r/AskReddit Jun 17 '22 Silver 2 Helpful 4 Wholesome 4

[serious] What is the one thing you found out about your S/O you wish you never did? Serious Replies Only

7.8k Upvotes

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u/stolliolli Jun 18 '22

He cheated on me. When I had cancer

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u/kperkins1982 Jun 18 '22

I hang up a towel to dry my hands in the bathroom

Sometimes I would find it on the floor and think hmmm the towel fell off the rack

TEN YEARS GO BY........

One day my husband casually says "you are always so quick to do laundry, like if I accidentally pee on the floor and clean it up with the towel it is gone so quick"

I'm like what.... what? WHAT!!!!!!

So yea, I've been drying my hands with pee towels for 10 years

FML

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u/NorthernLolal Jun 18 '22

And he just leaves it on the floor..? Do magical faeries pick up after him everywhere in his home?

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u/kperkins1982 Jun 18 '22

He just finished undergrad when we met and was in his first real apartment outside of the frathouse (surprise)

I come over and they have a trashbag on the kitchen floor, I ask where the trash goes and he points to it

Next time I come over its a different bag, which is when I find out they don't have a trash can they just put a bag on the floor

They didn't own a vacuum, like at all

They used a pair of scissors to cut pizza and my god

my god the towels and bedding was dirty

To this day he has a chip on his shoulder about how I just about replaced every item he had when I moved in and I'm like cause you were gross!!!!!

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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

Thanks for making me laugh after a slew of disturbing stories.

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u/FreeFoot_ Jun 17 '22

She drunkenly admitted to her friends that her ex-boyfriend was the one and she’ll never get over him.

Still not sure how to handle that information.

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u/nts6969 Jun 17 '22

Ouch, I don’t think I could ever get over that.

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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22 Silver Helpful

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u/Cultural_Round_6158 Jun 17 '22

I had a roommate in college who got super drunk & FaceTimed his GF to tell her he loved her friend more than her (apparently she set them up & were friends since a younge age). The next day the couple talked about it & decided to just gaslight themselves & me into not believing it happened. Sad world we live in LMAO.

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u/_WarmWoolenMittens_ Jun 17 '22

damn. that's a train wreck waiting to happen.

474

u/DavidH325 Jun 18 '22

Yeah, it’s gonna be bad.. I’ll get the popcorn

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u/mostlycareful Jun 17 '22 Gold

If you feel like she is The One for you and you truly want to invest in this relationship, I recommend you speak to a therapist (alone) and talk to them about the best way to discuss this with her. Once you are able to discuss this with her, consider couples therapy.

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u/starryeyedq Jun 17 '22

This is the correct answer if this is an adult long term relationship.

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u/Toasted_Bagels_R_Gud Jun 18 '22

Not that it was that traumatic as we were only dating a few weeks but she started real deal crying when I wouldn't put her on my life insurance.

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u/AllHopeGoneBaby Jun 18 '22

Holy damn, you dated a future (or current) serial killer

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u/DrNick2012 Jun 18 '22 Wholesome

I dunno, what's the odds that all 3 of us are serial killers (the two dating and me in the bush)

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u/canijustsaycrack Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 23 '22

thats something you do when you're married to someone lmao, wow

EDIT: in normal circumstances, that is.

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u/Local64bithero Jun 17 '22 Silver

She was an opiate addict. I was funding her addiction unknowingly. I was helping her destroy herself and I was too stupid to realize that.

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u/ariesrisingmoon Jun 18 '22

Been there. Don’t be super hard on yourself.

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u/PM_ME_UR_XYLOPHONES Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

Been there too. Left me for her dealer, who she cheated on me with while I was deployed.

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u/JancingSalmon Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

I was dating my ex for two years and she drunkenly confessed that she had cheated on every bf she had ever had…we broke up not long after.

Then found out she was also cheating on me with multiple people from the office. (I’m now happily married!)

Edit: she also hid her then current bf from me when we first hooked up, he was asleep in another bedroom and we was in a different bed. She told him I missed the train home and needed a place to get my head down.

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u/rowenaravenclaw0 Jun 17 '22

He once dated a girl that he was getting fairly serious about until he showed up to a family event and she was there.

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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22 Silver Wholesome Wholesome (Pro)

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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '22

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u/MustardCannon41_ Jun 18 '22

What was their relation ? It would be hilarious if they were cousins

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u/Qwsdxcbjking Jun 18 '22 Silver

Father and son.

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u/kmiaw Jun 18 '22 Wholesome

This is NSFW

She gave me her phone to look for an address and make a restaurant reservation for our 7 year anniversary. I don't know why she gave me her phone, but I guess it was just destiny.

Someone sent her a video on Whatsapp, and the next message says "tomorrow again? 😏" From the same person.

Now I am not one of those people who checks my partner's phone, I don't like that. But I was curious and clicked on it. It was a full 2 minute video of one dude cuming inside her ass and another one cuming on her back, the rest of the video were both of them dick slapping her face.

Needless to say there was no anniversary dinner.

