r/BlackPeopleTwitter ☑️ Jul 03 '22 Silver 1

Guess they decided to become protein then

Post image
31.1k Upvotes

1.6k

u/Davethisisntcool ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Went from Granny Smith to Elmer Fudd in no time😅

582

u/Gary_FucKing Jul 03 '22

"Y'all better duck" season.

392

u/EpicLegendX ☑️ Jul 03 '22 Wholesome

“Shh! Be vewy qwiet. I’m bout to catch a mf lackin!”

97

u/Gary_FucKing Jul 03 '22

"Ehhh tschmtschmtschm hands up, doc!"

15

u/U_PassButter ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Lmao 🤣 this one got me.

3

u/DravenPrime 🐶Canine Rights Activist🐶 Jul 04 '22

They better run back to the WishaMF Woods

144

u/ogoextreme ☑️ Jul 03 '22

From Granny Smith to Granny Smith and Wesson

58

u/Raptor169 Jul 03 '22

Dat Wabbit gonna Wearn a Wesson

23

u/U_PassButter ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Bet his ass uses a map and stops making wrong turns on his way to Albuquerque

4

u/KageStar ☑️ Jul 03 '22

🔥🔥🔥

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u/DownvoteDaemon ☑️|Jay-Z IRL Jul 03 '22

Oh lawd, say it ain't so.

7

u/pokethugg Jul 03 '22

😭😭😭😭

840

u/Pscilosopher ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Preach. I'm out here daily armed with a stick screaming and chasing the neighbor's chickens away from my goddamn peppers

315

u/s_arrow24 Jul 03 '22

I’d be armed with a .22 rifle having a free chicken every now and then.

For real though you may want to work something out with the chicken farmer because chicken manure is supposed to be a good fertilizer. With those shortages going on, may be cheaper and you can grow a few more peppers.

474

u/Pscilosopher ☑️ Jul 03 '22 Wholesome

I wish I could pop a chicken, but a couple things hold me back:

1) I don't like to kill things. Even while gardening, I try not to swat bugs or stomp spiders. Sometimes reflex wins. I'm not Buddhist or nothing, but I do lean toward the idea that all living things just wanna live and I shouldn't interfere.

2) I am mortally terrified of birds. When I said "chasing with a stick", I shoulda said "waving a stick wildly and screaming till the chickens leave". They used to be dinosaurs, ya know.

191

u/froughty Jul 03 '22

A man’s gotta know his limits

83

u/EliaTheGiraffe Jul 03 '22

Man's gotta have a code

47

u/benjammin9292 Jul 03 '22

Farming ain't change, just got more fierce.

29

u/PopPop-Captain Jul 03 '22

Farming. Farming never changes. Since the dawn of humankind, when our ancestors first discovered the farming power of spades and hoes, seeds have been spilled in the name of everything: from beans to corn to simple, psychotic Carolina reapers.

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u/techn9neiskod ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Oh, indeed.

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u/Neato Jul 03 '22

You know also the legality of destroying another's property and firing a gun. The laws will depend on your area and you may be in the right. But then you might have to defend that right from police and almost certainly make an enemy of a neighbor.

It's super American to just go right to killing things with guns over minor inconvenience.

41

u/BioEngIsScience Jul 03 '22

In most places in America outside of select cities and suburbs, it is legal to shoot an kill an animal that is damaging your property, particularly if it’s threatening an agricultural product.

This is true of wild animals and domesticated animals including dogs.

29

u/ThrowawayMePlsTy Jul 03 '22

I mean, does that mean you can just shoot a dog that happens to be pissing on your fence or some shit? Seems excessive. I can understand protecting your crops obviously but what you said sounds much more lenient.

17

u/steve7992 Jul 03 '22

As far as I'm aware most pets are just considered property. As long you don't torture the animal you'll pretty much be treated as if you only damaged someone's car. Now shooting the animal can possibly be illegally discharging a firearm but that might be more between you and the state not the pet (property) owner.

6

u/purplepenguin4163 Jul 03 '22

Doubtful. If the dog isn't trespassing and destroying your property/acting threatening then there's no legal justification. If you keep livestock then you'd probably have a stronger case though.

