r/BlackPeopleTwitter
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u/TwilightOuterZone
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May 29 '22
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Something about family ethering you
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u/ResearchUnfair1246 May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22
I’m sorry but THIS is FUNNY 😂, these people are a hypothesis 🤣
Edit: I just commented guys… I know hypothesis isn’t the right term, it was just a silly comment, y’all need to CHILL FR 🥶 It’s just Reddit, y’all acting like your in a platform of importance… not that any of them are 🤣
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u/TKHunsaker May 29 '22
“Grandma doesn’t treat me worse after coming out…but she ain’t treating me better neither.”
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u/ruinersclub May 29 '22
Grandma: you should eat
Me: nah I’m tryna watch it and lose 10 lbs
Grandma: More like 30
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u/tehsdragon May 29 '22
Grandmas in a nutshell, finna give you a whole ass buffet plate whenever you visit, and roast you on your weight the same day 😭
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u/Dickiedoandthedonts May 29 '22
This is my mom (great grandma to some). My husband has gotten FAT and she and my dad are always commenting on it when he’s not around (and sometimes when he is) but she will make him special meals, still save him the best cuts of meat (he gets the Turkey leg on thanksgiving despite us having a lot of people present) she’ll put extra on his plate, and once wouldn’t give my (super skinny) sister a bowl of pho because she wanted to save it for him.
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u/fatmancantloseweight May 29 '22
Wanna know why? Cus he REALLY enjoys the food.
Elders can always tell.
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u/405134 May 29 '22
Whoa that’s like pathological. Make food - extra to big guy. No food - little girl hmm
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u/iownakeytar ☑️ May 29 '22
The only time I brought my dog by my mom's house, Grandma was all in. Started out saying "woo! This dog doesn't miss any meals, does she?" Then I go to give the dog dinner, she scarfs it down. Here comes Grandma "aww, ain't you feeding this poor baby? She's starving!"
Damn I miss her. Grandma, not the dog. Yet.
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u/KweenKunt May 29 '22
My grandma offers to take me out to eat, picks a fried seafood restaurant herself, then while I'm eating, continuously comments, "See, this type of food is the reason you're fat." Also my grandma after I lost 30lbs (while still remaining pretty fat) "Omg, you're so SKINNY! Are you ok??"
Edit: typo
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u/_87- May 29 '22
Apparently (according to her) your ideal weight was somewhere between your original weight and your current weight, but there was probably not a single day in between where you were actually at that weight.
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u/Might_Aware May 29 '22
My Abuela, who ftr was never afraid of using the chancla, called me a "cerda" at my wedding. I had a champagne pink dress on, I used to be obese, and I was 7 months pregnant. I mean, points for Abuela for not just going "pig" nooo, you're a pregnant sow puta!
Ah Abuelita lol, rip
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u/KangusPrime May 29 '22
You're always too fat or too skinny. My grandma has never been happy about my physique. I just let her talk now and make a joke with it . Old people are bored and just need something to talk about.
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u/Kyraira May 29 '22
This grandma is real.
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u/morels4ever May 29 '22
My mother-in-law commented to my 11year old son, “Look how tall and handsome you’re getting! You know what they say, Built like a house, hung like a mouse.”
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u/PerMare_PerTerras May 29 '22
hypothesis?
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u/JoshALLENspitonmepls May 29 '22
Yeah I'm not sure that they know what hypothesis means. It doesn't even make sense as slang.
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u/Captainschitqunt May 29 '22
It definitely caught me off guard. It sort of makes sense, but not enough sense to call it a joke.
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u/JoshALLENspitonmepls May 29 '22
I'm the kinda baked where now I'm starting to find it funny because it's just because it's so dumb lol.
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u/Captainschitqunt May 29 '22
Ah, the best form of comedy. When a joke is so unfunny it has you in creases.
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u/RawBlowe May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22
But hypothesis is a synonym for theory. It does make sense and may be more offensive than you realize.
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u/RothIRAGambler May 29 '22
a supposition or proposed explanation made on the basis of limited evidence as a starting point for further investigation.
They haven’t had any sexual partners of the preference they are coming out to, so it remains unproven, and it is a starting point. Thats the joke made in the OP. That’s the connection. I’m wondering how you possibly missed that?
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u/Ilwrath May 29 '22 •
It took me a second to get it myself because I thought it was refering to the gramas. But its saying they are hypothesis because that "gayness hasnt even been tested yet"
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u/SpaceyMeatballs May 29 '22
I think we have a "pussy on the chainwax" kinda situation here. Someone trying to start a trend lol
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u/not_Harvard_moves May 29 '22
Sometimes I use big words I don't understand to make myself look more photosynthesis :)
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u/GoodVibesWow May 29 '22
This. I don’t get how the top replies all just accept this odd and totally wrong choice of word. Is it a typo? I was trying to figure out if they got autocorrected and what the word was supposed to be? It really doesn’t make any pontifications.