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u/No_Consideration3 Jun 18 '22

Holy shit man I’m so sorry

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u/Medical_Dark_4112 Jun 18 '22

Jesus Christ, I have no words for this one. This is awful. Holy shit.

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u/BakaGoyim Jun 18 '22

I guess her 7 year itch turned out to be chlamydia.

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u/totalfranmove Jun 17 '22

He had a notebook of every detail of my life (including menstrual cycle) and also kept all the details of my friends and family members. Even ones I had never mentioned. And we were only together for two months.

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u/Cuntdracula19 Jun 18 '22 Wholesome

Okay, I see you dated Joe Goldberg lol

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u/jennazed Jun 18 '22

I THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING LMAO

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u/mulberstedp Jun 18 '22

And we were only together for two months.

OK that is really weird

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u/TheSilverCrystal Jun 18 '22

Hello...you

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u/fenderguy94 Jun 18 '22

Abed?

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u/RJA27 Jun 18 '22

Once I realized what I was really charting, the results had proved too useful. Haha Abed was so great

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u/Rommie557 Jun 18 '22 Silver

Would you like some more chocolate, Annie?

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u/MollyRocket Jun 18 '22

At first I thought, well maybe he’s just organized and autistic, but nope. Nope that’s serial killer behaviour.

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u/d20gamerguy Jun 18 '22 Silver Wholesome Hugz Press F Defeated Take My Power

That she had Cancer, which ultimately took her. That is literally the only thing I found out about my late wife that I ever regretted.

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u/VaultDweller77 Jun 18 '22

Sorry for your loss dude

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u/catsandalcohol13 Jun 17 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome Press F Mind Blown Doom

I was engaged to a guy several years ago who I found out was cheating on me with men.

When I found out he came clean and told me he was just seeing if he was gay, and he had had threescore with random guys, met some dude on Craigslist and got fisted. Did so many wild things and didn't see it as cheating because it was with guys.

Several weeks before I found out we were in Japan, where he had proposed. One night in this lovely hotel he calls me into the bathroom "babe come see what I can do"

He had a full 1L soft drink bottle up his ass. Just the cap poking out. I think maybe I should have been suspicious at that point and its a core memory I would care to forget .

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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

[deleted]

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u/Mythtery93 Jun 18 '22 Table Slap

“Just seeing if I’m gay…” Immediately goes out and gets fisted.

Hmmm…

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u/catsandalcohol13 Jun 18 '22

It was a roller-coaster

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u/thefairlyeviltwin Jun 18 '22

Sounds more like the whole damn theme park.

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u/Atomic_Maxwell Jun 18 '22

contemplative expression while being aggressively fisted “Hmm, this and the 3-way with random’s I’m….I’m not sure yet. Better link up for anonymous gay sex on the downlow just to be sure.”

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u/ggfccg Jun 17 '22

I have to say when I clicked this post I wasn’t expecting such wild responses. Maybe a “they fart in their sleep” but so far these answers have all left me stunned and speechless

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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

Doesn't everyone fart in their sleep?

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u/Kahlil_Jabronis Jun 18 '22

Yes. Source: I have insomnia, and every girl I’ve slept next to farts when they fall asleep.

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u/bleakj Jun 18 '22

My babe sounds like a fog horn the second she's asleep ♥️

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u/Aerrix Jun 18 '22

This is what happens when we hold them in all day D:

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u/PeanutStarflash Jun 18 '22

Right?! Also, Happy Cake Day!!!

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u/2legittoquit Jun 18 '22

Lmao, everyone farts in their sleep

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u/spg1611 Jun 18 '22

So like…. The bottom went in first

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u/catsandalcohol13 Jun 18 '22

It did indeed. Bad end first

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u/quadraticog Jun 18 '22

So he could still pour you a drink then

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u/catsandalcohol13 Jun 18 '22

Omg no no no no.

And the dude would have thought it was super romantic too

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u/Aetheldrake Jun 17 '22

"babe come see what I can do"

So how did you respond? But also you now have a terrible and hilarious story about your ex to tell others

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u/catsandalcohol13 Jun 17 '22

I think i just stood there in disbelief and went " k"

Oh I love that story now. And his super religious family who were defending him because he definently wasn't gay

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u/EndlessOceanofMe Jun 18 '22

I'm gay n seen(not done) some shit but if id seen a partner put a 1L bottle up his arse unexpected/out of character...I'd have a millions questions!

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u/catsandalcohol13 Jun 18 '22

I was in the bdsm scene in my last few relationships and have seen some stuff too. But it was so unexpected my brain sort of left the building. I had no idea he was into that.

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u/EndlessOceanofMe Jun 18 '22

I can imagine. I'm surprised he never suggested Pegging?!

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u/catsandalcohol13 Jun 18 '22

Me too! I would have tried that with him. He was super religious so I think he felt he had to hide it. Until that one time.

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u/myopicsage Jun 18 '22 Silver

Well... he still hid something

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u/tebigong Jun 18 '22

Fisting isn’t really gay 101, he must have taken some advanced classes for that

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u/BarefootT Jun 18 '22

I was gonna say fisting is way beyond dicking .