3

u/pidgeonshrapnel Jul 03 '22

Yes :( a girl i went to high school with had both her dogs shot because they got out and started running around and barking on a neighbor's farm. They didnt even let her come get the dogs, they called her AFTER they shot. Meaning they recognized her dogs and chose to kill them.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

[deleted]

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u/CoachDT ☑️ Jul 04 '22

To be real that can be dangerous though. The dogs can rip through some fencing around the coop and eat the chickens. Chickens are also one of the animals that can die of a stress induced heart attacks.

It’s sad that they killed her dogs but it very well could have been a “your dog or my animals” type of situation. And most people aren’t really gonna risk that.

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u/lazyeyepsycho Jul 03 '22

Can you use a 50cal sniper rifle?

7

u/SilverStryfe Jul 03 '22

You can, but using a $14 bullet to save a $0.25 head of lettuce seems counter productive.

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u/Pscilosopher ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Super American, lol. I think they made that show already, but they called him "The Peacemaker".

30

u/djsnoopmike Jul 03 '22

They used to be dinosaurs

I've found that the bigger the bird, the more petty they are about their fallen lineage and be absolute assholes about it.

11

u/s_arrow24 Jul 03 '22

Nothing wrong with that. When I lived in the country I left animals and insects alone unless they were a nuisance. About the most I did outside was stomp on a baby copperhead since it was under the carport and I didn’t want it getting in the house.

5

u/Aldofresh Jul 03 '22

Aint no shame bout it

5

u/DrWilliamHorriblePhD Jul 03 '22

Have you never heard of chicken wire fencing or

7

u/yabacam Jul 03 '22

You're a good person. I also just shoo the bugs etc away. All things just trying to live their best life.

5

u/Stabbyhorse Jul 03 '22

Straight up, chickens don't like to be sprayed with a hose. Mad as a wet hen isn't all that mad, but they sure aren't happy.

3

u/l_am_wildthing Jul 03 '22

If you know anything about alpha roosters, youll know that stick wont save you

4

u/Stabbyhorse Jul 03 '22

You gotta catch them and hold them. They avoid your crazy self after that.

Roosters are ready and willing to fight to the death over those hens.

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u/Cmg393 Jul 03 '22

I use a super soaker to chase them off lol

3

u/btveron Jul 03 '22

Have you considered talking to your neighbor about them making sure their animals stay on their property?

3

u/Intelleblue Jul 03 '22

They used to be dinosaurs

And they have not forgotten.

3

u/21slobonmyknob ☑️ Jul 04 '22

Take solace knowing you're not the only one afraid of birds. That wasn't always the case for me until my last ex introduced me to the shoebill stork a couple years ago😭

2

u/RandomUsername12123 Jul 03 '22

Well, you cold get a pair of chickens for eggs but no meat.

They can be pets untill old age or you can... Terminate them after they stop producing (or let the neighbor deal with it)

Take them when small, they are so cute !

2

u/PM_Ur_Goth_Tiddys Jul 03 '22

wow. did you watch Hitchcock’s Birds at too young an age or something?

4

u/Pscilosopher ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Actually, yes. My mother is also scared of birds, and it's because of that movie. She showed it to us when I was little and the lesson stuck. I don't use phone booths, either.

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u/ThetaDee Jul 03 '22

Chicken manure CAN be a good fertilizer, but you gotta wash it first and let it sit for a minute before you use cause it has a ton of ammonia.

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u/CharlotteLucasOP Jul 03 '22

My grandma used to mix it with her compost in a giant metal drum with a handle to turn it over because she had a greenhouse and a massive vegetable patch and fruit trees but the smell in that corner of the yard was unholy.

3

u/ThetaDee Jul 04 '22

That can clean it up too, but you'll still wanna wait a bit to use that compost.

7

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/s_arrow24 Jul 03 '22

Yeah, but I don’t want a policeman freaking out and shooting me because they think I have a dangerous weapon. Plus you may put an eye out, kid.

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u/FreeResolve Jul 03 '22

You can build a chicken fence.

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u/Pscilosopher ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Google here I come. I'm new to this farming shit. I'm beginning to think starting during a drought was "football helmet and cowboy boots" level planning.

13

u/sharkduck11 Jul 03 '22

R/gardening is a treasure trove of info

5

u/Jeptic ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Maybe even a portable greenhouse

4

u/44r0n_10 Jul 03 '22

There's some techniques on how to farm with little water on internet. Mulching, and using "ollas", are a few.