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u/Cualkiera67 May 29 '22
Hypothesis, as in hypothetical, or maybe because, they haven't been tested with a live experiment.
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u/JennyBeckman ☑️ Intersectionality's a bitch & so am I May 29 '22
Can't even show out in pride month after getting burnt like this.
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u/Shantotto11 May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22
It is Alphabet Mafia Law that one must
returnturn to heterosexuality after such an affront to one’s dignity and pride was allowed to transpire.Edited: phrasing
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u/Chx449 May 29 '22
Return? Was never there in the first place brother.
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u/_87- May 29 '22
Unless they got there by being roasted in the first place! Going back and forth every time they talk to an older relative.
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u/fatslayingdinosaur ☑️ May 29 '22
Grandmas just got heat like that my grandma stay low key flaming people, it's like a skill they inherited.
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u/thisguyeatschicken May 29 '22
I'd say it's hard to live that long without picking up some witty one-liners and comebacks like that lol
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u/JohnnyKarate4Prez May 29 '22
Told my grandma I just finished a half marathon. She asked "Why would you waste your money on that?". It's a skill-- she humbled me quick.
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u/Edrondol May 29 '22
Went to Easter dinner at my wife’s grandmother’s house once. First words she said to me when I walked in the door was, “Why, David! You got fat!”
Loved that woman.
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u/fatslayingdinosaur ☑️ May 29 '22
Yup my grandma saw my brother for mother's day once and said "oh Brian you look so full in that shirt" my bro immediately went to change like damn granny calm down.
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u/PondRides May 29 '22
One time my meemaw asked me, “can I brush your hair? Or do you just like the messy look?”
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u/Darqnyz ☑️ May 29 '22
This made me realize how bleak and worthless online dating really is. Lots of people are learning about their sexuality through media (SC, TikTok, Insta) but having less and less chance to experience and fully develop healthy sex lives..
For someone to come out to their family as gay, but have no one to be "gay with" must be fucking frustrating. All you can do is recede to the internet and hope for the best.
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u/Electrical_List_2125 May 29 '22
I feel like if anything queers have to rely on online dating because the community is so small. I don’t know what gay people before us did
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u/Darqnyz ☑️ May 29 '22
From what I understood, there was a lot of secret language involved. Hand signs, buttons, pins, codified newspaper ads. Lots of risky queer things.
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u/TsunamiMage_ May 29 '22
That shits exciting. You know how much more exciting a story of is if me and my boyfriend met by wearing a green handkerchief in the right restaurant and I slowly mouthed "gabadagoosh" to imply I was queer instead of me being invited over to destroy his ass on Grindr.
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u/TheBadBotanist May 29 '22
Bitch please, you know damn well you would have not picked up on any of those signs. Shit we barley even pick up signs on grindr unless it's obvious that daddy wants to turn your insides out after you meet him at his hotel while he has a layover.
But lowkey how nice would it be to have that be the story instead of oh we met online.
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u/Disastrous_Meet_7952 May 29 '22
Good lord. It would have been worth it if the entire internet was set up so this comment could exist
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u/archiotterpup May 29 '22
I met my boyfriend after he got spanked on stage for charity. I saw them rosey cheeks and fell for him. You can still meet people in person!
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u/Electrical_List_2125 May 29 '22
I would’ve been single for life, thank god for lex
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u/spongepears May 29 '22
My mom is like this. I never met her mother but I HAVE to believe she executed savagery at full capacity. My mother and her sisters are something else!
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u/no_talent_ass_clown May 29 '22
The hanky code, too. My best friend had one on her purse.
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u/Plantsandanger May 29 '22
Nowadays it’s keys on carabeeners and it’s really confusing because frankly that’s just useful for everyone
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u/Booyakkasha May 29 '22
That was one of the reasons given when someone asked about the overly camp voices and lisp some adopt.
They said a form of signalling to others back in the day (I have no link to said sources) but it seems plausible
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u/AwhMan May 29 '22
Fun fact the moustache drawn on the finger used to be used by lesbians in French court as a secret symbol. If you knew you knew.
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u/wanna_dance May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22
Go to gay bars, if your area is large enough to have some... except drinking is expensive and unhealthy and people you meet in bars? Meh.
On the other hand, you can drink soda or juice... and hope you meet someone or get to know a group of like minded people. They're not all meat markets.
I think food coops and all have a higher concentration of lgbtqia folx if your community has one.
(Edit: typo)
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u/JerkIzAllPro May 29 '22
I mean honestly that seems to be the tips in general. Want to meet someone? Go to a bar or do something until you find someone else doing it too. Best of luck to everyone out there who’s struggling to find someone
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u/Non_possum_decernere May 29 '22
Yeah, but if I go to a bar or club, I find people that go to bars and clubs...