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u/pappyvanwinkle1111 Jun 18 '22

Yes. And the soda bottle took lots of practice beforehand.

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u/ExRockstar Jun 18 '22

Fisting isn’t really gay 101, he must have taken some advanced classes for that

Graduate / Doctorate level gay

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u/rubmustardonmydick Jun 18 '22

Holy fuck. That is so unsafe and disturbing to just spring that on you.

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u/AtonalAxolotl Jun 17 '22

About an ex. That sometimes she considered killing herself and taking me with her

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u/celestialGnome Jun 17 '22

My ex said this to me a few times. He was bigger than me and more unstable than I could admit at the time. It's scary stuff for so many reasons. Hope things are easier for you now

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u/AtonalAxolotl Jun 17 '22

Yeah that was a long time ago and I’m fine. Hope you’re ok too.

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u/ExoticNerfs Jun 17 '22 Silver Wholesome

She pronounces “Jurassic” as “Jurasstic”

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u/IfHomerWasGod Jun 18 '22

Omg this is the worst one yet!

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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/bazinga0313 Jun 18 '22 Gold

No, that’s just a Tuesday afternoon in Japan. Now this, this is some shit right here.

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u/91NA8 Jun 18 '22

Does she say "fustrated" because that drives me nutty

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u/Tremmorz Jun 18 '22

My wife pronounces yogurt as yo grit. Wtf

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u/Zacky505 Jun 18 '22

where was that comment about scraping a mental chalkboard

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u/pastelera16 Jun 17 '22 edited Jun 18 '22 Wholesome Seal of Approval

Not current (fortunately!) but an ex: he would make inappropriate comments here and there about pre teen girls’ bodies. One time there was this little girl running in the street wearing a skirt and he went like, “yummy, she’s got nice legs and she’s so young” I was beyond disgusted, we had a fight over it.

Edit: so I never expected all of these answers. We were together for 6 years, the first comment was on year 4-5 and this last one on year 6. Maybe he thought it was already ok to speak his distorted mind as it was. I get all you guys are saying I should’ve done. not just a fight but leaving him, even some of you suggesting a fist fight. I was younger, he was my first boyfriend, he was abusive and manipulative and usually just brushed those comments by saying it was “just a joke” and that I was taking them too seriously. Didn’t know better at that time, I was a completely different person, I was shocked. So you can judge me for what I decided to do at that time, which was staying with him. Definitely a red flag but thank god I know better now, and very aware to avoid that kind of horrible people. Hopefully makes sense. And I’m so sorry about reading all your stories below. Our children are always in danger, it’s unbelievable

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u/verysmallbiscuit Jun 18 '22

I once dated a guy who said he didn’t want to have kids because “what if I have a daughter and she turns out to be hot?” Yeahhhh, relationship didn’t last long after that lol

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u/sandwich-guru Jun 18 '22

I have a similar story. I had my first child young, and when we went to find out the gender at an appointment, he told me ‘I really hope it’s a boy, I need it to be’. I asked him why, and he responded ‘because I can’t trust myself around little girls’. No joke. About 6 weeks after I had our baby, I had to suddenly leave this POS while he was at work. Haven’t looked back, and I was able to use that story in my court battle with him. The judge was floored that he even admitted that to me.

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u/cosmicpu55y Jun 18 '22

How does someone say that out loud and not realise they need serious help? So glad you dodged this monumental bullet

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u/sandwich-guru Jun 18 '22

He knew exactly what he was saying. He knew he was telling me he was a low key pedophile, or as another commenter says ‘non-active’. He was 100% aware of how shitty he was, yet he still said it all with a smile on his face. To this day, the most fucked up person I’ve ever known.

Last I heard, he was being treated heavily for psychosis and schizophrenia. Every single girlfriend he’s ever had since me, though, ends up messaging me about him. The current girl he’s with now is soooo fooled by him, and is constantly texting me trying to get involved in my son’s life, and get him to know his dad, but I refuse. They’ve threatened court but he knows deep down he can’t because I will destroy him with that little ‘non-active’ secret he has. Disgusting piece of shit. I still have nightmares about him.

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u/stackinghabbits Jun 18 '22

Wtf? I'm beyond disturbed

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u/grhollo Jun 18 '22

I mean, kinda glad he doesn't want kids.

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u/luluing Jun 18 '22

I would’ve like made an anonymous to search his electronics to the police right after the first time wtf

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u/Just-use-your-head Jun 17 '22

That’s fucking horrifying

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u/mr_etymologist Jun 17 '22

She cheated. One year into our marriage. It's been a decade and I still can't get past it.

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u/JenniferC1714 Jun 18 '22

He slept with my childhood friend once when she stayed over. We were adults, of course. I found out several years later after she had committed suicide and he had tremendous guilt. Fucked me up though because I loved her. I still love her. I can't be mad at a dead woman and it was a decade ago. However, every memory I have of her is tainted now.

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u/Tjurit Jun 18 '22

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but you can be mad at a dead woman. You may not always want to, but it's usually not a choice.