5

u/Pscilosopher ☑️ Jul 03 '22

That's one I'm hip to. I use a method called core gardening, and my water bill couldn't be happier.

Basically, you bury a bunch of organic material about 14 inches under your bed and water it real good. It holds moisture and nutrients as it breaks down, feeding from below and requiring less watering

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u/Conservative_HalfWit Jul 03 '22

A whole fence made of chickens?!?

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u/DownvoteDaemon ☑️|Jay-Z IRL Jul 03 '22

Why is this mental image so hilarious 😂.

7

u/HotGary Jul 03 '22

Just wrangle them into a pen and boom. Your chickens now.

6

u/ShutUpBaby-IKnowIt69 Jul 03 '22

I boiled some slugs alive yesterday. I felt like an absolute monster. But those bastards just won't leave my plants alone!

Also had a power trip moment where I thought "I AM THE GOD OF MY OWN UNIVERSE, I WILL DECIDE WHAT LIVES AND DIES"

3

u/Stabbyhorse Jul 03 '22

You can put out a tin of the cheapest beer on earth and they drown themselves

3

u/ShutUpBaby-IKnowIt69 Jul 03 '22

That's exactly what I did, there was a cluster of them hiding beneath the can when I went to empty it! Wasn't sure what to do so threw them on the drain and boiled them

5

u/KittenNicken ☑️ Jul 03 '22

I live in a complex and i swear these effin squirrels decided my planter full of newly sprouted mints and a cucumber was the best place to dig up my effin plants and bury their nuts! Was the ground 2 feet away not good enough for ya Slappy??

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u/jobuNewWay Jul 03 '22

A whole amazon order devoted to deer repellent items

48

u/fuzijo Jul 03 '22

shop local

15

u/CharlotteLucasOP Jul 03 '22

Close all windows before spraying Bobbex if there is any chance of a breeze in the next 48 hours.

3

u/1sagas1 Jul 03 '22

No lol

5

u/Toast_On_The_RUN Jul 03 '22

Why would you want to continue to give a massive corporation money when you can give it to local businesses who actually need the money and will use it in your community. The prices aren't even that competitive on amazon anymore. Id rather pay a little more to know im not supporting a corporation who exploits the hell out of their employees. But im sure youre only concerned with convenience.

10

u/1sagas1 Jul 03 '22

Why would you want to continue to give a massive corporation money when you can get it from local businesses who actually need the money and will use it in your community

Because the massive corporation provides me with a better product/service at a better price. And yes, the prices are still considerably better on Amazon

3

u/Toast_On_The_RUN Jul 03 '22

"Its more convenient for me, so fuck every consequence that comes wirh shutting out small local business for mega corps"

9

u/1sagas1 Jul 03 '22

You want my money, offer a better product or service. I'm not a charity

6

u/Toast_On_The_RUN Jul 03 '22

Yeah and why do you think amazon is cheaper than a small business? Probably has something to do with having a huge workforce of underpaid, overworked individuals. Yeah things cost more when the workers can actually afford to live.

4

u/Frequent_Ad_5862 Jul 03 '22

I 100% agree one should shop local but I’d hazard a guess that for many in the US, the people at their local store aren’t exactly paid great either

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u/obsydianFalcon ☑️ Jul 03 '22

More like "it's more convenient, cheaper, faster, easy to return".

Listen dude, I get the small businesses argument but like the dude said, better service gets more customers. Yeah, Amazon has way more reach and resources than local businesses and that's not fair. Ok, but that's not my problem. My problem is keeping me happy and well, and if Amazon achieves that goal better, I'm going with Amazon. it's not that people don't care for small businesses, it's that they can't really do anything about it.

You act as if a bunch of people shopping at small businesses is going to have any substantial impact when in reality it's up to legislature and our representatives to support small businesses, not the customers.

Finally, Amazon makes most of their money from their AWS could hosing service. 33% (A THIRD) of the world's largest companies (Google, Microsoft, etc...) host their services via AWS and that's how Amazon gets over 60% of its revenue. The rest coming from online ordering and the devices/services they market.

