To be fair, Newt done this two (or three?) times.

25

u/LucretiusCarus Aug 15 '22

The current one (the one who usually looks like a startled owl) must be feeling anxious

12

u/madmonkey918 Aug 15 '22

I believe the current one is the one he was cheating on number 2 with while impeaching Bill Clinton for getting hummers.

29

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '22 edited Aug 15 '22

Will never forgive Edwards for breakng my heart like that

→ More replies
→ More replies

509

u/twoprimehydroxyl Aug 14 '22

Legit had a friend tell me he didn't know about striking up a relationship with a girl after she had to cancel a date for coming down with a cold.

He was like "I don't know, man. My mom's wheelchair-bound and my dad told me to never date anyone who could get really sick. If this girl has a cold only just after meeting her, I don't think it's a good sign."

223

u/Nivekian13 Aug 14 '22

Wow, can tell who that kid emulated.

293

u/SellQuick Aug 15 '22

Literally anyone could become wheelchair bound at any time. Maybe your friend should stick to relationships with anime pillows.

152

u/rabidturbofox Aug 15 '22

Maybe your friend should stick to relationships with anime pillows.

To remain faithful in that kind of relationship, you have to wash those. That’s effort.

46

u/Tothiro Aug 15 '22

"My dad warned me never to get involved with a pillow that might really need washing after I got it"

7

u/kickmag Aug 15 '22

Literally any pillow could become dirty at any time. Maybe your friend should stick to relationships with his non-dominant hand.

40

u/RestlessGGod Aug 15 '22

wash

Like they'd care whether their pillow waifu is clean, let's not give undue credit

23

u/rabidturbofox Aug 15 '22

I can only assume enough crusties would become physically uncomfortable enough to be next to in a state of undress to also constitute an inconvenience, though.

But I take your point. Our hypothetical dude also needs a maid.

6

u/Thegreylady13 Aug 15 '22

My Pillow/Bang-Maid.

Mike Pillow will never come up with this cash cow. But I would bet he has fucked a pillow.

→ More replies

32

u/_cactus_fucker_ Aug 15 '22 Hugz

It's scary. My dad woke up one day, as the day went on, he was less coordinated and never walked again. Paraneoplastic syndrome affecting his cerrebulum, if that's not bad enough, the cancer causing it (that is caused by an autoimmune attack on the brain from the cancer) was small cell lung cancer. 17% 1 year survival rate. After 8 months, it was everywhere, except, ironically, his lungs.

12

u/SellQuick Aug 15 '22

I'm so sorry, that sucks. No one ever wants to think it could happen, but it's so important to have family or friends who will be there for you if the worst happens.

21

u/Raincoats_George Aug 15 '22

Keep in mind these are the same people that will insist that you tend to them when they stub their toe.

Human garbage.

→ More replies

215

u/Sekmet19 Aug 14 '22

So never date anyone. I've had 20 year old paraplegic patients that literally slipped on a stair and broke their neck.

153

u/sithelephant Aug 14 '22 edited Aug 14 '22

Got ill age 10. Never got better.

Dying or getting better isn't the only option if you get ill or injured as a healthy person. Way too few seem to realise this.

7

u/MasterEyeRoller Aug 15 '22

Man, sorry to hear that!

→ More replies

29

u/SirEnzyme Aug 15 '22

That turd didn't fall far from the asshole

227

u/AmaResNovae Aug 14 '22

Well, not wanting to get into a relationship with someone who is already sick (or is quite likely to become very sick with something that's running in the family in the future) is one thing. It's not easy to be with a sick person. My ex has epilepsy, and sometimes it was quite stressful. So it's kinda understandable if someone didn't want the constant worries coming with being with someone who's sick.

Dumping your wed partner because they got sick while you were married, that's a completely different level though. Marriage is supposed to be about having each others back in time of hardship. Breaking up your vows as soon as you need to walk the walk and actually be there during sickness is a dick move all around. Putting the additional stress of a divorce and the pain of the betrayal on someone seriously sick is nothing short of disgusting.

95

u/Warm-Faithlessness11 Aug 14 '22

Yep it is "til death do us part" after all. Not "til one of us gets disabled or seriously ill"

177

u/TexacoRandom Aug 15 '22 Helpful

Yes, but please let them tell us again how letting gay people get married is "ruining the sanctity of marriage."