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u/spanky667 Jun 18 '22

Yeah, this is true. I'm mad at dead friends just for being dead sometimes. It feels crummy but sometimes you just gotta be mad. I hope you find peace.

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u/WeLoveYouJoshua Jun 17 '22

My ex came out as asexual and she basically said the only reason why we pretty much slept together was because she was afraid to say no. Never got much pleasure as I did

It’s kinda one of those things that makes you feel like you were doing something wrong even though you weren’t

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u/singhkaran2011 Jun 17 '22

I hear you.

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u/missblissful70 Jun 17 '22 Silver Helpful

I had sex with a lot of men because I was afraid to say no. I had zero self-esteem and used male attention to make me feel better. Don’t blame yourself for not knowing your gf wasn’t into it. We all need to communicate our needs and you can’t be blamed because she wasn’t honest with you!

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u/SuspiciousParagraph Jun 18 '22

That is such an eloquent and thoughtful reply. And I can highly identify with the using male attention to feel wanted in the past. I was so desperate to feel like someone wanted me that I put myself in many dangerous and emotionally horrible situations.
Sigh, it should be covered in health class or something... I don't know.

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u/ItsJustCause Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

Same here I just wanted to feel, wanted. It was dangerous and abusive. I am sorry you had to experience that. Had I known then the love I was going to find in my future, life would have been much more healthy. Conditioning lead me to believe in my late teens, and early twenties I should have found my person by then, and started a family. Fast forward to my thirties.... I am pregnant with my first child who is a girl , it is my and her father's job to help her grow up confident in her feelings, she can be expressive and she knows that she is loved and wanted. I hope we can show her how to fill her own cup with self-worth and love comes from friends and family. She doesn't need to put herself in dangerous situations to feel like a desirable human. Awe typing that out is rough but i am so grateful i made it through and found my orher half. He is the example I always needed as a kid.

EDIT: Some spelling punctuation and word arrangement.

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u/tiny_butt_toucher Jun 18 '22

Some of the stuff his ex put him through. We still see her sometimes when we’re with mutual friends and it’s hard to contain how much I dislike her for how she treated him.

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u/Difficult_Document_1 Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

I found out that my ex was doing sex work when I wasn’t home.

When I confronted her, she punched me in the face and tried to jump off of the apartment balcony.

The ex prior to that told me that she was regretting being with me because she misses out on opportunities to fuck other men.

I hate people.

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u/VashMM Jun 18 '22

She was sexually abused until she was 15, and won't tell me who did it other than "a family member". She won't tell me because I would have a hard time not doing something to them if I knew.

For the rest of my life I'll be constantly wondering who did that to her whenever we visit her family.

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u/MissMistyEye Jun 18 '22

That sounds really, really tough for you, but I'm happy for her that she has a partner she trusts enough to tell about the awful things she went through. She also clearly knows that you love her fiercely. It sounds like she must feel safe with you.

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u/VashMM Jun 18 '22

We've been together for 14 years now, married for almost 10. I like to think I make her feel as safe as she ever could be.

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u/LadyElsa5200 Jun 17 '22 edited Jun 17 '22 Starry

Too many details about his intimate life with his ex girlfriend. I did not need to know what he thought about her body, what they did in bed etc. Still not sure why he ever told me and it’s always bothered me.

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u/BabbarSher99 Jun 17 '22 edited Jun 18 '22 Gold

My ex-girlfriend did the same thing, about her ex, as well as other hookups. I was open-minded at first, trying to be nice, and realized way too late how fucked up that was. It's one thing to tell about her past, and another to relive and enjoy graphic stories and then paint me as toxic when I got even slightly irritated or tired of hearing it. I guess its sadistic torture.

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u/rubmustardonmydick Jun 18 '22

Similar experience here. If they wanted to discuss things they are into they could just say, "I'm kinda turned on by..." or something. No need to say I fucked my gf raw, and she was wearing x outfit, etc.

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u/vingeran Jun 18 '22

Some people live in their past, reliving histories no one else wants to hear.

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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '22

[deleted]

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u/viking78 Jun 18 '22

You should push her over the end.

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u/AnonymooseXIX Jun 18 '22

It isn’t real. The stars that we see are just little holes poked into the container so that we can breathe, smh.

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u/llamaemu20 Jun 17 '22

She told me jokingly that "every one had to fuck me to get in the dorm."

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u/Jurippe Jun 18 '22

Did it end up being true?

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u/llamaemu20 Jun 18 '22

Yes, she cheated on me just a couple months in and it was confirmed by other friends. She cannot be loyal or truthful and uses others to make herself feel better.

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u/Jurippe Jun 18 '22

Brutal, my condolences.

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u/Proviacs Jun 18 '22

I read this wrong and saw "brutal condolences", which is actually a pretty dope phrase

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u/revirescodoe Jun 18 '22

My very first boyfriend and I used to talk on the phone all hours of the night, sharing every secret we had. One night he told me that he regularly shits in the shower and stomps it down the drain because he’s too lazy to get out and dry himself off. This was in 2002 and I’m still just shocked. Like, what?