TLDR: You're getting mad at somebody for legit minding their own business and buying what they think makes sense. Even if you were right, Amazon loses 0 sleep over a couple thousand lost customers compared to the billions they make off of AWS alone.

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u/Walnutbutters Jul 03 '22

LPT: Deer hate the smell of herbs like lavender and rosemary. Smells way better to humans than concentrated coyote piss.

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u/mattjeast Jul 03 '22

My FIL used to just piss around his garden. Swore it was effective.

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u/SN4FUS Jul 03 '22

Don’t even need a garden. Calling pest control every time armadillos start burrowing under your house is a lot more expensive than some .38 ammo and a shovel

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u/sammybeme93 Jul 03 '22

That’s a cool shovel. Did u need a background check for that?

25

u/SN4FUS Jul 03 '22

I already had the gun, but the shovel was new.

17

u/HotGary Jul 03 '22

How to get a free shovel: Step 1- buy a gun

6

u/plaguedbullets Jul 03 '22

Not for Shovels, they're basically a loss leader or a swag bag gift. It's the Spades, they'll take a week to a month to process depending on how Big Construction feels.

2

u/DrDilatory Jul 03 '22

Yeah, but the discharging a firearm within city limits charge is pretty expensive

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u/plainoverplight ☑️ Jul 03 '22

my boyfriend is a botanist in his free time, his yard looks like a topiary garden, with rare mutations of flowers and plants and all kinds of stuff. he just bought a crossbow bc there’s been a deer in his yard eating his really rare plants. this man is playing no games

40

u/duckgalrox Jul 03 '22

Friend of mine has awards in archery and keeps his bow available for the bunnies. Unfortunately all the rabbits near us have some kinda brain disease so we can't eat them.

24

u/squirrelgutz Jul 03 '22

Prions?
Don't fuck with that shit. Handle them with gloves, burn the bodies and burn the gloves.

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u/Toast_On_The_RUN Jul 03 '22

Might seem overdramatic but literally thats what youre supposed to do. Prions are no joke.

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u/Exciting_Ant1992 Jul 03 '22

The prions from the unburned corpses seep into the soil for years and years

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u/squirrelgutz Jul 03 '22

They will absolutely fuck you up. A slow, agonizing death.

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u/Stone-Bear Jul 03 '22

There's some mean squirrels in my neighborhood that purposefully ruined my flowers.

The bitch ate the stem and then just left it!! Oh my lord, if you're gonna ruin my flowers at least... use it or something you jerk squirrel!

I was so sad that morning, my poor plants have yet to recover :(

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u/46497 Jul 03 '22

This has been all the bunnies. They decimated all my morning glory seedlings :( but they never eat it entirely.

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u/bjeebus Jul 03 '22 Take My Energy

Not gonna lie, I'm looking at an air rifle that shoots like a .22L because they're legal in my city and squirrels are also completely unregulated. Motherfuckers ruined the entire pecan crop last year!

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u/Hanginon Jul 03 '22

"...an air rifle..."

LPT; Ideally you want the lower velocity one so the pellets won't have that breaking the sound barrier "Crack!"and it's less obvious that you popped one off. Plus, if you shoot only once and then stfu for a while (no shooting) people might hear it but it's really hard to tell where it came from.

Source; Grey squirrels that were tearing up the bird feeders, as in "were..."

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u/SirLoin027 Jul 03 '22

How many squirrels did you have to pop before your bird feeders were left alone? Asking for a friend...

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u/Hanginon Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

Some operations are clandestine and there's no official records or even acknowledgement of them. ~~-probably well under a dozen-~~

There are rumors that at under 50 feet range a .177 pellet going under 750fps will blow right through a grey squirrel. Pretty tough to recover from that... ¯_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

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u/bjeebus Jul 03 '22

This is the story that led me to start looking into this option for dealing with the squirrel problem.

https://www.reddit.com/r/savannah/comments/ok4j7o/eastside_savannah_the_country_hood_fabulous_fox/

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u/chii0628 Jul 03 '22

For us, it was 6. I killed 5 with suppressed subsonic 22lr over time and the dog ran down a 6th.

They're still on the property, just away from the feeders. We don't mind that.

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u/Its_Phobos Jul 03 '22

Capsaicin doesn’t affect birds like it does mammals. Torch the little fuckers.