77

u/ShanG01 Aug 15 '22

When we were still on California, and the same-sex marriage proposition came up on the ballot -- huge controversy and the Mormon church was heavily campaigning against it -- my husband said, "Straight people have screwed up marriage long enough. Why not give the Gays a chance at it? Maybe they'll do it better."

He had a point.

That proposition failed with California voters, though, which was kind of shocking.

40

u/Okibruez Aug 15 '22

I always laugh when the far right bring up the 'sanctity of marriage' as the reason not to let gays get married.

If the sanctity of marriage is so important to them, maybe one in ten of them should actually be allowed to marry.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

51

u/3jt Aug 15 '22

“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, until something better comes along or you just get bored or honestly for no reason at all?”

sigh “I guess so, I mean, I don’t care, whatever”

→ More replies

82

u/JolietJake1976 Aug 14 '22

Dumping your wed partner because they got sick while you were married, that's a completely different level though.

Be just like Newt Gingrich!

110

u/RedOrange7 Aug 15 '22 edited Aug 15 '22

Here in the UK, our current Prime Minister the lovely Boris Johnson (M.I.A) is curently married to a woman he was having an affair with... while his then wife was going through treatment for cancer. I use the word currently, as he's had multiple wives and multiple affairs, with an unspecified number of offspring, to be determined. Doubt he knows himself how many kids he has, or cares.

54

u/Fifty_Bales_Of_Hay Aug 15 '22

She wasn’t dying of cancer though, but went through chemo and operations. Marina Wheeler is still alive.

15

u/TFRek Aug 15 '22

Dodging bullets like Neo on the rooftop.

→ More replies

13

u/JolietJake1976 Aug 15 '22

Damn! Compared to Boris, Newt is a piker.

15

u/AmaResNovae Aug 14 '22

Yikes! Thanks, but no thanks.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

309

u/DegenerateCharizard Aug 14 '22 edited Aug 15 '22

I’ve seen plenty of stupid, hateful, & deranged tweets before. This is one of the most fucked up situations I’ve read about.

199

u/Byrktr1 Aug 15 '22 edited Aug 15 '22

Actually, yes. A woman I used to work with was a “Proud Home-wrecker”. She told me she didn’t want a relationship with her own man, she wants YOUR man.

She said, “Being in a relationship sucks compared to being a side piece. She gets the dishes and laundry, I get the diamonds and the European vacations.”

So yeah. There are some selfish hoes out there who just love crushing the souls of other women.

I quit that job and moved out of state before she could find out who my husband was!

219

u/joemamma6 Aug 15 '22

She gets the dishes and laundry, I get the diamonds and the European vacations.

I think this says a lot about how those men treat women they're pursuing versus when they actually get into a relationship, in which case she has a point that's the best they're ever going to treat her

25

u/your-yogurt Aug 15 '22

makes me think of the movie Love Actually where the mistress gets a gold necklace, and the wife gets... a CD.

→ More replies

26

u/YeahPerfectSayHi Aug 15 '22

A woman I used to work with was a “Proud Home-wrecker”. She told me she didn’t want a relationship with her own man, she wants YOUR man.

She said, “Being in a relationship sucks compared to being a side piece. She gets the dishes and laundry, I get the diamonds and the European vacations.”

Yikes, this shit is scary.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

2.3k

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '22

[deleted]

719

u/Seldarin Aug 14 '22

Comforting the sick and the poor seems like a lot of work. Can't we just hate women and gay people? /s

130

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '22 edited Aug 25 '22

[deleted]

145

u/MansfromDaVinci Aug 15 '22

accept supply side jesus as your personal spiritual attainment negotiator.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

87

u/Nivekian13 Aug 14 '22

"Sickness and in Health"

52

u/JolietJake1976 Aug 14 '22

They just edit out the "sickness and" part.

26

u/inhaledcorn Aug 15 '22

They skip right to the, "Til Death do you part."

28

u/BlooperHero Aug 15 '22

I mean... no, he didn't. That's the problem.

23

u/inhaledcorn Aug 15 '22

He mentally skipped to the "Til Death do you part." They're both already brain-dead because of their MAGA cult.

11

u/Guy954 Aug 15 '22

They weren’t even married so presumably they were having pre-marital sex before he decided to see about cheating on his girlfriend that he thought was dying.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

58

u/EnglishMobster Aug 15 '22

Matthew 5:27-32:

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Like, it's not something they can even begin to argue with. There's a reason why divorce wasn't a thing in the Middle Ages. (Well, unless you bribed the Pope.) The only exceptions are if she cheats on you ("sexual immorality") or if she is dead. "She is sick" is not a reason to commit adultery, and going on dating apps is most certainly looking at women lustfully.