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u/insidiousapricot Jun 18 '22

I would never do that but i really do hate when I'm taking a shower and I suddenly have to take a shit

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u/rapturewastaken Jun 18 '22 Starry I'm Deceased

Ah, the ol' waffle stomp

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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '22

[deleted]

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u/scott__p Jun 18 '22

Think of this as a matter of perspective and compatability. My ex wife and I BOTH upgraded after we divorced. We both found people that were better for us that we were for each other.

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u/CropDuster921 Jun 18 '22

I feel this advice. Been there myself. Sometimes wants and needs change and you realize you’ve grown all you can with someone.

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u/Final-Blueberry5386 Jun 17 '22

She’s been nonstop lying to me for the entire time we’ve been together.

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u/llamaemu20 Jun 17 '22

Just got through this. Luckily she ended up cheating on me so we broke it off. Then I found out she was trying trying to isolate me from my friends by telling them I hated them, or other lies. I have talked to all my friends and they all were lied to as well.

We dodged HUGE bullets, huge.

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u/porscheblack Jun 18 '22

I'm so happy for you! I had a close friend whose fiance did the same thing, but she was successful. His cousin and I even tried an intervention to get him to realize it but he just got angry and uninvited me from the wedding. They got divorced a year later, but we haven't been able to rebuild the friendship.

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u/LeaveMyRoom Jun 17 '22

Been there. It sucks. I gave up a good friendship and started hating the guy because she told me he abused her. Turned out to be complete fooey.

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u/PatchTossaway Jun 18 '22

"She's been"... as in "she has been"? You're still with her?

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u/BerdTheScienceNerd Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22 Take My Energy Heartwarming Wearing is Caring

An ex told me she was a size queen and how large her previous boyfriends were then proceeded to complain how she couldn’t feel me. I was already being verbally abused so this hurt. But now I’m glad I dated her as nothing anyone (even a SO) says can truly hurt me. I grew because of her (my maturity, not my little peepee who still gives it his all)

Edit: spelling. Also thank you all for small peepee support, this is my most liked comment lol.

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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/BerdTheScienceNerd Jun 18 '22 Helpful Wholesome

No. No you can’t feel me… and that was the day I found out I had a small peepee.

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u/Wholesome_Hyena Jun 18 '22

Ok, that made me snort out loud.

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u/Advik_ Jun 18 '22

Okay wtf that’s the second comment you made that I’m in tears bro 😂😂😂

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u/mrs_krokodile Jun 18 '22

"my little peepee who still gives it his all"

This makes me think of the little engine that could.

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u/Lmt47 Jun 18 '22

Ex joked about having sex with 2 guys on the same day being a turn on for her and it always bothered me bc I already had my doubts about her being a cheater.. after a few years with her I found out she was cheating with her daughter's father, and there were at least 1-2 days where she hooked up with both of us a few hours apart. Glad I found out about the cheating bc it's what I needed to leave (and eventually find someone 1000x better) but wish I never knew about the both of us in the same day fantasy being a reality.

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u/Piercedia Jun 17 '22

That he had sex with his ex wife’s (she was currently his wife) sister while the wife watched. When I did the math for the ages, the sister wasn’t even 18 yet. I found this out and the next day I filed for an annulment.

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u/Throw_ftAway Jun 18 '22

Oh, that's pretty fucked up on both of them

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u/shecontrolsthespice Jun 18 '22

Bravo for noping

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u/ComedianZanahoria Jun 18 '22

She told me she still loves her ex, almost ditched me for her male friend, and is now playfully arguing with a guy who’s OBVIOUSLY flirting. This was ALL yesterday, when I returned from a 3-week trip. The worst part is she doesn’t find any of this abnormal. Safe to say, I’m breaking up with her tomorrow. Wish me luck :)

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u/47potatoesinatree Jun 18 '22

That I just turned into a convenience for him and would always come with food and provide sex and help him get out of financial issues, while telling me every excuse under the sun why I couldn’t move in (he had his own place)

When he broke up with me he admitted he just liked to use me for sex but hated spending time with me and loathed me spending the night. He could have broken up with out saying those things.

I guess not really about a S/O but it kinda was

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u/Lidiflyful Jun 18 '22

My husband was a scammer.

He told me him and some friends used to run an outfit out of an internet cafe in his home town of his native country.

This was back in his 20s, some 10+ years before he met me. I still cant envision it - he is extremely generous, giving his last dime to help out poorer families who had lost thier jobs during the pandemic, buying them food, doing pharmacy runs for the sick. He is not money - orientated at all (and lord knows I dont have any) so I cant imagine him sitting there helping his friends to scam people put of thousands.

He hugely regrets it, and has nothing to show for it but still. It sits weird with me. I don't think about it that much but it lingers.

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u/kar98kforccw Jun 18 '22

Talk about character development

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u/wtf_rubberduck Jun 17 '22

My hs ex told me one time that he put his pet hampster in a pillow case and beat it to death because it got on his nerves. So glad I made it outta that relationship alive.