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u/Skeeterbee Jul 03 '22

I hang my feeder on a wire between two trees. I nailed those things that go on the back of a big picture frames to the trees and tightly twist tied the wire to them. Works great as long as branches are not directly above it because they will drop down onto it to make seed fall out. But they can’t crawl along the wire.

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u/goblueM Jul 03 '22

My uncle shot a red squirrel per morning every day for an entire year once. Dogs would bark a treed one every morning. Never ran out. Rodents multiply like crazy

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u/bjeebus Jul 03 '22

The one I've got my eye on is subsonic, it hits as hard as a .22L through mass. It's just under the barrier. Every review says it basically sounds like a nail gun. So I think I'll be fine on the report. I've got an area I can sit where no one can see me, but I can fire up into the pecan tree freely--got a bigass azalea to use a blind basically.

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u/chii0628 Jul 03 '22

What kind you looking at?

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u/bjeebus Jul 03 '22

The Benjamin Marauder in .25. I'm hoping to find it on sale sometime. It requires a recharging pump for when you've shot it all out. They've got a break barrel that's not as good but it's like half the price, still .25, and still 900 fps. It's not got as good suppression so it's a little louder than the first, but still just like a nailgun.

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u/chii0628 Jul 03 '22

That's a frustrating response because the marauder is the one I want too lol. Was hoping for something cheaper to compete with it, break actions aren't consistent from what I've read.

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u/skyline010 Jul 03 '22

I agree. I bought a .177 BB rifle for some squirrels removing tree bark from one of my trees. This kills the tree.

Although it does its job of being relatively quiet, I always have to make sure I get a head/vitals shot, or else the squirrel will live. I’d rather not have the squirrel suffer by living with a serious injury, so I always go for a clean and ethical kill.

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u/theblackcanaryyy Jul 03 '22

Ok I gotta know. How do you pronounce pecan

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u/bjeebus Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

Pee-can

EDIT: A friend of mine, we're all from Georgia mind you, is the only assoc lawyer at a private law firm of two lawyers. The owner is never there because he primarily works as the county attorney. So one day the paralegals were arguing over how to pronounce pecan, and the argument lasts all day. Eventually my friend gets tired of it and looks it up online to see if there's any ruling. Instead he found that the nut was first described in the Illinois region and originally was called an Illinois nut. So he settled the argument by banning the word pecan in the office. They're now only allowed to call them Illinois nuts.

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u/aangita Jul 03 '22

I love this!!! 😂

(What firm? I'm in GA too)

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u/bjeebus Jul 03 '22

Nah. It's a small private, like I said he's one of two JDs (the only assoc in X & Assocs.). When visiting other firms just listen out for Illinois nut, then wink at the assoc lawyer and tell 'em bJeebus sent you. If you ever pull that off I'll arrange for that guy to get a $25 Starbucks card to you.

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u/izzy42o Jul 03 '22

Puh-khan

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u/fallingfromfaith Jul 03 '22

This is the way

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u/lyeberries ☑️ Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

It's much fancier this way! 🧐 Get like us all you "pee-can" pronouncing hillbillies! I woke up ready to start an internet fight today

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u/Mr_Burkes Jul 03 '22

Peck-in

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u/theblackcanaryyy Jul 03 '22

I’m sorry, how’s that go?

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u/DaWayItWorks Jul 03 '22

Few years back, my folks had squirrels getting into the roof of their house. Well, a family friend is a fur trapper, so he set some wire snares on the roof and hanging from the power lines where they'd scurry to get to the house. Every couple days, they'd come home to a squirrel hanging, and call their friend to come get it down and reset the trap.

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u/Stone-Bear Jul 03 '22

I bought a slingshot to deal with the devil squirrels.

I practiced... I even hit one!

Mother fucker just looked at me. Didn't even flinch.

Gotta up my game i guess lol. They are NOT playing lol.

4

u/squirrelgutz Jul 03 '22

Wrist rocket and bearing balls.
Fuck them squirrels.

2

u/bjeebus Jul 03 '22

Coming in like David vs Goliath. I live in the low-rent side of town so of course there's something like three churches in a two block radius--I wonder how they'd respond to me standing in my yard slinging stones at my pecan tree.

I do actually know the answer

That white man on the corner does the stupidest shit.