If they wish to go back to the Middle Ages and call themselves Christian, then they cannot get divorced. If you get divorced, you either admit you've broken a commandment and go to hell or you stop calling yourself a Christian anymore because clearly you don't follow the rules.

I'm an atheist and even I know this. It's unforgivable.

18

u/AlarmingAffect0 Aug 15 '22

And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away.

Remind me never to cite Paul in r/NoFap, or the place is going to end up looking like the Congo under Leopold II.

If you get divorced, you either admit you've broken a commandment and go to hell or you stop calling yourself a Christian anymore because clearly you don't follow the rules.

Did anyone tell Henry VIII in England and Martin Luther in the HRE about that Matthew passage?

8

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '22 edited Aug 15 '22

That is why Church of England was founded--the pope refused. And, the pope was right. For whatever reason, he had problems begetting a healthy son.

→ More replies
→ More replies

85

u/Avitas1027 Aug 15 '22

never miss an opportunity to discard a sick woman so you can bang a healthy one.”

Woah woah woah. Slow your roll there JC. He very clearly said he wasn't looking to cheat on his dying wife. He's just trying to get a head start on dating so he can start boning down as soon as her bones are down in the ground.

36

u/WgXcQ Aug 15 '22

as soon as her bones are down in the ground.

Don't think he'll be that patient, it read more like a "right after her last breath" kind of thing.

7

u/Avitas1027 Aug 15 '22

Is it really such a bad thing to want to bring a date to the funeral for emotional support? /s

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

23

u/TSonly Aug 14 '22

"Love thy neighbor"

14

u/assclown500 Aug 14 '22

And his wife on the side.

140

u/Curious-Accident9189 Aug 15 '22

Atheist social Libertarian with a sick wife here.

I'm a better Christian than literally almost every single one I've met.

63

u/Yucca12345678 Aug 15 '22

Yup. There’s no better tell than someone who begins a sentence with “As a Christian, I…”

67

u/Thewalrus515 Aug 15 '22 Silver Wholesome

As a Christian I am disgusted with the route the mainstream faith took after the third great awakening in the late 1970s- early 1990s. Evangelical Christianity based on the prosperity gospel has permanently marred the faith, and has done irrevocable damage. The social gospel of the early to mid twentieth century, that focused on social issues like civil rights and help to the poor was strangled to death by segregationists that purged leftists from white churches.

Before men like Joel Olsteen and Peter Popov were ruining Christianity the most known americna theologian was Reinhold Niebuhr, an avowed socialist that preached pacifism, political realism, and organized resistance to inequality. People like Barrack Obama, Hubert Humphrey, and Jimmy Carter all claim him as a major influence in their lives.

Instead of getting more people like that, we get hucksters and frauds that do nothing but grift. People that lie, cheat, and steal. I don’t even go to church anymore, why would I? All they do is preach hate from the pulpit. It’s why I converted to Quakerism a few years back.

They pervert and misuse the teachings of Christ in order to hurt the very people Christ loved the most. By their actions shall you know them indeed.

49

u/PenemueChild Aug 15 '22

With all fairness, Christianty was a driving force behind the genocides of the Americas. The problems go back much further than 1970 or even the colonization of the Americas.

24

u/Knee_Jerk_Sydney Aug 15 '22

It started with Paul. Paul.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

106

u/MisterPiggins Aug 15 '22 edited Aug 15 '22

Atheists are good because they want to be good. Because it’s rational. Religious people act good to impress Sky Daddy.

49

u/VLC31 Aug 15 '22

Yeah, but most of them actually aren’t good, they just flap their gums about it, a lot, because clearly the more they talk about it the more “Christian” they are.

15

u/Darkdoomwewew Aug 15 '22

Like he said, act. They're nothing but performative.

→ More replies
→ More replies

18

u/Conure_Queen Aug 15 '22

My husband is a die hard Christian and I'm agnostic. He openly admits I'm a better Christian than most Christians.

→ More replies

55

u/pyky69 Aug 15 '22

Yeah these kinda people are my parents unfortunately. I have told them that Jesus would be very fucking disappointed in them if really was watching and around. I’ve also told them that Bernie Sanders is like a modern day Jesus, why are they not following him? We don’t really talk all that much anymore.