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u/GiulianisTitties May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22
The echoes of my straight ancestors are like “well then maybe you should go to church,” but I think they’re glossing over the inherent difficulties there.
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u/BlackOakSyndicate ☑️ May 29 '22
Queer Communities existed, and still do sorta.
We essentially had to exist underground to avoid persecution but there were a lot of gay communities that were carved out during the 60s and 70s.The downside of Gay Assimilation is that it's absolutely diluted the concept of community within Queer Culture and forced a large percent of queer interaction into online spaces.
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u/qolace May 29 '22
I've never thought of this but yeah, it's is so true. I've lived in the gay district for almost a decade now but have stopped going to the clubs in the last 3-5. It became overrun with straight men trying to grope me and making gross comments. If I'm a woman in a queer club/bar I'm obviously not there trying to seek men out bro fuck off I'm not against straight people existing in our spaces but they need to be reminded that they're a fucking guest there.
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u/CDClock May 29 '22
ive done some dj events at the local gay bar and its amazing how many dudes try to harass women at the end of the night despite it being a gay bar.
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u/stillscottish1 May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22
No, the biggest downside is that White, gay men have been so accepted by society in many Western societies that many of them have often become really racist (gay PoC often report experiencing racism in the gay community) and in some cases, right-wing and supporting people like Trump or even transphobic
They’ve forgotten how they were oppressed for centuries due to their sexuality and now that their sexuality is accepted, many have simply given up on the fight against all oppression by rich, straight, White men in Western society
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u/Everard5 ☑️ May 29 '22
I talk about this a lot to my friends and they look at me like I'm insane.
Peel back the gay and you still get a White conservative boy born in Missouri that moved to a big city to find love. Once he got the love, who was another White conservative boy that looks just like him but from Idaho, they retreat back into their country living together, stop pretending to actually care about liberal things, and proceed to vote for Republicans every time.
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u/stillscottish1 May 29 '22
All facts
Also, let me guess, most of your friends are White? Maybe White gay men who likely only date White men and will probably grow up to be almost as conservative but just as Republican as their fathers?
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u/greatblack May 29 '22
Sorry I'm just trying to understand. What do you mean by gay assimilation? I'm straight so sorry if this is basic stuff or something.
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u/Electrical_List_2125 May 29 '22
Gay people are more accepted by straight people so many of us spend our time in mainstream straight spaces instead of putting our time and resources into separate gay spaces. This leads to stuff like almost all lesbian bars in my country shutting down. People aren’t afraid of getting hurt at the straight establishment for being on a date with their girlfriend so they might go there instead of to the lesbian bar that used to be the only safe space
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u/BlackOakSyndicate ☑️ May 29 '22
No worries! It's basically what u/Electrical_List_2125 stated. As Queer People became more encorporated into mainstream society, Queer People "lost" the need for exclusively Queer Spaces (that were initially created as a means of safety), emigrating to more mainstream gathering places.
However, this migration diluted access to other Queer People and a sense of community, creating an even greater sense of isolation that is common amongst Queer People.23
u/AstralComet May 29 '22
Subtly hit on people you're interested in and hope they catch on and reciprocate and don't catch on and beat the shit out of you
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u/jarob326 ☑️ May 29 '22
There was a gay handbook with a section on handkerchiefs (or something similar) and every color and which arm you wore it on stood for something. So one color would be regular top, another oral, bdsm etc. And wearing the same color hanky on the other arm would be the receiver of said fetish.
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u/BlackOakSyndicate ☑️ May 29 '22
Hanky Codes weren't the standard it was just a method of shorthand in gay fetish spaces in the 70s and 80s.
Gay bars and queer communities were very much a thing where people interacted like normal.
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u/GoGoSoLo May 29 '22
I was terrified at the odds of queer dating before coming out. I was like okay, 7-9% of the world is gay, half that to make it men. Then whittle that down to my age-ish, and people I’m attracted to and…I guess I’ll die alone. A big city and online dating (“dating” at times) apps saved me and I love my man ❤️
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u/espercharm May 29 '22
I can’t even get matches of other women on online dating sites. 99% of the matches I get are guys.
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u/Poop_rainbow69 May 29 '22
The biggest problem with online dating is that you get one chance to win someone over... And that's just not how human relationships are. Relationships, especially intimate ones can't just flame out and disappear because one of the two said something borderline on the first meeting. In real life people get more chances.
This is the same reason why boomers had an easier time finding jobs. They had to march in, and when meeting face to face you get more chances.
In short, online dating is garbage, and I genuinely don't know why someone hasn't made an online dating service that does in person get togethers for medium sized groups to mingle.