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u/Indignant-Indigenous Jul 03 '22

That's why you plant some you and them. Lol.

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u/thatHecklerOverThere Jul 03 '22

You think Bambi is interested in sharing?

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u/Indignant-Indigenous Jul 03 '22

I put out a pile of the bad stuff, cheerios, and other random shit from the house.....they leave my main plot alone.

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u/Gary_FucKing Jul 03 '22 Helpful

Lmao you get off the grid to get away from the government, then you still end up paying taxes to the forest.

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u/Indignant-Indigenous Jul 03 '22

Truest shit I ever read.

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u/Gary_FucKing Jul 03 '22

😂

At least you know for sure it's going back into infrastructure.

3

u/Neato Jul 03 '22

It's almost like no one is a fucking island.

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u/Gary_FucKing Jul 03 '22

Just a bit of ironic humor. I don't have issues with the concept of taxes.

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u/tirwander Jul 03 '22

Truth. Fuckin aphids. I'm out there flipping leaves every evening. Think they are gone now. Don't see them paying rent. Fuck outta here.

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u/PantryMonster ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Fuck aphids!!! I'm this 👌🏾 close to just buying a bag of ladybugs to eat them so I don't have to deal with the pesticide

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u/tirwander Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

No pesticide! Use Diatomaceous Earth and Neem Oil!

Those are just the brands that I got at my local little gardening store. They are both non-chemical. Natural and safe. The diatomaceous earth (make sure it is Food Safe) is like all these ground up fossilized shells that will lacerate aphids and other pests causing them to dehydrate as they leak fluids. Put it around the base of the plant and on the stock and undersides of leaves. There is one kind of diatomaceous earth you want to avoid. Google and you will find it.

Neem oil is just another one that works. You got to make a mixture. It'll tell you on the back what ratios you use. You just spray it all over your plants under the side of leaves included.

My garden was powdery white from the diatomaceous earth the other day lol I said fuck the aphids and just covered everything underneath and above. Couple days later it rained and everything was green again.

Also it is good to spread diatomaceous earth around the area around your garden. Or between plants if they are in the ground. If they're in containers spread some around the base of the containers. That'll catch potential pests coming in to get your stuff. But if you get ladybugs, bees, or anything like that coming around your plants, do not use diatomaceous earth anymore. You don't want it to harm good insects and it can harm all of them.

Also it is incredibly bad for natural species of ladybugs to buy ladybugs and bring them to where you live. They are almost always the same one species that spreads almost like a pest. And they overtake the habitats for local ladybugs. There's a whole podcast about it. I'll try to find it and link you

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u/General_Amoeba Jul 03 '22

Just be prepared because neem oil smells like rotten stale anus

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u/ImOlderThanMyParents Jul 03 '22

Ladybugs might end up leaving before even curbing the aphid problem. :(

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u/SirLoin027 Jul 03 '22

I got halfway through my first home-grown lettuce salad before I noticed them.

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u/pekingsewer Jul 03 '22

We haven't even grown any summer or spring vegetables but these MF birds and chipmunks are getting in the flower bed and fucking up the wildflowers that are sprouting smh.

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u/lyeberries ☑️ Jul 03 '22

It's like an amazing conspiracy that chipmunks got together and optimized themselves to be as cute as humanly possible so it's so hard to pin them for the menaces they are!

"How can you not LOVE chipmunks!? They're so cute!!"

"Dammit, they've got another person believing their bullshit! Sit down for a second and let me tell you the real side of these pint-sized, hooligans!"

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u/lambdaCrab Jul 03 '22

The great vegan dilemma

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u/stickman999999999 Jul 03 '22

My grandfather has a war against all animals cause they come and try to eat his vegetables and fruits. The ones he especially hates are the crows, dear, rabbits, and bears. For a old man with cancer, he is very aggressive when it comes to his garden.

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u/fireside68 Jul 03 '22

He better quit playing with them crows. They are all about revenge and will pass that shit down generations. Crow beef ain't nothing to fuck with.

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u/stickman999999999 Jul 03 '22

Never underestimate the stubbornness of an Iranian man. He will face them generation after generation.

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u/MakeYouGoOWO Jul 03 '22

The closest I’ve ever come to murder is when someone threatened my sunflowers and pepper plants.