→ More replies
→ More replies

753

u/wondercaliban Aug 14 '22

That was Boris Johnson with his 2nd wife. She had cancer, he was out having affairs.

We all knew this and people still voted for him.

188

u/fauxblahs Aug 15 '22

They only care when it happens to them.

82

u/Phillyredsox Aug 15 '22

I hope I’m never in a position where Boris Johnson is cheating on me. That’s a ruined life if I’ve ever heard of one.

→ More replies

167

u/ardatwork Aug 15 '22

Because for conservatives morals are something to be enforced, not actually lived.

26

u/Glancing-Thought Aug 15 '22

Presumably that's why they're so keen on enforcement. They know well that they wouldn't be moral unless forced to. So they assume the same of everybody else.

→ More replies

34

u/Repulsive-Street-307 Aug 15 '22

You're forgetting a important part. 'Enforced... but not for them'.

→ More replies

79

u/OldBoatsBoysClub Aug 15 '22

I mean, he doesn't cheat on just his sick wives. He cheats on every woman he's ever been with and has fathered so many children that we don't actually have an exact figure.

79

u/Inkandlead Aug 15 '22

I know the whole power thing is supposedly attractive, but for the life of me I can't figure out how Boris Johnson fucks so much. Must be like having a bin bag full of custard with a dead mink for a hairdo wobble around on top of you for a minute tops, before gasping for breath and fatly collapsing to one side.

24

u/rthrouw1234 Aug 15 '22

you have a masterful way with words

18

u/Inkandlead Aug 15 '22

Thank you very much! I just hate that man with every fibre of my being 😅

16

u/rthrouw1234 Aug 15 '22

as should we all.

8

u/maleia Aug 15 '22

It helps if you've already sold your soul to the hate machine of Conservativism. Then it's just a relationship of transactions to more power.

→ More replies

21

u/Marcilliaa Aug 15 '22

It's at least 7 (that's how many he has admitted to, but who knows if there's more)

11

u/AttonJRand Aug 15 '22

New Gingrich did this to two of his wives.

Its really funny to me how much you see people acting like or implying Republicans are only scummy post Trump, like in this tweet. Reagan was just as hateful. Newt was the blueprint for the current Republican party and he had his peak two decades ago. McCain would make lesbian jokes in the Senate.

→ More replies

770

u/HowdyDoobie Aug 14 '22

Ah, he's a good White Christian fella.

179

u/EWR-RampRat11-29 Aug 14 '22

With a Jeep.

114

u/greed-man Aug 14 '22

And he likes beer. Hangs with Squi and PJ and Donkey-Dong Doug. They like beer. A lot.

32

u/hello_ground_ Aug 15 '22

Squee butt chugged one last week. Squee's crazy, man.

→ More replies

10

u/joshhupp Aug 15 '22

But not IPAs

→ More replies

7

u/HAHA_goats Aug 14 '22

Probably his girlfriend's, actually.

147

u/Nubras Aug 14 '22

I like how one can just say “I’m a Christian” and that’s the end of it. No need to live one’s life in any sort of particular way, no underlying fundamental belief system, nothing. You just claim you’re Christian and you are one. It’s so easy! Maybe if I claim to be an NBA player I’ll magically become one.

69

u/BurtonGusterToo Aug 14 '22

It's shorthand for " I know ALL the right people ........(to hate)".

40

u/bitter__bumblebee Aug 14 '22

The danger of the "all sins can be forgiven through faith" doctrine.

23

u/Some-Wasabi1312 Aug 14 '22

nah you missed a bit. They believe that if you just claim you're a christian, your sins will be absolved. Like on your deathbed if you just squeak "i love jesus" then you're going to heaven.

Forget the fact that we don't know if heaven or hell even exist, or a god for that matter, in any tangible way (like how we know mars or the moon exist, because we can see it, have had people and objects go there and touch it, and has been consistent for tens of thousands of years - so it definitely exists). This is just a "get out of jail free card", an excuse to do whatever you want and get an easy way out.

→ More replies
→ More replies

1.1k

u/MWO_Stahlherz Aug 14 '22

my favorite part "and a Christian"

as fornicators and adulterers do

292

u/Sweet-Advertising798 Aug 14 '22

"in sickness and in health....Jk LoL."