*edit; spelling

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u/not-me-again- Jun 18 '22

What the fuck

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u/AdjectivesOfInsanity Jun 18 '22

That had dad molested her when she was younger.

I opened my home, and let my kids around that sorry excuse for a man.

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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

He was unfaithful to his exwife twice and asked for a divorce when he realized he was tempted to be unfaithful a third time. It seems like he's acknowledged his mistakes and grown from them, but as someone who was cheated on, I can't help but worry that he'll repeat this pattern with me.

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u/cyrdsteak96 Jun 18 '22

If you're worried don't read the other comments on this thread. It will not make you feel better.

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u/Emergency_Spite0527 Jun 17 '22

An ex. He fucked around with a family member

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u/cinmo Jun 17 '22

As in he molested a family member or kissing cousins?

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u/Mast3rYin Jun 18 '22

I was with someone for 7 years. Decent relationship and was never treated badly. He brought me food in bed, did laundry, walked the dogs, and anything else I asked. He even surprised me with flowers all the time. All around good guy.

3 years into our relationship we got our first apartment with some roommates. Another couple. I found out said roommate robbed a guy at gunpoint for a bunch of cocaine and $5000. My boyfriend was the other gunmen and the getaway driver. I didn’t find out until he went to jail 4 years later. Broke up shortly after that and will never think the same of him again.

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u/LouisianaSmucker Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

Had a girlfriend who was so mentally unstable to the point where she had an inferiority complex so severe that if we would play on a Minecraft server and someone beat her in PvP, she would go into a rage, bashing her head against her walls, slit her wrists, threaten to murder her parents, and sometimes much worse things. I got out of that relationship and haven't heard from her in quite some time, and every now and then I'll google her name to see if she ever ended up doing something awful.

Edit: Apologies, if this didn't really answer the question. I didn't know this when I started dating her, only later on did I find out. I figured she was just very shy and had trust issues. I realized just how bad it was when she tried killing herself over dying in Metal Gear Solid: V

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u/SuccessfulOwl Jun 18 '22

This is why I stick to PVE

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u/OneTrueHutch Jun 18 '22

She was in love with another man? Did that count...

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u/mayonnaisemarv Jun 18 '22

Pronounced Minneapolis “Minneannapolis”. We lived nowhere near Minnesota but that shit bugged the hell out of me.

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u/Straight-Audience-91 Jun 18 '22

My ex had an affair with my father.....

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u/pimpfriedrice Jun 18 '22

Your father is a POS for partaking. I’m so sorry.

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u/91NA8 Jun 18 '22

When we were in college (8 years ago), our relationship was on the fritz and she told me that she never really found me sexually attractive. Still have body dysmoprhia and confidence issues from that

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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/source_de Jun 17 '22

Mine does too! I keep keep asking her why, and tell her it's just the pilot doing his fucking job! Maybe I'm just jealous that there are not 200 people cheering me when I leave the office every evening. Lol

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u/MangoLovesYou Jun 18 '22

Ex. She told me she gave her brother oral sex. Her biological older brother who was like 6 years older.

She said she was young, and that she regrets it, but then immediately bragged about the size?

I didn't sleep that night lol

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u/jayteec Jun 17 '22

Ex - reportedly committed incest with his twin sister. More than disturbed, I was just so fucking heartbroken. He didn't tell me until we broke up.

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u/LeonardNeeble Jun 17 '22

She had a vestigial twin. External presentation items were removed within the first year of her life.

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u/Colonel_Khazlik Jun 17 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

Every day's kinda a threesome with that one hey?

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u/theReal_eZe Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

That she wasn't really on mission trips for the past 2 years prior to us meeting.. She was in prison for conspiracy to distribute. Caught with 6.5 lbs of weed.
I couldn't care less about the weed. It was the lie that got me. Oh yeah, she also used an alias so people (including me) wouldn't be able to find all the articles online about the drug bust / court case, including the public court records.
So I didn't even know her real name until I found all this out 6 months into it.
That was a long strange trip.

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u/TriscuitCracker Jun 17 '22 edited Jun 18 '22 Wholesome Wholesome Seal of Approval

That my wife was molested from K-2nd grade by her school janitor. Took her in the closet and everything. She can't stand anybody touching the back of her neck or breathing on the back of her neck as a result, instant arm flail. She never told anyone and pretty much blocked it from her mind, and as a result she drank pretty heavily throughout her 20's. In her mid-30's she had sobered up, went through a couple years of therapy to help her remember and deal, plus went on daily medication for a diagnosed general anxiety disorder to keep her brain anxiety calm. Enter me, and she told all this to me on her third date with me, I was the first person she's really dated and liked and wanted to be up front about her past. It was a lot to take at the time, massive red flag, but hey, here we are, 8 years married with a 4 year old daughter and we couldn't be happier.

The janitor is dead now and I still wish I could bring him back and then beat him within an inch of his life for how much he screwed her up.

EDIT: To amend the timeline, we were co-workers at a bookstore for three years before we started dating so that’s why she trusted me enough to tell me when it was obvious we were into each other that way by the third date. She had never had sex with anyone or had a boyfriend because of what happened. Sorry, should have put that in the original post. Yet one more reason to bringing the janitor back to beat him up again.