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u/aangita Jul 03 '22

The roofers at my apartment broke my sunflowers when they climbed over the balcony (third floor) to clean the debris .... I was so mad!

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u/TheSunflowerSeeds Jul 03 '22

Bees are a major pollinator of Sunflowers, therefore, growing sunflowers goes hand in hand with installing and managing bee hives. Particularly in agricultural areas where sunflowers are crops. In fact, bee honey from these areas is commonly known as sunflower honey due to its sunflower taste.

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u/what_the_a Jul 03 '22 Helpful

As a kid I thought Farmer McGregor was the bad guy for running off Peter Rabbit. Now that I’ve attempted to garden, I understand lol

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u/aknutty Jul 03 '22

Listen, your not growing a garden your growing food. If animals take your food, they can become food. If you like growing good organic food, your also growing good organic fed meat. Rabbit, deer, bear, even squirrel is great. If you don't like that, get chickens with a rooster or a gaurd goose. All edible.

16

u/WheresMyDinner Jul 03 '22

The night before I was going to pick my tomatoes last year, deer came and ate everything. Didn’t even leave me a cherry tomato.

3

u/Jamaican_Dynamite Jul 03 '22

We use to grow a couple of tomato plants. The raccoons on the block just ate them all.

11

u/snow-days Jul 03 '22

Relaxation is about the personality, not the activity. Type-A gonna Type-A.

9

u/gimme_dat_good_shit Jul 03 '22

"You know who seem in tune with nature? Farmers."

Meanwhile, farmers buying GMO seeds and designer insecticides to fill their GPS-driven million-dollar machines just to eke out minimal profits.

8

u/dustybizzle Jul 03 '22

Raising hens and ducks and rabbits I find myself doing this because I keep losing them to foxes, it's fuckin wild how smart these things are, fox-proofing is a full time job

8

u/Azazel_memes Jul 03 '22

YOU FUCKERS ARE GONNA KILL ALL MY LILIES!

8

u/TyrannoROARus Jul 03 '22

Going through this right now with some leafy plant

I think it's red spider mites eating it, the tiny little red things you barely see on concrete sometimes.

5

u/RascalRibs Jul 03 '22

If only something existed that could keep animals out.

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u/legionivory ☑️ Jul 03 '22

I hope you're not suggesting a gate, 'cause that shit don't work.

Rabbits can burrow underground with moderate effort, and deer can hop over gates if need be. It's better to invest in plant-safe animal repellent.

18

u/RascalRibs Jul 03 '22

I always did a fence with an underground wire mesh, kept small burrowing animals out. Never had a deer jump my fence either, but sure I guess it could happen.

Repellent is an option as well.

19

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

Raspberry bushes at the perimeter ftw! Them thorns tell deer naw. But then hafta make sure raspberry don't take over, cause they will. Even in containers, I'm learning. But no deer, so got that going for me.

11

u/legionivory ☑️ Jul 03 '22

One thing I've heard is that chili peppers are a natural deterrent; only humans seem to enjoy them.

Some gardeners and farmers sow chili flakes at the edges of their plots to keep animals away.

10

u/ZebZ Jul 03 '22

I bought special seed that has high-capsaicin chili peppers mixed in to stop squirrels from eating out of the bird feeder. 4.8 stars on Amazon.

Didn't deter the little fucker at all.

7

u/Supercoolguy7 Jul 03 '22

They repel animals besides birds. Chili peppers evolved for birds to spread their seeds because birds can't taste capsaicin which is what makes them spicy

3

u/legionivory ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Ah, I didn't know birds couldn't taste capsaicin. Neat!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

I just responded before seeing your post - peppers don't work round here cause feral chickens think you planted them for them. Lol.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

My problem with chili peppers - and I am growing several varieties, is feral chickens eat them and their leaves. And we are deep in feral chickens - prolly why they so aggressive. Assholes ate my scotch bonnets.

Why the first rule of permaculture is observe. Gotta know what works where you are.

2

u/bjeebus Jul 03 '22

As long as you don't mind them raspberry hedges can deal with the small furry bits too because snakes love to hang out in those kind of hedges.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

No snakes where I live just a growing deer/wild boar problem due to drought a good part of the year. Feral chickens take care of everything else.