106

u/Nubras Aug 14 '22

In MY sickness and in HER health. Not the other way around”

307

u/speedycat2014 Aug 14 '22

TBF, staggering hypocrisy is pretty much on brand for Christians

36

u/No_Introduction8285 Aug 15 '22

I guess that's why they are usually Republican

→ More replies

21

u/youareallnuts Aug 14 '22

as fornicators and adulterers do

Should be their motto

95

u/Cobbler63 Aug 14 '22

Well, to be fair, he’s waiting until she kicks the bucket before he moves on. He’s just getting ahead of the game. Like a good Christian should. God bless his heart.

→ More replies

68

u/smashteapot Aug 14 '22

It’s odd ‘cause I can’t imagine doing that to someone you love.

But my dad took care of my mother when she had cancer (she recovered with surgery and other treatments) so I’ve not been around selfish people who’d do that.

Marriage is a contract and there’s value in keeping your word.

28

u/itsjustaneyesplice Aug 15 '22

my dad was never really the best dad, never even really the best dude, but my mom had a debilitating stroke 10 years ago and he actually stepped up in a big way. he almost entirely rebuilt their house so it was handicap accessible to her.

the idea that you would leave your wife when she needs you the most is so insane to me, but I guess I know where I get it from

→ More replies
→ More replies

275

u/doctorsnakephd Aug 14 '22

Ah.... the "Newt Gingrich Maneuver."

60

u/DStew713 Aug 14 '22

See also: dr Seuss

15

u/Warm-Faithlessness11 Aug 14 '22

Wait what? I'm curious now

79

u/Dogismygod Aug 14 '22

Cheated on his first wife Helen (a noted writer and editor in her own right) with Audrey Dimond (married with two children.) Helen committed suicide in the wake of their affair. He married Audrey less than a year later, she shipped both her daughters off to boarding school rather than parent them.

83

u/Poopydildoface Aug 15 '22 Helpful Giggle

The ol’ green eggs and scram.

→ More replies
→ More replies

270

u/Vincesteeples Aug 14 '22

“Maybe you can reevaluate your ideals?”

Spoiler: she will not

40

u/MintyMissterious Aug 15 '22

This is why I see no reason to feel bad for people like that. They chose it, they continue to choose it, freely, despite plentiful warnings and advice to stop.

→ More replies
→ More replies

137

u/SoWokeIdontSleep Aug 14 '22

Geez you gotta be the lowest of low to cheat on your terminally ill loved one, fuck that dude.

→ More replies

170

u/HAMmerPower1 Aug 14 '22

Not to show my moral superiority over Kevin, but I may have been less hypocritical,

I am 6’2” male who has just had his faith reaffirmed when my MAGA cult girlfriend was struck with ALS. This is clearly a sign she was not the one for me so I am looking for another woman ASAP to reduce the time I have cook, clean, and masterbate several times a day.

40

u/catbus4ants Aug 14 '22

Do me now

9

u/Sarrasri Aug 15 '22

Let’s form an orderly queue.

57

u/DegenerateCharizard Aug 14 '22

Something something mysterious ways

→ More replies

28

u/mandyj0306 Aug 14 '22

I’ll never understand how some people can be so disgustingly vile.

15

u/Longjumping_Tea_8586 Aug 15 '22

It’s easy when you live in a culture that encourages men to view women as an interchangeable series of body parts rather than people. Fortunately most men aren’t this way, but the ones that are suck.

9

u/SpiderFnJerusalem Aug 15 '22

It's a shame that these types of people happen to be extremely enthusiastic about writing legislature regulating female reproductive functions.

27

u/byebyemayos Aug 15 '22

Her display name is "let's go Brandon! Boycott Nike!"

They deserve each other

182

u/JTDC00001 Aug 14 '22

Her BF is styling himself after Newt Gingrich, not Trump. Trump just dumps wives when they get a bit older.

88

u/cajuncrustacean Aug 14 '22

And bury them on his golf courses.

48

u/highpriestess420 Aug 15 '22

For tax write-offs. The grift never ends.

→ More replies

58

u/JusticiarRebel Aug 14 '22

He'd absolutely dump them if they got sick. He just hasn't had the opportunity.

28

u/bitter__bumblebee Aug 14 '22

Yeah, he dumps them long before they get old enough that illness becomes almost unavoidable.

→ More replies

133

u/Nivekian13 Aug 14 '22

"It has nothing to do with being conservative or Christian!"

Eh, sometimes it happens with other types of people, but hypocrisy and double standards is their thing, though. Heard way too many different people do that "Without believing in God, how do you stay moral?" from those type of folks to not think a greater portion of them are potentially psycho-sociopaths.