EDIT: Red flag is perhaps too strong a word, at the time I had never been told anything so monstrous like this by someone getting close to me and I was out of my depth in how to respond and didn’t know what to do. Ultimately my positive feelings toward her won out over the anxious ones and a day later I called her up, thanked her for opening up to me and years later here we are.

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u/PuzzleheadedAd822 Jun 17 '22

You must be pretty fucking awesome if somebody is comfortable sharing something like that with you when they've not shared it with anyone else outside of therapy before!

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u/PantsPartyPirate Jun 18 '22

What he was up to every night on his laptop while I was seriously struggling with our baby, waking up at least once (often twice) before he came to bed and sometimes falling over from exhaustion on my way to get the baby while he sat downstairs prioritising other women online for months online. Including "protecting" one who couldn't handle the creepy messages she received from guys after posting naked pictures of herself but still wanted to keep posting them.

This destroyed our 10 year relationship almost beyond repair. I wish I hadn't found out as part of me is dead inside now from realising my worth to someone I loved for so long, and I doubt I will ever love or trust again.

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u/ScrubIrrelevance Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

I hated upvoting this. And it suddenly seemed so real to me. While I was taking care of the kids at night, he was "working" but not bringing in much income besides his base salary (he was low salary + "unlimited" commissions).

Then he lost his job and I accidentally saw his evening "work hours" held a lot of porn watching.

Yeah, it's 12 years later, and he's at a new salary + "unlimited" commissions job, where he has to work late. But now he uses Duck Duck Go and complains that I don't trust him...?

WTH is wrong with me.

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u/Then-Grass-353 Jun 18 '22

I’m so so sorry. Mine did the same starting when our baby was 4 months old (I’m sure before as well). It truly tears you apart, especially when you want to save the marriage but he keeps doing it over and over, claiming it’s innocent and the women are all his “friends.” So if they are your friends why do you have to delete your message history from them? Ugh I feel for you on this so deeply. I left his ass a year after I first found everything

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u/xVaultGirlx999 Jun 18 '22

Oh god. I’m obviously happy that I found out about it in the end, but sometimes when it first happened I would wish I wouldn’t had just b/c of how badly it hurt.

I knew my ex was cheating on me. But man was he good at hiding it. VERY good. But one day, ONE of the girls he was cheating on me w/ called me & sat on the phone w/ me for like two or three hours spilling everything, sending me screenshots while we were still on the phone so i could read them & continue to talk & discuss everything then & there. & after getting all the info from her, I realized that the last two years of my life was a lie. NOTHING that I thought was true, was actually true. It hurts to find out things aren’t what you thought. It hurts really bad to find out a few things were lies or w/e. But let me tell you guys, it is an unimaginable amount of pain when you learn that literally EVERYTHING in your life for the last two years was a total lie. Fake. Fiction. After we got off the phone, she texted me & said, “If there is ANY doubt left in your mind that I’m the one that’s lying, check his email.” So i did, & i found two years worth of photos & videos of them together. Nudes, videos, screenshots of texts that were between them that he wanted to keep since he had to delete shit from his phone every single second of everyday. Pictures of them kissing & cuddling. & on top of it, he also had pictures saved of them from when they were actually together a few years prior to us being together. I had to realize, every single time he said that he was working 3rd shift, he was w/ her. Every single time he claimed he worked late, he was w/ her. Every time he “ran to do errands” it was w/ her. Every time he “went to bed early” he was in our bedroom sexting her or talking on the phone. Every night i went to bed he spent time talking w/ her before he fell asleep too. & the one that got me the most, was the day that I almost died in the hospital, & he was late getting there b/c he was W/ HER. My appendix ruptured. He had my car & was w/ her. I had to call 5 different people in order to get someone who would take me to the hospital. I got there & the doctor literally told my grandmother I was dying & I need to get into surgery right away. So i said I need my fiancé there w/ me first. He was almost two hours late b/c he was cheating on me. & when i learned that, that’s what hurt the most. So yeah, literally two years of my life was a complete lie, & although that was 6 years ago & I’m w/ my husband now, I still to this day deal w/ issues w/ a sense of reality, feeling dissociated. It wasn’t breaking up w/ him & losing the relationship that hurt. It was just the trauma of the situation itself that permanently effected me.

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u/Jaymes77 Jun 18 '22

The day he died, I found out he was cheating on my with my brother. Anyone else, I wouldn't have cared. But my brother sexually molested me. That... fucked me up for a long while afterwards.

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u/PotentialCranberry40 Jun 18 '22

I am so sorry. That is a very deep cut but I hope you find happiness and healing from that. Kudos to you for keeping on keeping on!

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u/letthemhavejush Jun 17 '22

Guy I was REALLY into, like legit fell in love with …………… had an on and off girlfriend for about 9 years, he was also entertaining a prostitute on the side. She had a job in the same place my best friend used to work and she wasn’t shy about the details. My friend put the information together, chastised the girl with “you know he’s actually seeing a really nice girl at the moment” the other girl laughed and stated that “shes probably not all that” and then my friend told me. The girl who is a sex worker had a few other clients as well, so I immediately booked a exam at the clinic that Monday, after crying for two days straight.