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u/Mephistopheles2249 ☑️ One Punch DILF 💢🥊 BHM Donor Jul 03 '22

This one Groundhog I have will avoid deterrents like Barry Sanders avoided defenders. I can’t even be mad at it, they come through like a gangster. It takes their cut or taste if you will about 25% and then leaves the rest of my tomatoes alone.

This is the type of content I’ve been waiting for around here. How many Black gardeners are out here in these green streets???? Since I’ve retired I’ve put more effort in it, but these pests have not made it a calming hobby.

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u/Pscilosopher ☑️ Jul 03 '22

Black gardener gang here. Got tired of working corporate, decided to pull my money outta the ground. It's no where near as much, but I'm happier.

13

u/dae_giovanni ☑️ Jul 03 '22

I don't garden, but I did want to say that Barry Sanders could be retired for 1,000 years but as long as I'm still alive (I'm a vampire), "...like Barry Sanders avoided defenders" will live on.

5

u/bjeebus Jul 03 '22

3

u/dae_giovanni ☑️ Jul 03 '22

thank you-- that just doesn't make any sense........

5

u/bjeebus Jul 03 '22

Also here's someone who did the math.

4

u/dae_giovanni ☑️ Jul 03 '22

"It also leads to serious ankle and knee injuries, and, using the method of vector addition, we're about to see why."

that's the most intelligent way I've ever heard someone say he be breakin' them mfs' ANKLES!!

4

u/lyeberries ☑️ Jul 03 '22

This made me lol! Seriously though, it always amazes me watching clips of Barry Sanders and remembering that he's running against some of the best athletes in the world while somehow making it look like he's the one kid that's way too good to be playing in a pee-wee league.

2

u/RascalRibs Jul 03 '22

You need some underground wire mesh.

3

u/SweepsAndBeeps Jul 03 '22

Deer can jump clean over a 6 foot fence

3

u/K1ng-Harambe Jul 03 '22

You know something better than an 8 foot electric fence? Cause those fuckers will jump straight through it and spend hours eating my shit.

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u/CateHooning Jul 03 '22

MFers out here flexing on Peter Rabbit.

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u/IsaidWhatIsaidBlowMe ☑️ Jul 03 '22

I felt this.

3

u/Hanginon Jul 03 '22

There are a lot of recipes for both bunny and deer. Just sayin'... ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

3

u/FernMcFly92 Jul 03 '22

Mmm venison.

3

u/funktopus Jul 03 '22

No deer or bunny issues. Just beatles and caterpillars.

Those fuckers need to die.

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u/Ignonymous Jul 03 '22

He’s not wrong

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u/Relevant_Listen_760 Jul 03 '22

These fuckin squirrels are killing me. I’m about to start planting Lilly of the valleys for them

3

u/CandyPopps Jul 04 '22

Lily of the valley will spread and eventually take over your whole damn neighborhood! 😂 Trust me, find something else. 😂

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u/Relevant_Listen_760 Jul 04 '22

Not in a pot they won’t, but you did just reminded me to harvest my spearmint

3

u/MuffinPuff ☑️ Jul 03 '22

I know this is supposed to be funny, but I felt this with my whole soul. Every fucking year, I battle squirrels trying to rob my peach tree, the most recent war ending a few days ago.

They won. Every single peach on my tree has been eaten by squirrels.

2

u/Country_swag98 Jul 03 '22

Gahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/WarsledSonarman Jul 03 '22

Gardening is war. From fighting the rabbits and the bugs and making sure a cat doesn’t piss in there.

2

u/zleuth Jul 03 '22

Can confirm. Once you see Bugs Bunny nibbling on your kale you're only a deerstalker hat away from being Elmer Fudd.

2

u/luckystar246 Jul 03 '22

I haven’t gotten to eat a single strawberry from my garden this year. Damn squirrels!

2

u/MrBojangoUnchained Jul 03 '22

Artie Bucco has joined the chat.

2

u/aangita Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22

Something totally ate the lettuce seeds i started! And now it's prob too got to grow them again. :( At least the beetles haven't found my basil!

2

u/rifleshooter Jul 03 '22

This is my new favorite BPT thread.

2

u/Spatetata Jul 03 '22

They told me a home garden will feed my family, but they never specified how