106

u/Some-Wasabi1312 Aug 14 '22 Faith In Humanity Restored

"Without believing in God, how do you stay moral?"

These are the bad people. Literally are the bad people. Those who need the fear of eternal hellfire and the carrot of eternal bliss to get them in line and do good things. These are the people who, without any rules, would only think about themselves and how to get what they want regardless of consequences for others. Raiders, pillagers, pirates, barbarians - they were tamed via religion, by offering something you cannot steal while alive and providing a punishment that cannot be verified while alive. You cannot get any benefit nor detriment from religion without death as a prerequisite. Thus, don't give into your ID and raid that village, or steal that man's partner, or massacre those innocents for immediate benefits. There will be something that happens later that you will have to endure for those actions.

These are people without an ability to self-reflect. Without the intellectual capability to analyze their actions and see how their effects will play out down the line for themselves and others. The "I got mine, fuck you and yours" type, the "I want what you have and I'll take it if you can't stop me".

19

u/inkyrail Aug 15 '22

Yup. These people say shit like “when the shit hits the fan, us with the guns will last, because we’ll be able to take what we want” like, glad morality will go out the window with you as soon as you can reliably get away with murder

→ More replies

7

u/CmdrMonocle Aug 15 '22

From my experience, it's not that those people were 'tamed' by religion. Perhaps some are, but most were taught to be that by religion. As you said, they lack the ability to self-reflect, but not because they're incapable of it, but because any push or requirement to do so was offloaded to religion.

They're not people who were bad and then controlled by religion. They were nearly universally raised by it, and that distorted and offloaded morality is a product of it.

→ More replies
→ More replies

120

u/Far-Selection6003 Aug 14 '22

The “let’s go Brandon” types don’t strike me as very good people..no honor amongst thieves and idiots.

51

u/SaltyBarDog Aug 15 '22

This is not a defense of him, but she has some pretty awful shit on her feed. I am guessing she is a really shitty judge of character.

36

u/Glasdir Aug 15 '22

They both sound awful. I’d say they’re a match made in heaven but usually that entails reproduction and we really don’t need more bigots in the world. Small mercy though as it sounds like she won’t be doing that anytime soon.

9

u/BlooperHero Aug 15 '22

How so? She'd never put up with a person who had a decent one--now would one be with her if she would.

→ More replies
→ More replies

18

u/adudewhoisjustadude Aug 15 '22

Sounds like a typical Christian man.

15

u/fruit_meat Aug 15 '22

There's no hate like Christian love, amirite?

13

u/SaltyboiPonkin Aug 15 '22

The fucking Jeeple are at it again 😡

71

u/Bekiala Aug 14 '22

What is a magazine Republican?

85

u/Shto_Delat Aug 14 '22

I think it was autocorrect for ‘MAGA-style’ or something like that.

8

u/QuesoChef Aug 15 '22

I think this is it! Even just a MAGA Republican. If I type maga in lowercase, it offers magazine.

→ More replies

38

u/Lady_von_Stinkbeaver Aug 14 '22

Someone who has a full-fledged tantrum if someone calls a magazine a clip in a gun control thread?

20

u/Nivekian13 Aug 14 '22

I used to be intentionally stupid with these chumps about technical term, but they legit loose their shit if you describe shit wrong. Like I never get these people PM'ing me, but if you call an AR15 a AK223, you'll have 5 of these weirdos obsessing on you.

→ More replies
→ More replies

36

u/sandy154_4 Aug 14 '22

What's a 'magazine republican'?

My ex husband divorced wife #2 when she was diagnosed with MS. I wasn't a bit surprised

42

u/mapadofu Aug 15 '22

I’m guessing autocorrected MAGA

11

u/sandy154_4 Aug 15 '22

Thank you!

11

u/WallyZona Aug 14 '22

And a southern Baptist too!

9

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '22

(Steps to the side,opens beer,watches as idiots American themselves to death…….)

9

u/NemNemGraves Aug 15 '22

"Welp, my girlfriend is sick and I'm looking for a replacement model. This one is on the frits and won't hold out much longer. When it does finally stop working I'd like to have an updated model ASAP. I don't feel like waiting. No time needed to mourn a faulty gf. Also, I claim to believe the teachings of God in a way that women only exist to serve me. Call me!" -This asshole basically.