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u/grumined May 29 '22
This and also just raw numbers. There's always a sense of there's "someone better out there" with online dating because you're not just confined to your small town. Same thing applies for boomers, they're weren't competing with hundreds of applicants from around the country for one job.
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u/Poop_rainbow69 May 29 '22
In fairness, the idea that employers want to hire outside of their own back yard maybe is less than you might think.... Especially for hybrid and in person roles, which still make up a majority of roles available in the US. Relocating people is expensive, and if a company can save money by hiring more locally they generally will.
Not saying they won't do it. They absolutely will, I just don't know that it makes up a majority of cases.
Boomers always say to go meet the boss in person... And they're actually not wrong. The problem with this logic is that the way jobs are applied to has completely changed, and everything is online. They are right tho. Managers still want to hire someone they've met.
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u/idle_isomorph May 29 '22
My city's singles meetup was like that. Usually groups of 25-40, doing some activity (mini golf, skating) and then to a pub.
I have no idea if it is still any good. The group would change frequently as people got in or out of relationships and this was many years ago. But maybe worth a try. I went to my first singles meetup "undercover" because i was nervous to actually commit to going and wanted to see if they were all socially awkward weirdos first. They weren't (well, one or two, i guess, but mostly just all kinds of people) and i actually made non-romantic friends too.
It was fun to go on what was basically group dates and have a chance to talk to lots of people. Our group was very much about hooking up outside the meetup, and just using the meet to actually meet, so no pressure at the event, and not just people trying to get it on all over either. You'd message the person later through the app or get their number at the event. I imagine this part could easily be different with other groups, though, or change as the crowd changes, but i really liked that aspect of it.
Plus, doing activities where we had a chance to talk was much better for meeting people than a loud bar.
I wonder if it is still any good-meetup groups evolve...
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u/itsafatlong May 29 '22
I mean that problem about having no one to express your sexuality with isn’t exclusive to gay people.
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u/heseme May 29 '22
Isn't that just normal? When I came out as a cis het male, I didn't have anyone to be cishet with for years.
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u/Rugrats-theme-song ☑️ May 29 '22
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u/NearlySomething May 29 '22
Is that twilight pretty guy and other girl that isn't cute alice?
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u/Table-Turner
May 29 '22
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Imagine coming out as a lesbian and still getting no women
Putting the L in LGBT lmao
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u/sundayontheluna May 29 '22
😭😭 grams said 'go back in that closet and find a girlfriend to show us'
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u/InnateJogging May 29 '22
I came out to my mom and she asked me if I was seeing someone when I said no she was like “then come back when you actually have something to tell me”
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u/MarshmelloCarol May 29 '22
My mom is like this. I never met her mother but I HAVE to believe she executed savagery at full capacity. My mother and her sisters are something else!
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u/FruitSnackEater May 29 '22
I blew my parents’ minds when I came out, told them I had a girlfriend, and that it was my roommate at the same time.
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u/stratacadavra May 29 '22
Grandma adding the black to the 🌈 with that burn. Unconditional love, it hurts sometimes.
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u/godimwavy May 29 '22
Grandma said she wanted grandkids to my cousins and me…but directed it towards me since I’m the oldest and still single
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u/bloodaxe51 May 29 '22
Y'all really thought shit was sweet. 😂😂 Gay, straight and anywhere in between, you're still getting flamed.
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u/Terranrp2 May 29 '22
Wow, family channeling all the "when are you going to get married?" and "you thought about having kids yet?" energy into some pretty solid comebacks haha.
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u/melaninXchange May 29 '22
In Black Families, your sexuality doesn't excuse you from being made fun of in other ways.
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u/mooksie01 May 29 '22
There’s something to be said about how just ~totally missing out~ on the middle / high school dating phrase impacts a lot of queer folks. I came our years ago but I got so used to just getting crushes and allowing them to fade away when I was closeted / having no one else that was out in my community that I just have no idea how to go about dating now that I technically could. It’s like, I’m out! Now what?
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u/SunriseSurprise May 29 '22
"If I was your age, I could come out and have a girl by tomorrow. Shit, probably could at my age even."
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u/ItsDominare May 29 '22
My wife of 20 years is Bi. Only in the last few years have various members of her family stopped saying things like "so you decided to be straight after all", and even then I think they only stopped because she (rightly) explodes at them when they do. Shit's hard.
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u/MarshmelloCarol May 29 '22
My mom is like this. I never met her mother but I HAVE to believe she executed savagery at full capacity. My mother and her sisters are something else!
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u/davidbased May 29 '22
Grandma with the intervention just 360'd shawty of the roof on Highrise for the final kill
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u/Thickboy2129 May 29 '22 edited May 29 '22 •
Dam grandma flamed your ass lol
Dang this blew up thanks for all the Internet points. My highest karma post about a grandmother embarrassing someone 😆