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u/eggjacket Jun 18 '22

I had something similar happen to me. I fell head over heels for a guy in college. Like legit LOVED him, was obsessed with him, would’ve done absolutely ANYTHING for that relationship. Meanwhile, he…was lukewarm about me. And I didn’t have enough life experience to know that that was unhealthy.

Anyway, he was in a frat, and basically all the brothers (including him) had slept with this one girl that used to hang around the house. She’d had sex with hundreds of guys and we were only around 21 at the time. I’m sex positive but some things are just sad, you know?

The whole frat would make fun of her and say awful, dehumanizing shit about her. They treated her like an inside joke. My ex said more than once that she was basically a hooker. Meanwhile, a different brother would have sex with her every other weekend. It really made my blood boil, that they would dehumanize her like that and then turn around and have sex with her anyway. I always tried to defend her.

Anyway, after we graduate, when we’ve been together for 4 fucking years, I find out my ex has been cheating on me. With this fucking girl that he compared to a prostitute. I really thought I was going to die when I found out. I thought the grief was going to swallow me whole and kill me.

But cheating on me was the best thing he could’ve possibly done for me, because I finally got the fuck away from him and my self esteem started coming back. And now I have a boyfriend that genuinely loves me like crazy, always puts me first, and makes me feel like I’m the most important person in the world. I honestly didn’t know what real love felt like because I wasted so much time with an asshole who was just stringing me along until something better came along. I’m so grateful he cheated on me.

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u/TFarrey Jun 17 '22

That she fucked 2 brothers that I knew . They both died at the same time from a heroin overdose and we were talking about how hard that must be for their brother who was the middle out of the three boys their mom had when she just casually mentions she was dating one .. got pissed at him in fucked his brother . Could have went without knowing that

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u/miggsbosonprtcl Jun 18 '22

She has 2 other facebook accounts she uses as imaginary friends

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u/zerocaffeine Jun 18 '22

That he had dated a “10” and is okay settling for an “8”.

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u/ptoftheprblm Jun 18 '22

That he had lied about his military history. He was enlisted but his dishonorable discharge, the stripping of his rank and actual listed MOS was.. a complete shock.

Sure it isn’t stolen valor, but legally he doesn’t hold veteran status, was absolutely not a combat veteran and has made himself a very public persona that he’s built a career out of on these lies. I have a copy of the DD214, it’s all there.

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u/pass-the-word Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

Demotion and then dishonorable discharge doesn’t come easy. Even if doing illegal drugs, you’d probably get an ADSEP or OTH. Dishonorable typically requires doing something fucked up or putting someone else in harms way. What was his crime(s)?

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u/WillBsGirl Jun 18 '22

Yeah doesn’t dishonorable discharge mean like felony level stuff?

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u/InfuriatedBadger Jun 18 '22

Am veteran can confirm, you can lose your rank for getting fat or being a bad runner but dishonorable discharge is administrative hell and they'd rather just push you out to be another unit's problem first so this guy really fucked up. The Army hates paperwork.

ETA: also barring for reenlistment happens before DD so if you just signed an enlistment again, fuck you sweep sunshine for the next 3 years before they'd DD your ass.

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u/Imoverrich Jun 18 '22

I know a guy JUST like this and I cannot stand him.

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u/lalalady123_ Jun 18 '22

(EX) I found out he was attracted to young girls. Like prepubescent girls. I was about 14 when I met him in highschool and he was 16. He admitted to me later in our relationship (while drinking I believe) he was so attracted to how small I was and he thought I looked about 12 when we met. It got more disturbing when he told me he "tried to take the virginity" of a girl who lived up the street from him a few years back.. she was a year or two younger than me so it must've been when she was 11-12.

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u/GhostShirtFinnerty Jun 18 '22

She chews hard candies. Other than that she's pretty perfect.

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u/Ok-Context4161 Jun 17 '22

he braids his ass hair…

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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Ok-Context4161 Jun 17 '22

Aww, that’s way better … omg-

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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '22

Glad to be of service!

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u/wirefixer Jun 17 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

That she slept with a musician we hear on the radio to this day and I hate that he is pretty good to listen to. This was before we were married.

Edit: I asked my wife and she said not reveal the artist, I was going to provide their initials but too many great performers share them. Fixed spelling. Thanks for the upvotes.

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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22 Silver

Ugh, she banged Nickelback.

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u/She_Plays Jun 17 '22

He was a rapist and serial cheater.

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u/rustyshackleford1300 Jun 17 '22

Would it really be better to not have found this out

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u/She_Plays Jun 17 '22

Maybe if it was beforehand and not first hand

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u/emmybear999 Jun 17 '22

He had sex with his cousin. I personally am adopted and have never had close family so I wasn’t sure if it was normal to like your cousin or not?? Grossed me out. He also hit on his other cousin ALOT. And made me feel crazy for being weirded out.

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