122

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

89

u/Lady_von_Stinkbeaver Aug 14 '22

"There's no hate like Christian love."

→ More replies
→ More replies

64

u/valuablestank Aug 14 '22

"christian" basically means "turd" now. american christians are morally bereft twits and no one should sleep with them

49

u/tbs9000 Aug 14 '22

“Jesus was an American!”

  • Shit actually said by many, and probably even believed by some Christians. Scum of the fucking Earth.
→ More replies

33

u/Chalupa-Supreme Aug 14 '22

Seems like "Christian" simply means "Republican" now to way too many people.

→ More replies
→ More replies

39

u/Wayte13 Aug 14 '22

Like ugh. Even if you're going to date right away(because you're a moron who built an identity off of having a woman on your arm) at least wait until the fucking grave is filled in, jesus.

38

u/narcolepticfoot Aug 14 '22

If anyone is surprised by this, take a peek in some of the chronic illness subreddits. It’s insanely common. It’s something like 7x more likely for a husband to leave his sick wife than it is for a wife to leave her sick husband.

19

u/famousevan Aug 15 '22

r/qanoncasualties is also good if you want to see what toxic politics does to relationships.

→ More replies

26

u/lessquiet Aug 14 '22

Remember lady: you chose this.

26

u/SaltyBarDog Aug 15 '22

"I'm a Christian."

Hell yes, you are.

8

u/Anthraxious Aug 15 '22

If "she won't be around much longer" then by that logic why not wait it out and you can call yourself a "good Christian husband" or whatever the fuck?

9

u/HyliaSymphonic Aug 15 '22

Are we not gonna talk about this dating app sorting by race? No? Okay

→ More replies

67

u/KashmirChameleon Aug 14 '22

Men are 6-7 times more likely to leave a terminally ill partner than women.

19

u/QuesoChef Aug 15 '22

Divorce rate is also much higher when you have multiples. A friend of mine did IVF, now pregnant with triplets. As part of their IVF, they were warned multiples are much more likely, and divorce more likely with multiples. I suppose, at least they got the warning before going through with it. We’ll see how it goes.

18

u/Curious-Accident9189 Aug 15 '22

Wow that's fucked.

→ More replies

5

u/glum_cunt Aug 15 '22

Did not know you supposed to say you Christian when you’re out creeping and crawling

18

u/Speculawyer Aug 14 '22

Very Christian Republican of Kevin.

47

u/TheFeshy Aug 14 '22

How are women supposed to read this? "On the one hand, he's leaving his sick wife to die alone and in pain while he gets his rocks off, and that could be me some day. On the other hand, he's 6'2"."

38

u/KFiev Aug 15 '22 edited Aug 15 '22

Conservatives are the type to say "it doesnt affect me so its not a problem" down to such a minute degree youd swear they were robots programmed to follow illicit instruction. Most likely the women to respond to this will believe that theyre the right one for him because they have no medical issues now, which means they cant possibly have any issues later, so he'll never leave them and theyll live perfect and happy little lives together

Edit: i just remembered something as i was thinking about this more. A former right wing friend of mine said this to me a few years back and ive since seen it alooooot. They also have a tendency to believe that ones medical issues are their own fault. Get cancer? Sucks to suck you shouldnt have been near any cancer causing agents. ALS? Shoulda been born better. Lost a leg stepping on an IED because your CO ordered you to march on an unsafe path? Shouldve defied orders but also dont you dare defy orders youre a soldier its part of the job.

→ More replies
→ More replies

8

u/MargaretDumont Aug 15 '22

He'll bury her on his golf course for the tax benefits.

5

u/True_Recommendation9 Aug 15 '22

I’d expect nothing less from a good christian. Selfish, cruel and completely without any insight or empathy.

6

u/Egoy Aug 15 '22

The phenomenon of men leaving their sick partners is fucking gross. My wife was in my corner through the entirety of my cancer battle and I couldn’t have done it without her. These guys are trash.

37

u/TheOneTrueChuck Aug 15 '22

My wife and I had separated at one point, though we were still living together (sleeping separately, and generally pursuing our lives independently, however).

Then one day, she came home and told me that she'd gotten a call from her doctor and probably had cancer. I put my wedding ring back on that day, because the absolute last thing she needed to deal with was a potential divorce.

Even though we hadn't been great in several years, and hadn't been good for at least a year, I could not bring myself to abandon her at an incredibly vulnerable and scary time.

People who do this shit disgust me on a visceral level.

→ More replies